Mother-in-law passed away

Xeri_28 · 09-06-2005, 12:53 PM

I feel helpless. I feel so incredibly sad. I feel like I should have done more, been there more, spent more time with her. But I thought, like everyone else, that there was more time.

She died last Friday, it was also my FIL's birthday. She had multiple cancers (bones, stomach and lung). My FIL called me at work at 9:30 to ask me to get in touch with David (his cell was off). He told me the news which stunned the hell out of me. After making sure it was ok to leave work I ran out, jumped in a cab and started making my way to David's office. I remembered he was taking off part of the morning to shop for his Dad's birthday, so I kept trying him on his cell.

I called my FIL back and asked if he'd heard from David yet. He said no, and I asked if he could hold off on telling him because I knew I had to be the one to tell him in person. I couldn't let him be alone and find out on the phone that his mother had died.

I tracked him down at one of our favorite stores. I pulled him aside to a bench and told him how much I love him, that no matter what happens I will be here for him. When I told him the news, he suddenly looked very much like a six-year old. Shocked and sobbing, he fell into my arms. I held him and didn't care that people around us were staring.

We jumped in a cab and went straight to his parents' place. The rest of the day saw a revolving door of concerned neighbours and greiving relatives. His dad looked so tired.

The service is at our local church on this coming Thursday. I am doing my best to be supportive of David and his father, but sometimes I lose it, too. I was supposed to go to work today, I even got dressed, packed a lunch and was sitting on the bus when I was overcome with panic and emotion. I ran off the bus, called work to say I wasn't coming in, came home and sat in a daze for a while.

Then I turned the computer on.

My head hurts. I'm starving but I can't even look at food. I miss her. We were supposed to all have a celebration dinner on Friday night, instead...

My FIL asked us that same day if we could move in with him. We knew this would eventually happen. He's frail, just turned 76, he needs our help. When my MIL was alive they had homecare worker come in to help them out. My MIL was 61 and a multiple amputee. As a child she lost both her lower legs to disease and her hands were malformed. She spent her entire life adapting to the world. My FIL never saw or cared about her so-called "handicaps". He just saw the woman he wanted to spend his life with. Now she's gone and he feels so terribly alone.

Our hearts keep breaking again and again. We know she's in a good place now, where she can walk and run and play the piano like she always dreamed. We try to hold on to that.

HISIRISHGEM · 09-06-2005, 01:56 PM

And God will Wipe Away every tear
from their eyes; there shall be no more
death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall
be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.
Revelations 21:4

I just wanted you to know that God's promised that she won't suffer no more. Her Spirit is with Him safe and sound and His house has many rooms. His kingdom is much greater, and his world is filled with good, not with the evil we've seen here. The limbs you've said she's missed, the other issues you've said she's had?? They're all washed away and she's new. Her body is made new again and she probably walks as we speak and who knows...maybe plays the piano for Gods Glory.

Losing someone is never easy, Its harder for us here because we are the ones left behind missing them. But if you look at Gods promises, She's well taken care of, and so will we be. You haven't lost your mom or mother-in-law. She's still there. She's living among you. You have that opportunity to carry on her legacy and through her Gives God the glory. Don't lose hope, its there! Faith will see you through.

Heavenly Father, I take the time to pray for this couple who lost their mother. We know that she's safe in your kingdom Father, help us to lean on your promises during this rough time. Give this couple and their father peace and strength to push through. We miss our loved ones Father and while we want whats best for them, we also want to keep them here with us and never let them go., FAther, give us strength, give us direction, help this couple the next few weeks as they make decisions that will affect the rest of their lives. Moving in with their father, looks like getting married, planning for a baby, father it all seems so tough and I just ask that would put your hands over this family and give them strength for the road ahead of them. That you would give them people in their lives to help them along the way, and that they would find Jesus in every area of their lives to help direct them. Jesus, Hold them tight, give them hugs, let them feel so loved by you, help them to leave their fears & concerns at your feet and lean on you for support in Jesus Mighty name I pray....AMEN!

I'm so sorry for your loss!

Wendy M. · 09-06-2005, 04:26 PM

I just wanted to say that I know what you are going through it is a hard thing, My dad passed away on Friday Sept, 2nd. He was in need of a liver and Kidney Transplant but was not able to get them. I am soo sorry for your loss and May the Lord watch over your entire family give them strength and comfort during this diffucult time. May God Bless your whole famiy and watch over them always!!If you need to talk you can always PM me. I am going through what you are right now and it is not a easy thing, but I am keeping my Faith in God and I know that everything will be fine. My next big step is to be able to hold up during his funeral service which is Friday, but I know that God will give me strength during that time as well as he is now. Again I am sooo sorry, Stay Strong and Keep your Faith!!

Jashobeam · 09-07-2005, 04:38 PM

I'm sorry your family is going through this. I will pray for you.