A part of me is dying too. I am 7.5w and found out via u/s 2 days ago that my little one is a week behind. It has a hb, but only 85 bpm when it should be well over 100 by now. So we have been told that by our next u/s on the 29th that it should be dead. So I sit here waiting for my precious miracle to die. It's taken us 2.5 yrs. to get here, 5 rounds of clomid, 4 injection cycles, & 3 iui's. I am just so sad. I feel like I'm in a fog most of the time. It's truly bizarre to watch the world continue to function around you when you feel like yours has stopped. Laughter here, a smile there, but nothing seems real, ya know? I am trying to function at work thinking that when I begin to actually miscarry that I will want to be nowhere near this place. But the truth is the only place I feel safe right now is at home w/ my dh and pup.. There are so many questions w/out answers. My dh is hurting but he won't talk about it. I want to be strong for him too but he won't let me. And the well meaning friends who try to say the "right" thing. I actually had one friend tell me it could be worse- I could be as big as a house right now like her friend who is due in Oct. Didn't she realize how cruel that was to say? Anyways, just one day at a time. It's been so long since I've lived my life any other way. So now I just wait- wait for my baby to die... I'm sorry ladies- and thank you if you've read this far. I pray that God takes this pain away from us all very soon...
Oh Brandy, I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could say or do to help you.... Please know I'm saying many prayers for you and your DH. God bless.
__________________ 310/255/180 (5'9")
Goal: 25 lbs by June -Exercise and moderate low carb.
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I don't want to give you false hoep but I say don't give up entirely. My first u/s showed a fetus 1 week behind and a h/b of 98. The doctor was worried but a week later he measured dead on and had a heartbeat of around 180. I am praying that you have a miracle too. Caroline
__________________ 15th Dec 2003 - baby Oliver George James born
I'm so sorry to hear of your bad news. I'll be thinking of you.
Take care of yourself and DH. I know it's a rough time, but you will get through it. Take the time to heal in the meantime. Nobody will truly understand how you feel, but you and well wishers are sometimes cold without even knowing it.
Take care...
shar
__________________ shar - 36
DH (Juan) - 34
Diagnosed 1996 - 1500 mg Meformin, Avandia 4mg, Ramipril 20 mg
Type II Diabetic, Endometriosis, Hypertension.
Proud Mommy to Sarah Camille Nov 14, 03
Furry baby- Holly (still my best Christmas gift ever!)
New South Beach Diet Cyster - 25 lbs lighter and counting!!
I am so sorry. Please dont give up hope yet. That baby is alive right now and miracles can happen! Keep on praying and I will be praying for you too. Please keep us updated. Hang on.
__________________ ttc for 7+ years, clomid resistant
thinner cyster 5'2, 115
-Failed with Injectables, 2000, 2002
-Failed gnRH pump attempt
-Insmed study participant
-Laparoscopy, drilling May '03
- Failed injectable cyccle Sept 2003
-Oct '03 1200 mg D Chiro Inositol, 500-1000 mg metformin
-Finally cycling monthly on my own but no ovulation
-Adopted daughter, Arianna 2 1/2 years old
Do not give up that easily. The doctors told me I had a tubal pregnancy at 4 weeks. I started bleeding at 6 weeks, u/s showed normal pregnancy with no fetal pole. I bled for the next 10 weeks. The ob would not see me because they said my pregnancy was not viable. On March 26, 2003 I gave birth to a healthy 36.5 week baby that weighed 8lb 2 oz. I wish you the best.
I am so sorry you and your dh are going through such a difficult time. Please know I'm praying for you...Hang on to hope, you may have a miracle yet...Your cysters are here for you. Many of us know what you're going through and understand your pain. May peace be with you no matter what happens.
__________________ age 33~DH 36
dx w/PCOS 6/98
TTC since 2/01
m/c 1/4/02 @ 6 wks
m/c 7/24/02 @ 9 wks
Prenatal vitamin
2 rounds of Clomid failed
2 rounds of Pergonal failed
Rest cycle (no meds): +HPT 9/5/03
DD born 5/1/04
"Carry a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come." -- Chinese proverb
My heart goes out to you! I've lost two and understand the whole range of emotions you are going through. I will keep you in my thoughts.
__________________ 35 Yrs. Old
DX PCOS in 1981
Clomid 3 Xs
2 Angel Babies in Heaven
Ovarian Drilling and removal of Endometriosis 2001
Accupuncture to start ovulation 2001
Connor born 02/12/03!
Gained 40 lbs. breastfeeding
#2 due 5/20/05
I am sorry, My prayers are with you and your DH. Listen to soothing music and have candles around at night. Try to relax and I will pray for a miracle.
My baby is dying 
