I see hear that a lot of women are depressed about not having children, not me! I am depressed about not having the life, that I always thought, I would have at my age. I did not include children as being a part of that. I probably would like to have a children or a child in my late thirties, but not now.
I digress; I am upset with my life becasue; I am broke, can not drive, am bumpy and not sexy. I wanted a life of glamor. I thought as a pre-teen that, I would continue being cute and sexy, not so! as the years wen't on everything got worse! Now I am fat, bumpy, nearly bald-headed and stink on top of that! I always figured that, I would be avearge or above average in life, never would "I have ever fathomed being "Below Average" in looks, "career" or sex appeal.
I was always one of the skinny ones, in fact I was underweight, until I hit pubertyuberty was the beginning of my decline in life! I grew up in a tough environment and always tried to do the right thing! Guess where it got me no where! While my other friends dated older men and got brand new cars, homes, their rent, and other bills paid. I remained chaste, until marriage, now I am going divorce. Some life!
You know where you are now (though I doubt it is quite as bad as you make it out!)... what can you do to become the person you want to be? You cannot be born again, but you can change a little every day.
For the hair and weight-- PCOS symptoms... If you're not on metformin yet, it would be a good idea to see a reproductive endocrinologist (they're not just for trying to conceive). There are also alternative remedies you can try (on the alternative remedies board here there are a lot of suggestions)... I lost 30 pounds and most of my IR symptoms with apple cider vinegar shots.
Take a driving class.
Figure out what kind of career you want (maybe you can't be a movie star, but there are a lot of things out there to explore) and how to get there... get more education (and loans) if necessary ... get a new job if necessary.
You don't want to be a kept woman-- that's not a real life. Take charge of you and what you want to be. You can do it!
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Me 31 / DH 28 Married to my Dutch Boy since 12/23/2000 Cancer Survivor - Leukemia Gloucophage XR,Synthroid,Zoloft,Prenatal TTC Since 5/2004 3 IUI'S A BUST Clomid 100mgs IUI 10/27/08 BFP "I'm going to be a Mommy" Beta 15DPO -108, 17DPO - 331 1st ultrasound 12/1 - strong heartbeat 2nd ultrasound 1/5 - Heartbeat 162 IT'S A BOY!!!!! EDD 7/19/2009
Luca Allen Maarten
Born 6/28/09
5lbs 15ozs 18inches
Sillie- How are you doing since you got out of the hospital? I am glad that you are out now and doing much better. Hope things start to really work out for you. Glad to see you back!
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Me 31 / DH 28 Married to my Dutch Boy since 12/23/2000 Cancer Survivor - Leukemia Gloucophage XR,Synthroid,Zoloft,Prenatal TTC Since 5/2004 3 IUI'S A BUST Clomid 100mgs IUI 10/27/08 BFP "I'm going to be a Mommy" Beta 15DPO -108, 17DPO - 331 1st ultrasound 12/1 - strong heartbeat 2nd ultrasound 1/5 - Heartbeat 162 IT'S A BOY!!!!! EDD 7/19/2009
Luca Allen Maarten
Born 6/28/09
5lbs 15ozs 18inches
Nicole, Thanks for your advice. I am going to have to force my Dr. to put me on Metformin,she does not believe that I should be on Metformin, since Im not a diabetic"yet". I explained to her that both my parents are diabetic, which puts me a signifiacnatly hgher risk of developing diabetes. I am in the process of finding a new Dr. I'll give the apple cider vineagr a shot, it sound interesting. I feel a whole lot better today, some days are just completely unbearable for me.
Thanks
To Holland and Wendy M, sorry, I am not Sillie. My name Celie is spelled with a C, and not an S. Here is a little information about me,I am 28, years old, I live in the mid-west, currently going through a divorce and looking forward to attending grad school this fall.I do empathize with Sillie, yesterday, I felt pretty bad. I am so grateful for all the good advice that, I have recieved from the women here at Soul Cysters.
Sorry, I'm not Sillie.
I am currently seeing a therapist, and so far it is ok. I have had to delve into a lot of unresolved pain from my past. I think having had to go through a rough period during my teenage year's sort of scarred me.
I am making the first step,because I do want to change. I just have to figure out how? I am tired of being angry, depresssed, resentful and bitter. I don't have many friends, I think that I've pushed them away. I just want to feel normal versus depressed all of the time.
If you work hard at it and you find a good match with your therapist, therapy will definitely help you achieve your many of your goals and make you a happier person. It is very much worth doing. A good therapist will help you figure out how.
You can apologize to your friends and make new ones. That is also a lot of work, but worth doing. Take your time though, no need to rush things... try to change a little every day to be the person you want to be.
Wow, great. I am concerned however; about not being smart enough to finish graduate school. I consider myslef to be an average student, in some areas, pretty bad in others. I am really nervous about applying for graduate school and being accepted. While PA is my first option my second is Library Science. I still want to pursue owning my own business irregardless of which major,I ultimately stick with or don't stick with.
My Depression 
uberty was the beginning of my decline in life! I grew up in a tough environment and always tried to do the right thing! Guess where it got me no where! While my other friends dated older men and got brand new cars, homes, their rent, and other bills paid. I remained chaste, until marriage, now I am going divorce. Some life!
You're username is very similer to Sillie
