worriedwoman

I remember how scared I was when I got a positive pregnancy test. I was nineteen and my boyfriend had just left me for my best friend. I was terrified, yet almost excited at the prospect of a baby. They were not happy about my positive test and my "best friend" offered to drive me to doctor's appts. The idea of her intruding and wanting me to evaluate my options made me sick so I told them it was a false alarm. I stayed alone those next few weeks, terrified and sick. I remember being sick a lot. And then I remember the pain. I was struck with intense cramps one day, so bad I doubled over. I knew then that I was losing the baby.

I bled for over a week, giant clots yet never went to the doctor. I figured this was God's will. Eventually things returned to normal. I was babyless was the only difference.

I still ache over this. It's been nearly a decade and I still get teary-eyed on the anniversary of the miscarriage. I feel empty on mothers day.

I tried this last month to get pregnant, right before I was to get my depo shot so the cysts will stop scaring my ovaries. i tried hard and nothing. Even though I was bleeding, I hoped that the pregnancy test would be positive. Nothing.

Keleigh

Isn't it crazy how quickly our perspective can change? Terror at the thought of a positive pregnancy test when we're young suddenly turns into terror at the thought of a negative pregnancy test as we get older.

I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that alone. And such a young girl then. I hope you get a beautiful positive soon!

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Tensei

*HUGS* I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I pray that things will get easier for you. I'll send you tons of baby dust!

VivC

((Hugs)). I'm so sorry for your loss.