my first loss..... soooo sad

Mya · 01-21-2006, 08:07 PM

i had no idea that it would effect me like this!!!
on wednesday was was sooooo happy to hear ofmy 1st BFP!! after only 1 round of clomid 50mgs... but my beta was only 21 at about 18dpo.... i started bleeding that same night... took another beta yesterday... it droppd to 9.... i found this out from a very rude doctor at the clinic... he wouldn't even let me ask questions!!! so just from my own reading i assume/know that i am misscarring.... i went threw so many emotions in just a few days....

where do i go from here.... do i have to wait to do clomid again.... is there anyway to find out the reson i misscarried?

SheriKCMO · 01-21-2006, 09:22 PM

(((Hugs)))
I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope that you find some peace in your own time... each of our journeys is a little bit different. You just have to figure out what your heart needs to get past this really bad time and keep on going. Time seems to be the only real help.

It is usually advised to wait three months to go back to trying again. Other cysters do not wait and are happy with the results. It is for you and dh to decide. I don't know if the doctor would want you to go ahead with another clomid cycle until you have at least one full cycle on your own. Use this time to grieve and reflect and settle your feelings a bit about this tiny one who isn't growing anymore.

Best wishes.

Hayles · 01-22-2006, 01:47 AM

Mya~ I am so sorry hun *hugs* It sounds to me as if it was a chemical pregnancy.(i am not a dr thou just my opinion from my past losses) Due to it being so early I have had a cpl of those too, it does not make the hurt any less real.
TTC again when you are ready to, Most dr's will let you start up again when your next af arrives.
Again i am so sorry for your loss

LaurAnnHere · 01-22-2006, 02:09 AM

I am so very sorry. It is so emotional. You can TTC when you feel it is right for you. I always tried again immediately. It helped give me a focus and some hope. For so long my hope dwindled so badly that I barely had anything to live for. Many women need to take time for emotionaly healing. Many doctors recommend waiting, and many recommend not waiting. My doctor supported me in trying again immediately if that's what I wanted to do. Good luck with your decision. If you need anything, feel free to PM me anytime.

Rebecca's Mom · 01-22-2006, 02:24 AM

my doctor said 6 months, but you do what you feel is right, and i want to say i am so sorry, and if you want someone to talk to I am here for you, its is so hard you will know when things are right

VivC · 01-22-2006, 02:36 AM

((Mya)). I am so sorry for your loss! I'm assuming they checked your progesterone, and it was okay. If so, you may never know the reason this baby didn't survive.

I'm sorry the doctor was so rude - I'd advise finding another one before you get pregnant again.

((hugs)),

Viv

Mya · 01-22-2006, 05:44 AM

thanks everyone..... Viv, he was not my doctor, he was a doctor from the urget care clinc... and i will NOT be going back there.... i also do not know if my progestrone was checked? when i went to my family doc, she ordered a bunch of blood work, but i don't know what it was?

camarofanatic90 · 01-22-2006, 05:47 AM

I am so sorry for your loss! Sending lots of love your way

DiamondInTheRough · 01-22-2006, 06:46 AM

I'm so sorry Mya. I know how much this pregnancy meant to you, and how hard you worked to achieve it. You will know what is right for you. Do take the time to go over all of the bloodwork and find a good doctor before you venture into TTC again. You'll be glad you did.

Take care.

Barbora · 01-22-2006, 09:51 AM

you should TTC immediately, the 3-6 months waiting periods are not reasonable in early loss and contraproductive in PCOS.
I would recommend you leave out Clomid this cycle - there is more chance you conceive without it then with it immediately after early loss, because of proper luteal phase and also Clomid tends to have residual effect
there are more losses with Clomid at this stage of pregnancy out of various reasons - the follicles don't grow at natural speed and burst at bigger sizes, the lining of uterus is affected by the anti-estrogen effects, etc.
it is estimated that every other woman suffered a loss at the stage you have but most are only aware of stronger period, the causes are considered to be related mainly to the quality of the oocyte/sperm and the chromosomal mistakes during conception. As many as 70 pct of conceptus are estimated to be aborted in the first 5 weeks of pregnancy
the progesterone is not routinely checked and in cases when HCG is falling it is considered unnecessary - it is assumed that progesterone falls as well since it is HCG what keeps it up

Mya · 01-22-2006, 06:35 PM

i do think i would like to ttc again right away... or as soon as possible, no more then a month.... as laura said it give you somehting possitive to look forward to ...
- barbora - you mentioned that, you may be more fertile off the clomid after a loss..... but i am concerned that i will not O on my own?

i cannot believe how emotional i have been... i think because eveything happened so fast... just as fast as i found out i was going to be a mom, it was taken away..... i am trying to be possitive and think " think was the 1st time i have been preg. and aleast know i know it's possible, (we are able to do it)" and i know i will probally never find out why this happened.

lil lizzie · 01-22-2006, 08:25 PM

I am so sorry for your loss Mya. ((((hugs))))

Rebecca's Mom · 01-22-2006, 08:54 PM

ok i don't want to interupt the board i wanted to ask the doc told me to wait 6 months we was 4 months pregnant right at 17 weeks, so should i try his early or wait the 6 months......thank you sorry once again just wanted to know

saluki_fan · 01-23-2006, 04:51 AM

Quote:

Mya~ I am so sorry hun *hugs* It sounds to me as if it was a chemical pregnancy.(i am not a dr thou just my opinion from my past losses) Due to it being so early I have had a cpl of those too, it does not make the hurt any less real.
TTC again when you are ready to, Most dr's will let you start up again when your next af arrives.
Again i am so sorry for your loss

I agree - sounds like this was a "chemical pregnancy" - I had 2 of those, where I got BFP's at about 12 or 13 DPO and started bleeding at 18 DPO in both cases. My doctors did not make me wait to try again and I was able to count the bleeding as a "period" and start the Clomid on Day 3 or Day 5 (depending on the doctor I was seeing at the time.)

I am so sorry for your loss.

Barbora · 01-23-2006, 10:28 AM

Mya, I would still not do the Clomid this cycle. Even if you do not spontaneously ovulate normally, you might now. Ovulation does not depend just on the current cycle but also on the second half of the previous one.
A lot of women get pregnant and sustain pregnancy on the rest cycles.
If you do not get pregnant you can always start Clomid next cycle, it is more likely that then the negative effect on the lining and CM will be minimal then.

Tricia, I am not familiar with your case to such extent. From what I know you had a late miscarriage and in these cases it is still recommended to wait at least 3 months for complete restoration of the uterus and cervix. Also, it would be wise to wait for the results.
With Mya it is a completely different story.