Hi. This is my first time reaching out. I had a silent miscarriage the day before Thanksgiving. I have PCOS, take Met, and utilized Clomid. We got to 9 1/2 weeks then learned the baby had no heartbeat. I have never experienced such heartbreak. I thought for sure that we had made it, after all the hardship we had trying to get pregnant, I convinced myself we would be "rewarded" with a baby. The D&C was horrible. I was awake and felt the life, mine and the baby's, being sucked out of me. I know I did nothing to cause it, but it so hard to not feel some responsibility when I am always told to try and lose weight. I get scared when I think of the future. Will we endure this over and over again? We start trying again this month. We had planned to share the news with family over Christmas - I am so relieved that the holidays are finally over. I see pregnant women and babies everywhere. I used to fall asleep with my hands on my stomache, waiting for the day when I could feel the baby move. I wake up and miss the morning sickness. My husband is such an amazing man. He has held me and let me talk, but I think that he feels like he needs to focus on the future, and I don't want to keep bringing it up and causing him sadness. Thank you for contributing tand creating a safe place for me to turn to!
I'm so sorry for your loss. There are some beautiful messages you will find on this board in the Stickys and other places regarding trying after a loss. To me going through a loss and still wanting a baby are separate. You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting another baby. You can and will grieve the baby you lost, and that is separate from wanting a child. Keep us posted.
__________________ Me 35, DH 37
Our Angels, mc 6/19/06 & mc 9/6/06
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I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that the holidays are over and I remember that feeling too - as well as seeing pregnant women everywhere. Please be patient with yourself and do not expect too much of yourself.
My DH didn't really want to talk about it, but I had my Mom and a couple of GREAT friends that I could talk to and they were my lifeline. I didn't know about this group when I had my losses. Please find someone to talk to - it can really help.
One last recommendation would be to name your precious little one - even if you don't share the name with anyone else it helps you to remember your baby as the real person that it was. You can either choose a neutral name or pick a name based on the gender that you believe in your heart that this baby was. I lost 3 babies and of the 2 that I could find out gender - my gut instict was correct, and I chose a neutral name for the third.
I hope that there is something in this post that is helpful to you and again I am so sorry.
Kath
__________________ dx pcos and IR 12/02
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IR Diet - it's called a diet but it is really a lifestyle change To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Mom to 3 angels (2 1st trimester miscarriages & 1 full term stillborn) and 2 grade schoolers
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Im sorry about your loss. I know how you must feel right now. Take as much time as you need to heal.
__________________ Monique(27) DH(31) Dx: PCOS-1999, Diabetes II-2005 Aiden James born 6/17/08 1 Angel Baby due to pPROM and Inc. Cervix (7/20/06) 1 Furbaby Brownie the Chihuahua
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I am sorry to hear of your loss.
I know how you must be feeling. After TTC #2 for 2+ years, I finally conceived. I was sooo happy that we were finally going to be blessed with another baby.
It seemed like my whole world fell apart when we discovered (2 days before Christmas)that there were no heartbeats (twins), and I had to have a D&C. The doc gave me versed so I don't remember much of the D&C.
I had gotten PG with the twins by using alternatives, but didn't continue taking anything during the PG. I was so afraid to have another m/c that I started using the alternatives again to conceive, and I KEPT taking them through the whole pregnancy, PLUS I started taking Met after I got the BFP, PLUS I begged my doc to Rx progesterone until week 13.
I don't know if I needed the met and progesterone to prevent m/c but I didn't want to take any chances. I conceived within 3-4 months after starting TTC, never had another m/c and I was blessed with DS#2. (see my PCOS story)
If you would like to try alternatives to use in addition to your current treatment plan, it might increase your chances of success.
I wish you the best of luck, and many blessings as you start TTC.
__________________ Cara
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DS#1 (10) BFP naturally
Twin angels To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. BFP w/ yeast control, m/c @ 9w d/t low prog.
DS#2 (5) BFP w/ candida control
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TTC #4 with To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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6/3/09 BFP 10DPO beta 76, p4 20.1
13DPO beta 627, p4 21.6
17DPO Beta 3379
7w2d U/S To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. x1, p4 18
11/17 U/S= it's a GIRL
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Only two more years until I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor!!
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but it so hard to not feel some responsibility when I am always told to try and lose weight.
Oh, By the way, I weighed 225 when I became PG with DS#2, and weighed 260 when he was born. Whether you are able to carry your baby to term has nothing to do with your weight, so just because are heavy, you are in no way to blame for this m/c. It is most likely a hormonal imbalance that causes m/c in cycters, not being over weight.
Did your doc put you on progesterone after you go the BFP?
__________________ Cara
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DS#1 (10) BFP naturally
Twin angels To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. BFP w/ yeast control, m/c @ 9w d/t low prog.
DS#2 (5) BFP w/ candida control
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6/3/09 BFP 10DPO beta 76, p4 20.1
13DPO beta 627, p4 21.6
17DPO Beta 3379
7w2d U/S To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. x1, p4 18
11/17 U/S= it's a GIRL
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I'm very sorry for your loss! I hope you can find some comfort in sharing your story and seeing that somehow we on this board have survived the worst. I am so glad your husband is so close and loving. He is probably hurting more than he shows, as men do things differently in grief. When the time is right, you two will be ready to brave another pregnancy, and I wish you the best of luck when that happens. Take as much time as you need, though, to simply rest and recover from this shock. Many hugs!
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
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Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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__________________ ♥Jayde♥ Me (30) DH (39) DX'd in 1999 TTC #1 since 1998 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. for a 2007 miracle Meds: Met 1500mgs, Vitex, prenatal vit. Ovarian Diathermy 4-13-07 Mom to 2 dogs Buster and Lennon and 2 kitties Tuffie and Rowdie Mae
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I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. (((hugs))) You are in my prayers. Take care.
__________________ Me (34), DH (35) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Dx PCOS June 2005
Metformin 1500 mg
Prenatal Vitamins ^i^ Graycin - August 2006, my angel baby To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
__________________ Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
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Started November 15th and 22 pounds lost!
Walk America in 2007 in memory of my little Jackson. Go to walkamerica.org/sweetsmom to support me.
my first post, my first loss 
wish there was something i could say................
