Please bear with me but I need to get this out. I lost my baby on April 26th. I was approx. 8 weeks along. My dh and I were so happy to have a surprise pg when ds was only a month or so old. We wanted our kids close. I started spotting at about 6 weeks. My beta's were screwy and my dr just told me she was concerned. My first ultrasound looked great. Sac was in the right place and a faint heartbeat. We figured I just may be not as far along. Our second ultrasound 2 weeks later showed 2 sacs or basically one that was disintegrating and no heartbeat. My dr. hugged us and said "Im sorry". She told us our options. I wanted to do this naturally. She checked on me every couple of days. We were in the middle of moving to a house that my husband built for us. The bleeding got worse. On a Tuesday morning, while I was all alone- I lost my baby. Every part of my being cried out. My dr. said I wasn't going to be able to distinguish "pg tissue" from the rest. She was wrong. She told me it would just be like a heavy period. She was wrong. Just going through labor with my son, I had contractions (not menstral cramps) and I delivered not passed my baby. What do you do when you miscarry at home. We buried our baby. Then it all got worse. The next few days seemed to get better. Then on the weekend at night I had what felt like hard timed contractions for 3 hours. It felt like my uterus was rupturing. I called my dr. office emergency number. The doctor on call called me back and said it was normal and to take some ibuprophen and get comfortable. I tried to get through the night. By the next morning, I could not walk or use the restroom without excruitiating pain. I called my doula and she told me it sounded like infection and to call my dr back and go to the er. Luckily the dr on call was my dr. She met me at the ER. I had a serious infection and they did an emergency D&C on me. Apparently my uterine lining hadn't passed and got infected. So three days in the hospital. I gave myself that whole week to hide and heal. My dh and I know our lives will go on but we grieve and mourn the loss of the relationship with our little baby lost.
Thanks for reading my story..... What do you do when sorrow is your friend? We thought we put our sorrow's in waiting 9 years for babies but then to loose one as well.... I know the story about the man with no shoes and the man with no feet and our little 4 month old son is our joy and blessing but I am tired of people telling me that. I still lost a baby. I am a mother of 2 not 1.
~Debby
__________________ Debby (31), DH (35)
Married to my soulmate 11 years!!
dx 1996
After 9 years-parents to one precious son
One baby in heaven 4/05
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Debby, I am so sad, my buddy. I am sending you the biggest, warmest hug right now. You are not alone! Stick around here... we've all felt terrible pain and somehow made it by putting one foot in front of the other. You can tell us anything/yell/vent/cry/share in this forum. We understand, unfortunately. I'm so sad and sorry about your little tiny one and what you've been through.
Hang in there,
Sheri
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
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Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Debby, I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.
__________________ Adrianne 31, DH 44 - married 6/01 - 2 DSDs (13 & 15)
Gabriel born 19w5d 11/15/04 due to IC. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Debby...i just wanted to say how sorry i am for your loss...
and in all honesty when you think sorrow is your only companion...THIS is the place to be. These women past and present know how you feel and understand the emotions...and anything you need to say or let out of your system...this support group is better then any therapist in my opinion...it saved my sanity.
Feel what you need to feel, say what you need to say, and honestly sometimes at first, just being able to get out of bed in the morning is all the healing you can do in a day...but it gets...less raw. Not better or easier...just less intense. Take care...
Debby, I am SO sorry for your loss, and I appreciate you taking the time to share your story.
Just when I have felt I couldn't get out of bed in the morning, I would come post here and these wonderful ladies would lift me up. I hope that you can find some peace and comfort through this board.
((DEBBY)). I'm sorry you had to join us here. It took 8 years before I got pregnant, and then he died. I know that sense of unfairness all too well.
I think burying your baby was wonderful. And, yes, you're grateful for your little boy. But also so sad that one of your babies is dead. The people who say such insensitive things usually just don't have a clue. Since they haven't been through this, they really don't know what to say. You have support here.
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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Oh Debby I'm so sorry, I have been away for a few days and hadn't read this. Hugs.
You aren't alone.
Aviva
__________________ Erica -38, To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DH Sandy-38
Dx PCOS/IR since I was 18, on 2000mg metformin XR.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. and missing Isaac Doran born too soon 2/2/04,
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. and holding Japhet Asher, my Chili Pepper, born happy and healthy 1/31/05,
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I had only been checking in on the Feb '05 board lately because I went back to work and just haven't had time to surf the site.
I'm so, so sorry this happened, I remember when you first said you were pg again and how happy you seemed even if it was gonna be hard with 2 so close in age.......So what if you already have a beautiful little boy, you still hurt the same for your loss as someone with no child at home......give yourself time to grieve and be good to yourself during that grieving time! I'm thinking about you!
__________________
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Riding my trike
LISA 40, DH 42
M/C 11/00, 12/06
Dx: PCOS 9/00, Type 2 DM & HTN 7/09
Meds: Amaryl 4mg, Met ER 1000 2X/day, Micardis 80mg, Iron, Calcium w Vit D, Multivit
Approved for WLS 6/09-awaiting a date!
Mommy to
NICHOLAS AUSTIN 9/1/01
PATRICK JOHN 2/15/05
SARAH ELISABETH 9/28/07
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My first words about loosing my baby.... 
