my dream is to be at peace with myself. and that is so much harder than it sounds.
i want to be comfortable in my own skin, i want to like what i see in the mirror. i want to wear colourful clothes that show off my assets instead of wearing things that make me blend into the scenery.
i dream of being in a position where i'm not in pain every single day of my life. where i don't have PND, where i actually have family that love me for who and what i am.
i dream of a life where i don't throw myself into the problems of others just to avoid my own. where i don't pile so much on myself that i don't have time to breathe. i dream of a 36 hour day so i can get everything done and not have to choose between housework playing with the kids or trying to make some money or doing my voluntary work, because housework looses and i hate living in a mess.
i dream of a life where i don't have to dream of a different life to make myself feel better.
yeah I certainly know what that feels like..I have heaps and heaps of good days, then have a bad spell for a few days and it just sends me right back....its horrible and makes me so withdrawn from everyone and everything...
Great month for births!
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Debbie(33) Patrick(29) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Boy/girl twins born March 10th 2006. Noah Patrick 6lb 6ozs Keltie Rose 4lb 10ozs
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it certainly is, i'm in march, so is my mother, nan and dad in law!
the biggest problem with pnd is how guilty it makes you feel. i've had depression since i was about 10, and i've found ways to cope with that. but the pnd...i know my kids are miracles. my cycle has been so sporadic and unpredictable from the start that it really was a miracle to get pregnant. i i know i am so lucky to have them. but they, particularly my son have cost me so much health wise. i can't go out to work because my back is so bad now. its curved, twisted, i have sciatica my joints are shot.
i know i had my son in like the worst year of my life and in no way do i blame him for anything, but it did take me a while to bond with him because he was in the special care unit for over a day. and thats a whole new guilt.
working through all that and coping with everyday life just isn't possible.
my own little dream 
I could of written that myself....
