When I had my first kid EVERYBODY commented how I went from a size nothing to something. It was only about 25 pounds back then but the comments were annoying. Then onto baby number 2 and then weight really came on. I remember being in the hopsital after I gave birth, the mirror in the bathroom was almost full length (I mean WHO installed that in a maternity ward, a man?) and I started to cry.
I think every party, every function and basically everywhere I go I think about my weight and how people are judging me. I'm not HUGE either but my recent cholesterol level was (297) so now besides feeling low, I feel scared but I guess what better motivation? I think because my mom was overweight I fell back on that too- that I also would be like her but she did nothing until she had a stroke and then lost 100 pounds and looked amazing and got remarried in one year. It was nuts. She went on a low-carb diet and her diabetes was doing really well and all that but slowly has drifted back to eating poorly.
I'm sick of feeling paranoid and also comparing myself to other skinny moms who have 9 kids and weigh 9 pounds. I keep thinking how I am only 31 and in the prime of my life, and I am wasting my years.
Does anyone else feel like this? Comparing themselves to other mothers? And I used to LOVE clothes and now I hate them. I also will refuse to buy more expensive shirts or pants because I don't want to spend extra money on plus-size crap yet I've been this size for years. I guess it's the hope I would lose it and then I'd have $1000 of pants that don't fit.
I know exactly what you mean. I was fit my whole life until I went on depo and was laid up in a car accident the same month - I literally gained 30 lbs! I went up another 30 in college then took it off. I went up again when I stopped what i was doing and then after I had my son I went in to post partum depression and gained basically all of my plus size weight then. I hate not being able to shop in normal clothes stores and I refuse to embrace the size I'm in and dress like I know I should simply because I'm not comfortable with my body or how I look. So basically I dress like a bum and that just compounds the problem because then I'm not confident in myself. It's a viscious cycle.
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DS (8)
~Male Factor 5/08 (antibodies)
~3 Failed Clomid rounds (Oct 07, Nov 07, Jan 08) ~Current Status: non-med cycle while waiting to decide about seeing a RE
~Current Meds: Folic Acid, 1500 mgs Metformin, 2000 mgs Cinnamon/Chromium, 320 mgs Saw Palmetto
I am right here with u everyday i promise myself tomorrow i will start working on my weight & tomorrow comes & i eat more crap & feel even worse for it clothes shopping pffffft NO WAY who goes clothes shopping when u look this good sorry hun i am not much help but i am right there with ya
__________________ dx.pcos 2001
dx.Antiphospholipid syndrome 2004
4 Angel Babies
TWO MIRACLES! Zane Sebastian! May 3rd 2006!!!! Sienna Rayne January 3rd 2008!!!!
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I am right there with you too. A lot of mine was put on when I did the Depo shot in high school. The dr warned me that I would "put on a little weight", what I did put on was almost 70 pounds in 6 months I don't know about you, but I don't think of that a little. Still having a heck of a time trying to lose it and that was about 14 years ago. In the mean time I have a step sister that has 4 kids and it back to a size 4 within a month after each kid. It is soooooooo frustrating.
I may not be a Mom, but I know exactly what you're talking about in regards to self esteem and clothes! I gained about 60 pounds total since I started showing symptoms of PCOS. It has now been about 4 years and I still am in complete denial. I almost feel as if when I first meet people I have to explain to them that "this isn't really me", "I'm thinner inside" (granted this was before PCOS diagnosis). I don't feel at all like myself, and I keep telling myself that I WILL not buy clothes to fit me now, when I know I will loose weight...this has been going on for 4 years now and as you can imagine, my wardrobe is pretty bare. I have kept all of my "skinny clothes" because as I tell myself, I will be that size again. So, if you look at my closet, it is completely filled to the max, with about 95% of the clothes not fitting me! I shop at places like Target because I figure, it's not worth it to spend a lot of money on the clothes when I plan on loosing weight...once again...4 years. So I know what you mean, it's a terrible cycle, because having unattractive clothes only makes the self eseem worse! I am just so grateful that I found this website where other people know what I'm going through.
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I could have written your post...
Although i only have 1 child.
I used to be extremely thin... Like 120 lbs and being 5'5"
and then slowly before getting pregnant i gained to like 150lbs which isn't bad for my height, got pregnant and miscarried and got pregnant 3 months later... So i gained l like 50 lbs.
Everyone and anyone would comment on my weight.... I can't stand it and my self-esteem is terrible, i even hate going out. In May my PCP perscribed phentermine to me and i lost 20 lbs on it. But she stopped me now, she said she wants me to do it on my own. But now i just received all the answers to why i can't lose weight easily, the insulin resistance. Between that and these damn migraines that i have for weeks on end- how am i supposed to go the gym.
I used to be a shopaholic and now i can't stand shopping. I just recently starting fitting into some of my older clothing, but i still can't stand my weight or myself!
I am not a mum, but this was me a year or so ago.. at one point i didnt want to leave the house im not kidding!!! I felt so bad in myself and it didnt help that i was going through some family issues at home & it all felt like everything was building on top of me!
Recently though i have had a more positive attitude to life in general, and realise if people dont like the way i am then thats too bad, Im sick of trying to please people who dont deserve the slightest of my attention.
I am now just concentrating on giving my all to the people i love & the people who accept me for who i am!
Because of this attitude not only do i feel better about myself but i have now started to get off my backside and started to work out.
I have been on the wii fit for 9 days now and already have lost 2lbs!!! I am really enjoying it as well.
I plan to continue it and im not doing it for anyone else but me!!!!!!!!
My self-esteem and my weight 
sorry hun i am not much help but i am right there with ya
I don't know about you, but I don't think of that a little. Still having a heck of a time trying to lose it and that was about 14 years ago. In the mean time I have a step sister that has 4 kids and it back to a size 4 within a month after each kid. It is soooooooo frustrating. 
