My Sheri Berry

DaraRocks · 10-01-2003, 08:47 AM

Today my husband and I brought our oldest baby (dog) Sherri to the vet. She was scheduled to have surgery to remove a mass on her belly that had grown 10+ times it's original size in 2 months. Her breathing became labored 2 days ago and she had not barked in 3.
Sherri is blind and deaf. She was originally my mother-in-law's anniversary gift. She began to go blind by the time she was 3, there was hope, an operation that could have saved her vision, but it was $1200. Although they had the money, my husband’s parents never did anything about it. They also never had her spayed and fed her the cheapest dog food available, she was 14 pounds overweight and could barely walk (she's only supposed to weigh about 12 pounds). She was their faithful and very loving companion till she was 8 years old and they divorced. Neither of them took her. They were going to have her put to sleep. I took her. I have had her for almost 5 years now and I love her desperately. I think I overcompensate for the way she was rejected; I hope she never knew what actually happened, how she came to be mine.

I have spent the last few years tending to her various medical needs, breaking the bank on more than one occasion. She has had an emergency hysterectomy, and an eye replacement surgery. Her meds cost more than mine do! Without insurance! But I love her and would give her my arm if she needed it! I got her in the best physical condition she had been since she was a puppy. She runs and plays with my other dogs; she wags her little nub of a tail till you'd think it would fall off! She is joy!

Well about a week ago I noticed the mass getting bigger, I had had it checked in the past and was told it was a fatty cyst and that it shouldn't bother her. I believed that until I was bathing her and felt how big it had become. When we went to the vet they took an X-Ray of her (she is small and fits her whole little self on one film). We saw the mass, it was still unattached and had not invaded anything else. Her lungs were clear, heart sounded good. We scheduled the surgery to have it removed; she should tolerate this without problem. We also scheduled her to have her teeth cleaned while under anesthesia. She would be better than new!

This morning I requested to see a vet, the snippy little girl behind the counter told me "oh well they will evaluate her before surgery" My husband took her out of my arms and just stood back...he knew what was about to take place. I took a deep breath and made my request again...this little girl looked at me and said that there really wasn't a need cause they would evaluate her before surgery. She obviously didn't hear me. I cleared my throat. "Okay I'm sure you just don't understand me...I need to see a vet now. Is that clear enough for you?" SHE ROLLED HER EYES! That was it! At the top of my lungs, hands on the counter, 4 other people in the office...I erupted! "Look little girl if I don't get to see a vet in the next 30 seconds I'm going to have to get loud, I am not here for your attitude I am here cause my dog needs help! Now get someone smarter than you out here and take me back to see the vet NOW!" She walked into the back but I could already hear the stomps for a few people coming up to the front office. I was taken back by the vet herself and apologized to profusely.

She listened to Sherri’s breathing and said "you are right to be worried it doesn't sound good" They took her back for an X-Ray and came back with 2 films in hand, my heart dropped, there was a change. There were 16 new tumors. There was one the size of a tangerine next to her heart, were there had been no sign of one last week. Her lungs were filled with tumors and fluid. She was dying. The vet told me she had never seen anything as aggressive ever before. Sherri's lungs were clear and perfect last week, now she could only take in about a cup of air at a breath.
I fell to pieces, my husband teared up, the vet teared up. She told us to take her home and make her comfortable, give her whatever she wanted, pasta, chicken, cookies, whatever would make her happy. She gave us Lasix for the fluid in her lungs and a strong pain killer, she told us to bring her back when it was time. I asked how long we would have with her. She told me it would be less than 2 weeks given the aggressive nature of her illness. My baby is leaving.

She spent the rest of today sleeping on my chest, eating BBQ chicken (her favorite) and licking our faces. I know she knows what is happening; I know the other dogs know as well. I think she is trying to tell us that she is okay, and thanking us for loving her. She has always been a very sweet dog, she never does anything "bad". She taught my middle dog to go outside in one day...it had already taken me 2 years! I owe her everything. She is sleeping peacefully now in our bed next to my husband. Not snoring like usual, just resting peacefully. I pray that she is not in any pain and that we can make her last few days with us happy for her. I am grateful that I am home and can spend all my time with her, so she knows she is not alone.

Hug your fur babies my friends, kiss their little faces and thank them for being them!

Thank you for reading.

Jcbelle · 10-01-2003, 08:57 AM

I am so sorry to hear this. I myself, am a pet lover and that news would kill me too. I cried when I read your story because it reminded me of my cat. She was an absolute terror, but she was mine. We had to get rid of her due to the fact that she was peeing on the bed all the time. I thought maybe is was an infection or something and took her to the vet numerous times with no avail. I think I cried for three days straight when we got rid of her. Just be strong for your little baby, she needs it.

Proudmommaoftwo · 10-01-2003, 11:06 AM

Thank you for sharing your story, even though it must have been very hard for you to type out. It is a good reminder that life is short, for everyone, and we should all remember to let all of our love ones know everyday how much we love them.

My pup has one of those fatty cysts under her belly too. I'm going to watch it very closely.

I pray your baby is in minimal pain, and that your last few days are filled with love and joy. I'm so sorry.

KlassicalKat · 10-01-2003, 11:48 AM

(((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))
to you Dara! I cried, too when I read your story.

What a special furbaby Sherri is. Bless you for making her last days comfortable.

Good for you for yelling at that idiot girl behind the counter!
I am going to be switching veterinarians because of that very reason. Whenever I have taken my cat to the vet, I have come home more upset than I should be. I finally figured it out that it is the piss poor attitude of the girls behind the counter. When I has to take my Snowy cat in for potential surgery for a mouth injury, they were behind the counter, ignoring me and then being rude to me....cracking their gum and filing their fingernails!

I told the vet (she is an old family friend) and she claimed that she talked to them about their attitude, yet the next time I went in there it was the same.

You are already under enough stress when you take a sick or injured animal to the vet and don't need to be insulted by bimbos like that!

I plan on going to another vet that we have gone to in emergencies when mine was closed where the receptionists have always been kind and courteous. Businesses have to realize how much counter people make a difference.

So sorry for all you are going through. Would like to write more, but my son needs the computer for schoolwork!

Kathryn

daculadawg1 · 10-01-2003, 04:10 PM

i'm praying for you. may god help you and your family.
lol and hugs
linda m

Sabbatath · 10-01-2003, 10:14 PM

I'm so sorry hear about Sherri. It's good that you are home with her and can take care of her and she knows how loved she is.

When we moved here, we had to leave our older dog Sammy with my parents. He was a German shepard/lab/retriever mix and the most loving dog. Anyhow, he was about 13 years old, and he got some kind of tumor on his foot, my dad called and told me about it and that the vet had removed it and everything seemed fine. A few weeks later, after my birthday, My dad called and told me Sammy was put to sleep the week before! They didn't want to upset me and ruin my birthday.

Well, I am not sure but that was worse, to find out a week later! They had good intentions though. I felt so bad, that I wasn't there for him in the end. Apparently, even though they got the tumor on his foot, it was too late and it had spread all through the poor thing's body. We had had him since he was about 6 weeks old, and he had grown up with my kids. When I am able to go back to visit, I keep expecting him to come to the door still, and he died about 2 or 3 years ago. I came across a picture of him today, and I miss him so much.

Anyhow, you and Sherri are very lucky to be able to be together for her last days. I wish you the best for the hard days ahead.

(((((((((HUGS))))))))) for you and Sherri.

Lendi · 10-02-2003, 10:59 AM

Dara, I'm so very sorry. I did give my fur babies a hug after reading this. My first thought, as I read this, was how lucky Sherri was to have found such a good and loving home. My thoughts quickly changed to how lucky you were to have been able to love Sherri and have her live with you. She does, indeed sound very special. I know that she has lived a full life, now I pray that she leaves life peacefully.

DaraRocks · 10-04-2003, 10:27 AM

First of all...Thank you to everyone for the thoughts, hugs, and understanding. It is a comfort to know that there were people thinking of her, she was a wonderful baby girl.

Yes, was. She is gone.

Sheri took a turn for the worse on Monday, I was afraid she wouldn't make it through the night. I slept with her on my chest, laying on the floor, holding her. I called Scott's little sister yesterday and told her that she might want to rethink coming down on Friday to see Sheri and that we were probably going to have to have her put down in the morning. She came here at 8:30am and we all spent some time with the Buddha (her nick name from when she was sooo big ) and then got in the car. We got into the vet's office and told them that we had no appointment but that we needed to put Sheri down today. They asked if we wanted to pay up front so we could just leave when we were done, we did. (so kind of them to think of the money!! We went back in the room and laid Sheri's blanket on the stainless table and we proceeded to love all over her. The doctor came in and told us that she sounded bad, we know. He reassured us that we were doing the right thing. (I knew but it was still the hardest thing I have ever had to do) With that the tech attempted to move in, I stopped him and said I would hold off her leg. I did not want her to be held by a stranger for her very last moments on Earth. I needed to know she was not afraid and that she could feel my heart beating next to her. I took her in my arms and held out her paw, the doc looked up at me and asked if I was a tech, no. He found the vein and gave her the injection. She slipped silently away in a less than 5 seconds. I kissed her and thanked her for being such a wonderful dog. We all cried and held each other. I picked her up and Scott took the blanket off the table, we wanted to keep it. I again kissed her Berry face and said a few quiet words to her. I placed her back on the table and walked out.
Sheri is gone, the house feels different, it is very sad. I need to dismantle her beds. I'm not sure if I can look at them for much longer. I wish she was here, I wish she was healthy. This is hard. I miss the Buddha. I haven't cried this hard in years. I haven't hurt like this in years. I felt cheated, I thought we would have more time.
I spoiled her rotten over the few short days we had her. We got her all her favorite people foods. I fired up the grill and made her pork chops for lunch on Monday She loved it! She had a cheese burger from Burger King for dinner...ate the whole thing! I decided to let her have the one thing I know I would want during my last days...reses peanut butter cups! SHE LOVED THEM!!! I knew she would! Each morning she woke up to a cereal bowl of cut up Puperoni, her favorite treat. She love that too!
I know the other girls knew, the snuggled together all day. It was both the sweetest thing, and the saddest thing I have ever seen. I loved and hated it. My heart is broken. No one snores in the bedroom anymore. None barks for no reason at all anymore. I don't have anyone who needs medicine, who needs their eyes and ears cleaned everyday. I don't need to keep the q-tips in the living room anymore. Today I vaccumed and Pinky(the baby) didn't have her Berry to run to, scared from the sound. Pinky spent much of the day sleeping in Sheri's bed. It was sad. We are different, she made us different. She made a difference, that's great. She taught me not to overlook someone because they are older or can't do everything a young someone can. She taught me to not underestimate anyone. She taught me that it is possible to fall in love with someone less than perfect. And that everyone deserves love. How rewarding it was to have such a wonderful lady in my life. Worth all the heartache and tears. I am so very grateful for her love. Thanks for reading all!
These pictures were taken by me of my girls as they spent most of the day Monday. Sorry they are so large.

Mandi-Lou · 10-04-2003, 11:22 AM

Dara (and your DH)

Let me firstly say, what wonderful 'puppy' parents you are!! And how lucky your pups are to have such a wonderful person like you to take care of them, when they are sick and when they are well.

I have just bawled my eyes out reading your post, and I feel for your loss of such an awesome dog.

I know what you are going through, I had to put my pup down as well, she was my best friend, I had her for 7 years before we had to have her put to rest.

Big Hugs to you my cyster, remember the good times, and know that she will be watching over you!

Take care,
from a cyster that desparately needs a tissue!

Hugs
Mandi
xxx

Youkai · 10-04-2003, 03:41 PM

I hope you're doing alright. I'm still having problems dealing with dog's passing recently. (Don't know where else to post this...)

She was sick for a long time. We made the choice to put her down, and she died that night, in her sleep.

She most certainly knew what was going on. The last few weeks before she died, she was extremely cuddly (weird because she was sort of an aloof dog) and almost laid back.

The night she died, she whined until I put her on my bed. Around 2:30AM she woke me up and whined until I let her down. Around 5AM, our other pointer woke me up barking pawing and crying until I follwed her upstairs to Star.

It's just about the hardest thing I've ever been through. At least I know I kept her comortable, and it sounds like you showed your dog a lot of love while you had her too.

Lendi · 10-05-2003, 11:33 AM

I hope you are starting to feel better. My heart is breaking with yours. I'm glad that when the decision was made all happened quickly and peacefully. I'm sure Sheri is playing in heaven, pain free romping and running around and making the angels smile.

taah · 10-05-2003, 06:51 PM

I am so sorry you lost your fur baby. I cried while reading your story. It shows how much you loved her and I know she loved you too. I am glad you got to spoil her during her last days and were able to help her be more comfortable. I hope you start feeling better soon. Its so hard to lose a member of the family and yes I believe our fur babies are members of our family.

((((((((HUGS))))))))))

daughty · 10-10-2003, 07:35 AM

Dara, so sorry hearing about your loss. I know that losing a pet means losing a member of the family.

I just wanted to tell you that you're a great dog parent and that you can be proud of yourself, you did so much for Sheri and gave her the best possible life. I'm sure she knew and appreciated that.

Steph

PaulaMc · 10-10-2003, 10:49 AM

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I have heard people say that animals are just pets; that they don't mean as much as humans. Every time I hear that I want to scream. I have 4 furry kids of my own. I would be devastated if anything happened to any of them! My prayers are with you.