jojo44

I have severe PCOS - every symptom possible. I did manage to squeeze out two kids (although very far apart). Now my older sister wants my eggs, which I didn't mind giving, but I have become very afraid of the risks especially with PCOS. her fertility doctor is very one-sided and hasn't really given a flying S-H-** about my health as the donor at all. She just checked my blood levels for the LH or whatever, that was good so who cares about anything else. No one has done a physical, no one has checked my blood pressure, looked at my ovaries...nothing!! Should I be risking my health, my ovaries my life for this??? I'm very afraid and confused. help!! I'm going to see my doctor tonight for another opinion.

kpbubbles

I think that's wonderful that you are willing to donate them if your body can handle it. I would for sure go see another doctor that will just be looking at you and can tell you if you can physically handle it. And if that answer is yes than I would also go see a counselor to help you make up your mind, it sounds so easy to say yes but it's apart of you and you need to talk it through with someone that you don't feel will judge you if somewhere deep inside it doesn't feel like the right think to do. I think it would be a wonderful gift to give your sister but you must make sure you can handle it physically and emotionally as well. Good luck to you!!

jojo44

hi, yes it was very easy to say yes, but now it has become very convulated - and I mean emotionally. many things to consider, not to mention my sister is now harrassing me and rushing things. She actually told me to 'keep it simple' with the counsellor, so she's making me angry and resentful that I can't go through the proper channels to figure out if it will be alright should she get a child from my egg. She is being very self-centered about it... I'm trying to get over that and just go back to wanting to help, but it's very hard. I'm sure if I back out she'll hate me forever. Not to mention I really do want her to have a child...so I don't want to back out... I'm just confused, her behaviour has been dispicable.

Franca

Sounds like you need to have a frank talk with her and tell her what you're comfortable with and that you'd like to go through all the right check-ups, etc. Emphasize that you have PCOS and may need special care from the doctor that stimulates you and want to be fully sure that doing this won't mess with your health going forward.

Once she's on the right page with you, then you need to have a frank talk with her doctor. Find out what you should expect step-by-step as an egg donor, and then if PCOS adds any complications.

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shells08

i think u are perfectly right to want to get a second opinion and to really think things through before going ahead. as much as u want to help ur sister, and as much as she wants, this, u have to consider all sides. u have to go through many injections and doctors visits, risk ur own fertility, and know that u have a biological child out there that is not ur own. the psychological trauma alone is something to think about. if u think u can and are willing to go through this, then more power to u! have a heart to heart with ur sister and explain these things, she may not be in the right mindset to think about u right now. best of luck with everything, and i hope that whatever decision u come to is the right one for u!

mcoreen

I think you should see your own doctor and see a counsellor. I think I would do this in a heartbeat for my sister as well if she were in this situation, but would need the time to process everything and how I would deal with having a niece or nephew that is biologically my child. I think you need to have a heart to heart with your sister. Discuss how you feel and how important it is to you that this does not jeopordize your relationship with her or your health. You may want to tell her doctor that you are an individual with your own concerns and your own health issues and would appreciate not being rushed so that you can make an informed decision. If you feel like your being treated like a commodity that is not right at all.

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Aymen

I think you should sit down with your Sister and tell her how you're feeling. You're giving her the most wonderful gift and she doesn't seem to be thinking much of your feelings and seems unappreciated. She's probably freaking out on her side, but that doesn't give her the right to be insensitive and demanding towards you. If you are having mixed feelings about this, don't do it. You will need to be 100% sure that you WANT to do it. This is a very big thing to ask of someone and although you're Sisters, you don't have to do it if you don't feel comfortable with it.

If her Doctor isn't doing what you think he should be doing, then I suggest going to your own GP and getting yourself checked out. It's easier than having to switch her Doctor, since it seems he's already started on the process. If you can switch her Doctor though, it's probably for the best since he's suppose to have BOTH of you in mind during this procedure.

Good luck!
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Ernest (EJ)
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Aymen
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jojo44

it would break my heart forever to say no, but I'm afraid. this is the worst dillema ever. we are in canada, there is a specific clinic we go to for fertility, and there is no monetary compensation for donors, (which is fine with me) and there is no anesthetic during the retrieval (monsters).

one-hit_wonder

Oh my gosh, I hope you and your sister can work things out. It sounds like a slippery slope that you're on. You have every right to make your own health your #1 concern.
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On bcp and Suprefact

Sept 12: Start Puregon (175 units)
Sept 17: U/s

Purple_monkfish

What a wonderful thing to do for your sister! I'd definitely be seeing another doctor to make sure this isn't going to be dangerous to your health as well though, after all, i'm sure your sister would be devistated if something happened during the procedure right?

Perhaps she doesn't realise how pushy she's being? I think a frank discussion is in order for you both to discuss not only the risks but also to discuss how both of you feel about everything.

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VM83

I think it depends on where you are. Im canadian as well and we had looked into it with me, if ttc doesn't work them my sister said she will donate eggs or carry with her egg and my dh sperm. and we both would gt 15weeks med leave, its depends on what your doctor says on your leave paper you give to both you boss and hrdc

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Veronica
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jojo44

leave would be helpful, both for my anxiety level (which is delaying the procedure until I'm coping as they say) and with the time off I'll need for the procedure. what does the doc have to put on the leave form??

VM83

as long as your doctor puts you on medical leave, sends a note or scrip to your employer then when he gives you your ROE is shoud say medical leave. HRDS may not eaven want and roe from you employer as long as you have a doctors note saying you need your leave. I know here you can get 15weeks paid medical leave, then again if you can get your doctor to put you out on stress leave most places its 6mnts go to your local hrds or service canada and get information

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Veronica
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Tamia

Personally I couldn't do it. The baby would always be my child, and I couldn't give my child away.

Especially with things being nasty now, it just sounds like a bad idea. The physical (and mental) health issues are real. I wouldn't do anything unless you were 100% positive that you could live with the consequences.

When I was considering the idea that I might never have biological kids of my own I knew I would rather get donor eggs or sperm if we needed them, than go to family. I couldn't take a baby away from family either...
I tried to look at it from the bright side and imagine that at least I'd get to pick "my perfect" gametes.

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TTC #2

ME (29)
DH (31)
DD (1)

Currently Taking:
Spearmint tea (mentha spicata)
Metformin 1500mg/day
Clomid 100mg CD 4-8

DD was conceived on CD45 after giving up on 100mg clomid and not taking provera like I usually would have while TTC. I now believe that PCOS can slow the body's reaction to hormones like clomid. WAIT TWO MONTHS before starting another cycle of clomid!!! Don't give up too soon, give that little baby a chance to implant!
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VM83

I see your point, but going with family at least its still part f you. Blood charactera nd all may not be yours but its still part of you

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Veronica
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