My Story- Need Some Encouragement!

LaurenElizabeth1982 · 04-26-2009, 10:35 AM

Hi all,
I’m new to this site and new to PCOS in general. I’d like to share my story with all of you in hopes that you can provide me with some much needed support and encouragement.

I’m 26 years old and with no past pregnancies. My husband and I decided a few months ago to come off of BCP and begin trying for our first baby. It was not long before we realized my periods were extremely irregular. We were referred to a fertility specialist and I was diagnosed with PCOS March 3, 2009.

The doctor asked me to start Prometrium the same day to induce a period in March. He also started me on Metformin, 850mg twice a day. I began my MP on March 15. I saw the doctor again at the beginning of April and let him know I was tolerating the medicine well. He advised me to continue with my current protocol and gave me instructions to start Clomid in May. He did ask me to take an HPT before starting the Clomid “just in case.”

I took an HPT this week (4/23) and was ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED to find a BFP! I took another one and got another positive result. My DH and I were on cloud nine! We could hardly believe we were pregnant with just the Metformin, and on the first month taking it at that! I called the dr. immediately to get a blood test and tested with hcg of 155. The nurse asked me to come back in yesterday (Saturday 4/25) to take another blood test and ensure my hcg was increasing. She also called the same day to let us know the tests my husband took last week had GREAT results and everything was WAY above normal for him! Great news all around! She started me on a prenatal vitamin and progesterone suppositories twice a day immediately. She advised me to stay on the Metformin.

She called yesterday afternoon to let me know my hcg had fallen to 127 in under 48 hours and that I was miscarrying. Needless to say, I was crushed. It was very early on, but is still so hard. It has truly been an emotional roller coaster.

As I wait for my hcg levels to fall back down to 0 on their own and hopefully begin another cycle on May 15 where I will start Clomid on Day 3 (the nurse said I probably won’t have to have a D&C but that they will monitor my hcg levels weekly to ensure they’re decreasing), can anyone provide encouragement/support for similar situations you’ve been in? I will remain on the Metformin. Of course, all the reading I’m doing on the Internet is discouraging. I am scared I’ll never be able to conceive again and I’m even more scared I’ll never carry a baby to full term. I was pregnant for two days for the first time ever this week and I can’t tell you how wonderful it felt. I would just love that opportunity for a happy and healthy 9 months.

I know God’s timing is perfect and there is a reason for all this, but it’s so hard not to get discouraged.
Thanks for reading and listening everyone! I look forward to your advice and encouragement.

All the best to everyone with baby hopes, and my thoughts and prayers go out to you!!!

wannabamama · 04-26-2009, 03:16 PM

So sorry to hear about your loss. It is a very frightining road that I think many of us are still trying to navigate. I know that I would like to have another child, and right now I am finding comfort from my DH, family, pastor, and just praying. I'm hoping that God will bless me with another child and help each day of grieving to become less and less.

I'm slated to begin a new cycle with injections as soon as AF shows her head. I'm a bit ambivalent with the situation, but I ultimately believe that I will go through it again. I agree that God has a purpose, somethimes that I don't understand. I would have loved to have that baby in my arms on October 28, 2009, but God knew otherwise for me. Just stay around positive people in your life, grieve how and when you need to, but don't move forward hoping to "replace" your baby. I acknowledge that my baby was a baby - NOT to be replaced, but remembered always. If anything, my m/c has brought my relationship with DH closer, and my sensitivities to others and their time of grieving ot a better place. I had so many insensitive people act as if them/c didn't even occur. Good luck to you, and I know that you will be blessed.

We also have a TTC after a loss thread in the TTC section, so come and join us.

dstaiger · 04-26-2009, 08:38 PM

i know there is nothing anyone can say to console you right now. i'm sorry seems so small, but i am sorry that your TTC journey began with heartache.

my story is similar.
my first pregnancy was an accident. i m/c and did not try again for 10 years. my second round of clomid i o'd and got my BFP. that was my first cycle with met.

i know it's not exactly the same, and you have no intentions of waiting ten years, but with help you have a great chance of conceiving again (and quickly). it's so encouraging that you o'd with just the met.

dianna

SheriKCMO · 04-27-2009, 12:30 AM

I'm so sorry about your loss! I think the fact that you conceived so soon after starting metformin is a huge positive for the future. I would also suggest making sure you've had a really good period and maybe even two before expecting to conceive again. Even these brief pregnancies can do strange things to our system. [It can also help to grieve a little more before getting pregnant.]

I had a late loss, but then I had a very early loss like yours and lost all hope. Three months later I was pregnant with a very sticky one who brought me back to the land of the living. I had another one 12 months later.

There is hope!!

(((Hugs)))

R0xyg4l · 04-27-2009, 02:10 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Though they say women with PCOS have a terribly hard time of getting pg and having a baby, what I find inspirational is all the women I see here on SC that have conceived and went on to have healthy babies. It can happen. Even though you may be discouraged... keep trying. As I've heard more times then I care to that 1/4 pregnancies end up in m/c for any woman despite the medical conditions. Unfortunately, this time you may have been that one. Best of luck!

LaurenElizabeth1982 · 06-07-2009, 10:38 AM

Hi all,
I miscarried naturally on 4/29 and have yet for AF to arrive (today is 6/7). I've taken a HPT today and it was negative. The doctor told us to wait until I had one more normal cycle to try again so we have been using protection. However, my body feels terrible- swollen breasts, hormones are crazy, etc.

I know my HCG levels are negative because the blood test I took on 5/2 showed them at 5.

What were your experiences with starting again after you miscarried? I'm trying to be patient but my body feels awful and of course I am ready to try again as soon as I can. I've thought of calling the doctor and asking him to give me something to kickstart AF but think I may just need to wait a couple more weeks (I have an appt on 6/18).

Thanks all!!

dstaiger · 06-07-2009, 05:00 PM

i'm still waiting to start ttc again. i m/c on 4/21 and got my first af sort of on 5/28. i say sort of b/c it was 2 days of on and off, went away, then came back on 6/1 for real. its still here. my RE wants me to wait exactly two months so uterus can shrink and my lining can grow. 6/21 i start and i'm so impatient! there is a group of us ttc after loss on TTC buddies come on over and wait with us.

dianna