My turn

Meyalleleth · 01-02-2006, 07:43 PM

I was diagnosed with PCOS about 2 months ago. My DR gave me Yasmin to manage it, and that was about it... no info, really. So I was trying to find a good doc around here, got frustrated with that and decided to see an old family doc I've loved that's out of town despite the travel and cost. He prescribed Lexapro for me a few years ago, but I stopped taking it (and found out we came off of it waaay too fast.. eek.) because I didn't think I needed it.

Anyway, so now I'm back on BCPs after a year 'n a half, and suddenly my depression and anxiety are full blown. I don't care about anything! I'm hoping that on the way to work, I'll get myself into a wreck... not cuz I wanna die, but because I want to have an excuse for not being able to do anything. And I'm wondering if it's truly a "condition" this time or if I'm just letting everything get to me. I mean, my grandmother has rheumatoid arthritis and it's getting really bad... plus, she is an ex-alcoholic and tends to pop pills... right now, Xanax. She's a mess, and we don't know how much longer she will be able to stay home. My grandfather left her a couple years ago for the cleaning lady, and now he's a lost cause... hardly even acknowledges us. My parents are struggling financially, and my mom cannot find a job even though she's been running a business at home for 20+ years. And me? Well, my hubby has been unemployed for 3 months.. can't find a job. My job doesn't pay me enough (but about the same as all other hospitals nearby) and they work me to death sometimes.. then not at all. I know I hit the bottom yesterday too. One of my coworkers wanted to split a shift yesterday, and I agreed, but I got confused about the "when" and ended up not being in town for my half. I've never done that!! Now I'm freaking out because I don't want to show my face at work (they didn't sound upset.. just worried.. )... I'm really scared here. Part of me wants to be "medicated" again, but part of me remembers what that was like and resists it.

This just sucks.

nicole47 · 01-02-2006, 08:12 PM

*hugs!*
If you don't want to try medication, I STRONGLY recommend cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety. This form of therapy gives you tools to stop your body's reaction to anxiety and to get your rational mind back in control. Many CBT clinics offer free or sliding scale help, especially if you're willing to participate in a study. CBT changed my life and made me a much calmer person overall, even outside of the situations I was getting treated for.

Also, you may want to switch to a different type of BCP. I know that I went crazy when the pharmacy swtiched my brand from Alesse to something else.

It sounds like you're going through a really tough period of your life right now-- no wonder you're anxious. It WILL get better. Hang in there!

oaktreegirl · 01-03-2006, 02:47 AM

That sounds like a lot to deal with. *hugs* I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time.

I don't know a lot about medication, but I have heard that certain BCP's may increase depression in women with PCOS.

CBT sounds like a great idea. If that's not possible, speaking to a regular therapist may also help. For me, therapy has helped a lot with staying calm.

camarofanatic90 · 01-03-2006, 02:57 AM

Just wanted to say Hugs and I am here for you if need be

Meyalleleth · 01-03-2006, 11:23 PM

I'll have to look into CBT.

Thank you everybody! I'm actually feeling better today... and at work, all they did was tease me a little about being out of town for my shift. Apparently one of the supervisors is notorious for being in NY instead of at work.