Need advice about a job

Hope1142005 · 08-11-2005, 01:04 AM

Ok. I dont know if this is pcos related or not. So i thought i would ask to see if anyone else has ever went through this before. I havent had a public job since 2001. Ive been babysitting all this time. Well recently i have gotten myself into some credit card trouble and the babysitting just isnt getting them paid off. I never have any extra cash to buy new cloths & that kinda thing. Anyway i told my cousin last night that i needed to stop babysitting her son ( that i love dearly ) because i needed to look for a regular job so i could make more money & get my credit cards payed off. She said she totally understood and since she recently changed shifts, she doesnt need a sitter anymore. So that worked out great. Other than the fact ive babysit Levi since he was born & i have him more than his parents & its breaking my heart that ive got to stop keeping him.
Anyway here is my biggest problem. Im scared to death to go looking for a job. Im so nervous & so scared. I feel like ive been passed over for jobs before because of my weight. And i hate being seen in public because of my weight. And so far everywhere ive always worked, ive been the biggest person there. I feel so bad. I always feel like someone is looking at me or laughing at me behind my back. So im NOT looking forward to looking for a job & starting a new job. When im working im always in a bad mood & on edge. Because im dreading going to work. I cant enjoy my off days because im thinking about going back to work. Its a horrible feeling. Ive got to get a job because of the money situation. As im sure everyone knows by now, i have NO self-esteem what so ever. Im very shy & dont make friends very easy. I coudnt sleep last night because im so worried about all of this stuff. I dont know how to handle it. Ive cried so much that ive got a bad headache that wont go away. I dozed off a few times last night & i would wake up feeling like i was going to be sick to my stomach and i know its nerves. I feel so stupid & childish. Im NOT a lazy person and its not that i dont want to work. Im always up doing house work or yard work or something. Im not afraid of hard work. I just dont know what to do or how to make all this go easier. Has anyone else ever went through this before???? If so how do you deal with it??? any advice would help more than you can imagine. thanks in advance

Constance · 08-11-2005, 01:20 AM

I totally feel for you. I have been there. It is so nerve racking even thinking of job hunting.
I dread new bosses, interviews, all that jazz. All I can tell you is put on your best outfit or go buy a new one, put on your makeup and fix your hair look in the mirror and tell your self how beautiful you are! You can do anything!!!!! Ask around about jobs with friends and family, applie every place even if they are not hiring. One of the guys i work with would actually make a fake resume just so he could practice interviewing. YOU CAN NOT TAKE A JOB IF OFFERED! But it is good practice! Any how as far as you feeling self consience or down on your self maybe you can get a job at a call center. I work in an office that i do not deal with the public at all! The only people that see me are the folks i work with! Just think that most people are not judging you and to wrapped up in there own dramas to think or talk bad about you. I hope that helps.

jlbrown122 · 08-11-2005, 01:37 AM

{{{HUGS}}} Hope. Just concentrate on your abilities and your skills. A neat, clean appearance and your job qualifications are the most important thing on a job interview. Good luck!

Hope1142005 · 08-11-2005, 01:39 AM

Constance

Thanks for the advice. It seems that you know exactly what im going through. Its the worst feeling ever. I am not good at all with change. My husband is also very shy, so he understands what im going through. And he has been crying with me today. He keeps telling me that he wishes he was rich so i didnt have to work. He got a big promotion right after we got married & now his company has decided they are going to bid off his job. He could get to keep it & then again he could lose it to someone else. If the company went according to how people worked or cared about there job, my husband would get it with no problem. But like alot of other places the company he works for is really bad at giving there little buddies the jobs even though they have no idea whats going on. Plus my husband is going back to school again. He went to college for 3 years & then stopped. So he has decided now that he wants to go & finish up his schooling. It wont take him to long but im very worried that with him working & going to school & then me going to work, we will never get to see each other. That is very important to us both. We want every second we can get togather & im afraid its going to cause problems. This worrying is really taking a toll on me. Thanks again for the advice.

Hope1142005 · 08-11-2005, 01:43 AM

jibrown122
thanks for the gift. that was very sweet of you. the skills part is something else im worried about. alot of people i know are good at everything. others i know are good at a few things and others are good at one thing. but i havent found anything yet that im good at. i went on an interview back last year at a walmart. i froze up & didnt know what to say. i was sweating like crazy. it was unreal. and of course i didnt get the job. i just wish i wasnt so shy and had a little self esteem. it would make this alot easier.

jlbrown122 · 08-11-2005, 01:54 AM

Hope - Maybe it would help if you made a list of all of your positive qualities. Get dh to help you. It sounds like he is really supportive of you, which is always a good thing. Since you have been babysitting, you might want to look for a job at a daycare. You know you are good at childcare, and you might have more confidence trying something you are good at. A friend of mine that works at a daycare says they are always looking for substitutes to fill in when one of the workers is sick or on vacation. She said the substitutes then are top choice when they have an open position. I will be praying that you will find the right job for you.

I remember how hard job interviews were for me too. Sometimes I would freeze up and not know what to say, and other times I was more relaxed. The more interviews you have, the easier it will get.

nelli · 08-11-2005, 02:04 AM

(((HUGS)))) Im so sorry for what you are going through. I know after all this time it must be really weird finding a public job. It happened to me as well. I babysat all my life before I had my first real job at Burger King when I was 17. Before that I babysat for this girl for 1 1/2 years and I was devasted when she moved away because I had her kids more than she did. Anyways, it was really hard and scary for me to get an outside job because I was so used to babysitting. Please hun, don't let the way you feel about yourself get in the way of you finding a job. I know it hurts to have people talk about you and just even the thought that someone is talking about you must be scary but you know what, who cares what they think? No one is perfect. Also you must present confidence in yourself when you are in front on a potential employer, let them know and feel that you are worthy of that position. Good luck to you honey, I know its scary but trust in YOURSELF and have confidence that you can go out and find a job without no worries. Dont let anyone get in the way of you being successful and accomplishing your goals and dreams.

heather090702 · 08-11-2005, 03:15 AM

(((HUGS))) I feel exactly the same! People think I am crazy for thinking I have been passed over for jobs because of my weight.

I have done extremely well with temp agencies. When they send you to a job, the place has no choice but to trian you and you have the ability to show them you are an excellent worker and they will see beyond the weight. Every temp job I have had has resulted in me either being offered the job or me accepting a permanent position. Perhaps that would work for you too!

Good luck! Keep us posted!

Heather

nelli · 08-11-2005, 03:22 AM

You know I never thought to mention temp jobs, that is a great idea. I think that if you start going to temp agencies and signing up with them for work, it would be a good start. Like Heather said, you get called for a job and you and show them that you can do the job and excel in it and they won't even worry about how much you weigh.

Hope1142005 · 08-11-2005, 11:40 AM

Thanks for much for the positive advice. I hadnt thought of temp places either. I think we have one here in our tiny little town. I think i will go there first & see what they can do for me before i go get tons of applications & start that wonderful process of filling out & waiting. I got a little more sleep last night. I guess because i was just so tired from not sleeping the night before. I keep thinking, i wonder how normal people feel. I wish i was normal & could go out & apply for jobs and not worry about being nervous & things like that. My husband is the same way i am but he isnt overweight, he is just shy. But he is nervous for me. I thought that was sweet. he knows what im going through & he knows how bad it feels so he is nervous for me. thanks again everyone.

nelli · 08-11-2005, 12:55 PM

Hope, you are normal, your just nervous. I'm pretty sure we all get that way at some point when looking for jobs. Good luck with the temp agency, its a start and hopefully it will get you somewhere. Its good to hear that you got some sleep last night, you needed it. Your DH seems like he is a good guy, he really loves and cares for you and takes on your feelings as if they were his own. I pray everything goes well for you hun.

Constance · 08-11-2005, 02:43 PM

No such thing as normal. All people are crazy! haha.
But your story is so much like mine it is crazy!!! Dh lost his job about 2 1/2 years ago, decided to go back to school. I was not working and being a SAHM! So we sold our home, moved into a little bitty trailer and got on with life. I went thru 2 jobs to get this one. First i worked for Cingular for about 6 months it was not bad but people can be mean and the hours sucked!
So went to work for a doctor. Not my first love but i a know about insurance, medical records and so forth. i worked there for 3 months and then this job which i had interviewed for in the begining was offered to me! I took it as it is low stress, high pay, and great benifits. I like the people i work with, none of them are judgemental at all. Dh just finished school in May got an awesome Job (same company as me Hhehehe) and we just bought another house!
We have worked hard to clean up our dept (never to do again). It was hard on us but well worth it.
I know you can do it and just think of the end results. God gives us challenges in life so it wont be boring. You can do it!!!

Elaineno10 · 08-11-2005, 02:52 PM

You can do it. I have fell into that before so I do understand. You will be alright, just try and keep you chin up. You have the support of your sweet hubby and us. Just let your future employer know what a grea employee you are and go for it!!!

Sincerely,

Elaine

coree · 08-11-2005, 03:11 PM

You should talk to your Doctor, he may be able to give you something to help with the anxiety of being in social situations. If you want to go the pill route. My doctor put me on Paxil for my depression, but it is also used to treat social anxiety disorder..in higher doses. I did find however that alot of my 'needless' worrying got a lot easier to control and i also found it easier to stop worrying what everyone was thinking of me. Now this is just my experience, I don't know how it affects everyone, but it might be something to think about. You shouldn't have to go through life being stressed over work, especially on your days off!
Take care! and Good Luck!

Coree

guineapig · 08-11-2005, 03:18 PM

I've got an idea too...how about a teachers aide in a public school? The pay is "ok" (lower side) BUT you get weekends, holidays, and summers off. Plus you leave at 3:30 every day. You qualify for the same benefits as teachers too--health insurance for us PCOS gals is always a plus. In GA you can get a 'certificate' to do the job by either 1) graduating high school and then taking the state's dinky written test or 2) having any kind of college degree, even associates. Then you go and look for the jobs. Usually the position is called "paraprofessional." Grades pre-K to 12 hire them around here, usually in special ed, but most of the kids aren't incapacitated, just a little slow in learning to read/math. My DH did this last school year to get the insurance. Not fantastic money by far, but he didn't have to commute 50 miles or work weekends or work all night like his other crud "food" or "business" jobs etc. Plus, here you accumulate 1.5 sick days/month & 2 personal leave days per year in addition to the usual "school vacations." Good luck...