need help making my hubby understand

music · 06-22-2004, 03:16 PM

I was just given the offical word of PCOS last week. Very happy about it, but I think my poor husband is in the dark. I have tried to explain things to him, but I think he is still confused. We have not even talked about TTC - that is many years from now. I mainly want him to understand that PCOS affects everything, but I can't seem to find the words to tell him. Is there some website other than here that I can print something off for him to read - or any other suggestion you men might have.

TxHubby · 06-22-2004, 07:26 PM

Personally, this is the only site that I've been on, that deals with PCOS....but it is very informative, and helped me tremendously to better understand just what my DW was going through. I'm sure there are some other sites out there, but I don't know any offhand, so I can't help you much there. It might help, if the doctor who diagnosed you, has any information that you can get, and share with him.

It can seem a bit overwhelming, to learn about all of the possible affects of PCOS, but I think the most important thing is for you to talk with him about it, and just tell him everything that you've found out, and share all of the info. that you have about it. It's important that you can communicate with each other, and that he feels comfortable enough to ask you questions about it...and if there's some things that you don't know, maybe you could look them up together, and that would give you both a chance to learn things, at the same time, and share your opinions with each other. It's possible that this could even bring the two of you closer together....and strengthen the bond that you two share.

Good Luck, with whatever you decide to do...and hopefully he'll be understanding, and want to learn more about PCOS, so that he can better understand how it can affect you & what kinds of things you may have to deal with.

music · 06-22-2004, 08:03 PM

We talk about it, but I don't think he really understands all of it. Best example I can give you and this will be a little graphic. My breast are always tender, and I think that it has to do with the PCOS. Well being a man he wants to play with them - I will tell him they hurt and he will always say Why? I always tell him because of the PCOS, or hormones. I guess I feel like he is thinks this is going to just go away. Just in writing this I have realized there is alot we need to talk about. Let me ask you this Tx Hubby - what is the best way to explain this to a man

TxHubby · 06-23-2004, 02:30 PM

I think the best way is to just be totally honest & tell him everything that you know about PCOS...how it can affect you, what kinds of treatment you can/may use, just everything that you can possibly tell him about it. The more informed he is about it, probably the more comfortable he'll be with it.

Basically, my wife just told me everything that she knew, or had found out about it...she was my fiancee' at the time, but it definitely didn't change my opinion of her or make me love her any less...and honestly, even if she had told me on our first date, it wouldn't have mattered to me....but I know that everyone wouldn't feel the same way.

It's hard to really tell you what the best way would be, since I don't know him & what he's like...you kind of have to use your best judgement on that. If he's more likely to understand something that's written & put in front of his face, so that he can read it, then you might want to try that method, but if he's more likely to understand by listening to you, then you might just try to sit him down & talk to him about it. You are really the one who knows him best, so you kind of have to figure out what will get through to him the best...KWIM ??

FTR - my wife is the same way about her breasts....and even though I know this....I still have a bad habit of trying to touch them....so it's not just your husband.

But I am trying to get better about it...I think, as men, we're just programmed to think that a woman's breasts are an erogenous zone...they turn us(men) on, so we think that they should turn you (women) on as well....

music · 06-23-2004, 06:22 PM

We talked a little last night, but I could tell he did not want to talk about it. I brought up the fact that I might not be able to have a baby. He kept making jokes about it, which is his way of avoiding things. I know that about him, and accept. I will keep trying. Thanks for your thoughts on this. When I talked to him about my breasts and other things in that area, he was a little scared that I was talking about never having sex again. I have had PCOS for many many years, but got the offical word last week. Again thanks for everything you said.

TxHubby · 06-23-2004, 08:23 PM

No problem....I know it may not have been the most helpful advice, you'll ever get...but I tried !!

Seriously, though...I'd say just keep the lines of communication open. Let him know that if/when he's ready to talk about it some more, or ask you questions about it, then you'll be there to talk to him. Hopefully, eventually, he'll want to know everything about it, and he'll better understand what it is you're dealing with.

Direct him to this site, if you have to...it's where I got a lot of info as well...so it definitely helps us DH's as well as all you ladies.

Good Luck....and let me know if there's anything else I can do to help.