 In need of a lending ear(s)/support........
I am a newbie to the website and have been lurking around for a few days now. I am excited and on overload with all that I have read/learned.
I was diagnosed with PCOS at the age of 12. After my initial period I began having erratic periods, weight gain etc. I was placed on BCP's and nothing more said. My periods did become more regular while on the pill.
Fast forward to age 18. I brought this to my gyn and said it was nonsense. That I just needed to get off my obese butt and lose weight. I was very traumatized by his behavior. I thought maybe the pill was to blame for my incredible weight gain (303lbs on a 5'4" frame) so I stopped taking it. Soon after, no periods........increased weight, fatigue, hair on my chin and upper lip. I went to another gyn and was dismissed with the recommendation of weightloss and antidepressants.
I went on a very unhealthy low cal, low carb diet and lost a ton of weight. Soon after, I began to excercise and followed a healthier version of low glycemic diet and went down to 120lbs and maintained the weight for 5 years. During that time I got married and started to TTC to no avail. After a while, I went to a different gyn and was diagnosed with a bicornuate uterus and to go back home and keep trying.
My husband began to get inpatient, hurtful things were said and I decided to divorce as I didn't want to be married to someone who obviously married my reproductive system. I didn't want to continue to make him miserable and impeding his dream of a family.
Within the next few months my symptoms came back with a rage. I gained 70lbs in a year, painful acne, no periods for 6+ months despite my excercise and diet.
I have a wonderful boyfriend now, but have not found the courage to tell him my problems for fear of rejection, I guess. He wants something more serious and a family. I am so stressed out.
To make things extra 'special', I should mention I am a Neonatal Intensive Care nurse (NICU). I love my job like you couldn't believe. I am often requested by parents to care for their babies. I also do adult ICU and med-surg but nothing compares to my NICU passion. It is so rewarding. The problem is that lately I've become very depressed over parents who have unwanted children, no prenatal care, or demonstrate love for their child. It's hard not to be judgemental and want to ring some of their necks. I have to do deep breathing excercises and pray. I enjoy my babies (patients) especially as I see them grow and go home. Some parents they go home with make me nervous. I have thought about taking a break from NICU for a while to see if my mood gets better, but I just can't see myself doing it.
Anyhow, thank you for your lending ear(s). I appreciate the opportunity to let me write/vent about my issues and knowing there are MANY others on my boat.
God bless you all,
Jessie
Last edited by Swtnrs; 12-28-2008 at 04:01 PM.
Reason: half of my post was missing..
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there is a link to the newbie roadmap in my siggie for you
