I have been so close to giving up on everything lately. Since my car accident and becoming partially paralyzed, it seems like everything has gotten worse for me. I had to stop my treatments for PCOS because of conflicts with medications I take for complications from being paralyzed so my symptoms are getting bad again. Not only that but trying to learn to walk again is such a struggle and everyday I feel myself slipping further and further into that black hole of depression.... I can honestly say its the worst its been ever. I no longer look forward to getting up everyday because I know that everyday brings nothing but pain for me. I'm only partially paralyzed, so rather then no feeling at all, every movement, every jaring of my legs is painful, making learning to walk more pain than its worth at times. I have tried giving it up to God but I feel so abandoned sometimes even though I know in my head I'm not, that God is right there, experiancing every pain with me, helping me take every step. But trying to tell my heart that, its a whole nother story.
Sarah,
This world can be so cruel sometimes. It seems that if one thing doesn't get us another thing will. I am not very good at this myself-BUT- this may be your time to search your soul... seek out what IS positive in your life... The "positives" start with the fact that you survived your accident! That in itself is a miracle. The fact that your mind is still intact, and that you have the ability to communicate your feelings is another. You are already an inspiration to me. Yes- it sounds like you have some obstacles in your way right now... and you are hurting both physically and emotionally... take the time to feel sad or angry or defeated... and in time you will be ready to take on the world. Talk to someone and work through all your feelings- I am sorry that you are going through all of this- reach out to the cysters across the board... they won't disappoint you! Try and stay strong.
Karen
I don't know or understand what you are going through. The only thing I can say is please turn to God with all your feelings. He wants us to ask for help when we need it. Rely on Him to get you through this very difficult time. The only thing I know how to do for you is to pray so I will. I believe in the power of prayer.
Heavenly Father, I come to you in prayer for Sarah. Lord, she is hurting and struggling with the accident and her recovery. I pray that you will wrap yourself around her, protecting her. Please give her the peace and comfort she so needs at this time. Lord I pray you will reveal what your will is in all of this to Sarah. Show her what she has to look forward too. Lord I pray she will lean on You and Your Son Jesus Christ for all the strength she needs to recover fully. Please release her of these extra burdens and carry them for her. I pray in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.
I hope you are feeling better soon. Please pray and take care of yourself.
Keri
__________________ Keri (33)
DH Bill (36)
ttc #1 since8/98
Emma Grace born 8/1/2003
William, Robert and Andrew born 8/15/06
I tell you the truth, my Father will
give you whatever you ask in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. John 16:23-24
I just wanted to thank you guys for your prayers. I have been having a lot of depressive episodes lately and my doctor has once AGAIN changed my anti depressant dosage, hopefully that will help. I've also tried turning more of what i am feeling and having troubles with over to God and though I still have my moments, I seem like i can cope with them better. I admit, that since my dad died five years ago, i've been a little "angry" with God, and its been hard for me to renew my relationship with Him. I've struggled with my faith since then and i know that many friends of mine including my old youth pastor (who's like a surrogate dad to me) have been praying for my complete return to Jesus. I also pray that God may open my heart to Him more but there is still such a difficult struggle there for me that I'm trying to overcome. Does that make sence??
Sarah--You are in my thoughts and prayers. What a remarkably strong woman you are!!!
Take care,
Lisa
__________________
Happily married for 19 years & mommy to 3 beautiful daughters
~13 year old (born preemie @ 24 weeks), 5.5 year old & 3.5 year old (both born in China!)~
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Sarah - I don't know what you are going through, but I want you to know that I will pray for you.
I am not sure about the circumstances of your Father's passing, so I wanted to share my feelings about when my Father passed away on my birthday in 1995. I was very angry for the longest time and had a lot of rage inside of me. I wound up losing my job over my "obsession" and had difficulties with relationships. When I became a Christian in 2001 I still had anger towards God. I went to a Ladies Retreat and one of the things that I learned was that WE must forgive others if we want God to forgive us for our sins. So, I had to forgive my Dad for dying. And I had to ask for forgiveness for my anger. I feel that one reason why my Dad passed away was because I depended on him for everything instead of depending on GOD for everything.
Please don't let your depression turn you away from Jesus. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phillippians 4:13. Jesus will get you through this time and He will give you strength to endure all that you have to do to walk again as long as you are walking with HIM first!
I am sorry if I sound preachy to you, that really is not my intent. I pray that you will give your whole heart, spirit and soul to Jesus so that He can do a good work through you!
Need Prayer in a big way 
