Hi all. I've just started seeing this guy, it's actually something of a sweet story. I was madly in love with him when I was 14 but he was 26, so obviously nothing did or could happen, although there was a strong connection. We bumped into each other recently and now that I am 24 (he's 37) we're letting the magic happen. We've spent nearly everyday since together, and it feels wonderful. I haven't been this happy in years. Obviously, this is somewhat of a whirlwind romance, neither of us can really believe this is happening. He thinks it's fate; that we're meant to be, that we've crossed paths again now because it's time we got together. I am still a virgin, and I couldn't imagine any one better than him to share my first sexual experience with. The problem is, I am sooooo self conscious about my body. It's not so much weight, because he knew me as chubby then, and I pretty much look exactly the same, and he actually likes my few extra pounds. It's the dark patches of skin I'm uncomfortable with. I have it a lot between my legs/groin area, and a little bit in my armpits. I'm scared he'll be disgusted by it. I don't know whether to tell him about it now, or wait until it comes up, or what. I'm just so concerned about his reaction, I almost feel like pulling away so that I won't have to go into details about my life with PCOS. I don't know what to do.
__________________ 28 yrs Old
Diagnosed: 1/30/04
Began Metformin: 2/1/04 500 mgs twice a day
3/1/04 1000mg twice a day (I gained weight!) Stopped Metformin shortly after (couldn't take the side effects)
4/1/06 Yasmin 28
For one I think he should be a mature man not to notice those things. Like my man loves me sooo much he does not even see my flaws. And he is alot older then you so he should be mature, heck in my opinion with that age difference he should be worshipping the ground you walk on. Sorry but anyways what I really wanted to addres is that if you are 24 and still a virgin why not save it til your wedding night? I know that now at 26 I wish I would have waited. Anyways just FYI!
IMHO - I would tell him first...let him know that you have PCOS...I don't think you need to go into details about it yet, but atleast let him know what it does to you...and how many women deal with all the side effects from it...& if it will make you feel better, show him this site and all the women who suffer from dark shin patches aswell...there are a few threads on here...BTW about them!
I think it would be weird, for both of you, if you decide to make love & then he's like - whats that? it would be more uncomfortable that way...don't you
think?
Also - being open is so important, you should be able to tell him, and if he really believes it's fate that the 2 of u found each other, and that you are meant to be together, then some body/hormone problems won't matter...
Just my 2 cents girl...G/L!!!!!!!
__________________
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In To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. since April 18th 2000
Our miracle son Chris JR. was born Dec 17th, 2006
Thank you god!!!
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I agree with NATA, I think if he cares about you as much as you say he does, it won't matter to him.
It sounds to me like he's fallen in love with all of you, not just your body.
__________________ Diagnosed-PCOS & endometriosis.
Symptoms- IR, Irregular AF, & Yo-yo weight beggining at 11 y/o.
TTC since 10/08
BFP 100mgs clomid-M/C at 6 weeks To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. Harvey Fierstein
I remember I used to worry about fertility issues and how I would handle that when it came time to tell my then husband that it wasn't as easy for me as for others. It turned out that I was worried unnecessarily (that is usually the case). I agree with some of the other ladies. Be honest. Tell him you are worried about something and when he asks what just tell him exactly what you told us. He loves you. Dark patches aren't going to change that.
I am sorry I posted like that. Yeah you should be forward with him and tell him about PCOS and IR. Or you can do like I did for my whole life, hide. with the light out!
Hi All. Thanks for your helpful words. So, it happened. He either didn't notice the dark patches or didn't say anything, I'm not sure. It's been on the tip of my tongue to just say something so many times, but I just don't find the words. I'm feeling very, very much like running away. It's what I do, I give up on things so that I don't end up disappointed. It shames me to say I would give him up to keep my feeling of safe, predictable life. So many things run through my head about him, horrible, horrible things, for which he has actually nevr given me reason to think. For example, I wonder if I am just a conquest to him, the young virgin who's always been in love with him. Or I wonder if he thinks he's found himself a young little sucker he'll get in the palm of his hand and do as he wishes with. I even wonder if he thinks because I've like him since the age of 14, I'll be his little pupper. Or what if he thinks he can sucker me into supporting him (I make more money, although I'm way younger). I think of my family, hurt about my choosing him. My parents put me through college and have given me everything they possibly could, and for me to turn around and choose a man with nothing to offer me, without a college education, someone they'd consider below me, a "bum", what am I doing? I don't know what I'm doing, or thinking, or even saying. i feel like my brain is going to explode. I had given up on all of this romance stuff, I had accepted I wouldn't have love and was content with it. I just took a major step in buying an apartment to live with my cat in, I'm settled in my job, my life was very organized and safe, now I have all these feelings I'm not used to, and all these thoughts that disturb me. Maybe happiness just isn't for me, because I can't trust it, I can't trust anyone. All I think about are ways to protect myself, ways to not end up feeling stupid or hurt. I wish I could be more of a dreamer, and have hopes, but I don't. I never let myself think too far ahead, I never let myself have visions of the future. Having things scare me, because once you have, you can lose. I don't think I'm meant for relationships, I'm just not open enough. Sorry I'm rambling, I just don't know who to talk to.
__________________ 28 yrs Old
Diagnosed: 1/30/04
Began Metformin: 2/1/04 500 mgs twice a day
3/1/04 1000mg twice a day (I gained weight!) Stopped Metformin shortly after (couldn't take the side effects)
4/1/06 Yasmin 28
It's okay to question things. That's how you figure out what you want and need. Could it be that some of your questions come because you've become very close very quickly? Have you ever seen a reason to think that any of the negatives flashing through your mind could be true? It could be too that taking the risk outside your comfort zone isn't always comfortable. You may need a bit of space & time to work things out for yourself. Don't feel like you need to rush any decision. BTW, where can you ramble if not here?
I agree with what everyones been saying about the dark patches, if he has fallen for you and it sounds like he might have, then the imperfections (we all have them) wont matter. Honesty is the best policy even though it can be hard, its best things are laid down on the table before it goes too far imo.
Insecurities about him and some of the things you mentioned like being a conquest for him etc are natural when things go so well. However the loving are the daring, it could work out better than you ever dreamed.
Aw Storm. Sounds like you're my twin.
I didn't have a serious boyfriend until I was 25. Never really thought it would happen. I've been with my b/f now for 6 months (as of yesterday). It is still odd to hear someone tell me they love me, and accept my flaws and think I'm a wonderful person. I never had that before, and never let it happen before. I, like you, was too afraid of what I couldn't control. But my b/f is awesome. I told him up front about my health problems, etc. and he is fine with it. He's 8 years older than me, and does not have a college degree either, but is very good at what he does.
Try to just take it day by day, and let things happen. It's scary, but it's worth it.
Much love,
Marit
__________________ -29 year old female, dx 2005, symptoms ~10 years
-High testosterone, cortisol, aldosterone, androstenedione, free androgen index, no apparent insulin resistance however
-off all hormone meds since having pulmonary embolism in August 2009
-Main symptoms: weight gain (especially annoying in mid-section/abdomen), high androgens, very low progesterone, no periods unless on OC
-fortunate to have very good bp, blood sugar, cholesterol, etc., no hirsutism.
Like Marit, I can relate to what you're saying as well. For me it was related to my horrible fears of abandonment. As soon as I would get emotionally close to a guy or he would get "too close" to me, I'd find sudden flaws. Flaws that weren't there just a day or even an hour ago. I'd dwell on them until I'd start to pick fights about them and eventually push the guy away quite effectively! I honestly didn't realize I did this for many years, so it wasn't a conscious process, but it was undeniable once brought to my attention. I've dealt with those issues, for the most part, and no longer have to engage in my protective behaviors. I'm glad, as I'm happy in my nearly nine year relationship. A nine MONTH relationship before I dealt with my issues would have seemed impossible!! Nine YEARS? Unthinkable!
But that is just me. People, their thoughts, and their issues are all unique. You could be having genuine concerns. You seem to know the answer though... just keep thinking things through!
People gave me flak when I first met my partner and thought I was "settling" and that he was "below me", but for far more shallow reasons than education. I no longer talk to those people and I sure am glad I "settled" for the man who truly makes me happy!
Dana
__________________ Me (33)/Michael (3o) Together for almost nine long, happy years!
First PCOS dx: 1989 Supplements: One A Day Weight Smart, B Complex, Biotin, Pantothenic Acid (B5), B12, Saw Palmetto, Vit C, Vit D3, NAC, Alpha Lipoic Acid, Chromium Piconolate, Cinnamon, Magnesium, EPO, Zinc Gluconate, Green Tea Diet: "Modified" Zone plan
"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her" -Anon.
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Storm, I married "below" myself, too. My hubby barely graduated high school, and I busted my butt for a college degree. I earn more than him (although the gap is minor now that he's worked his way up to management).
Love is love - it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you start hearing warning bells that he's using you, listen to them. In the meantime, enjoy yourself and this new relationship. Remember - love's never a mistake, even when it rips out your heart and stomps on it. This way, you'll never have to wonder, "What if I'd given him a chance."
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
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Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
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In need of some advice/comfort... 
