http://www.livejournal.com/users/kahnman/120484.html
A friend of mine pointed this out to me today.
I was sickened by what I read there.
He, and the other idiots who were there, need to know our losses are real, and we have every right to grieve our little ones.
I hate the fact that the world is full of heartless jerks like this.
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Oh my God. I couldn't even finish reading all the replies. I got to the part where they were questioning why their mothers named them and stopped. My stomach actually hurts from reading what I did. There is nothing you can say or do to educate close minded idiots like that. And I say idiot only because the appropriate name for them would not be acceptable in mixed company!
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Those people are very cold hearted, insensitive and troubled souls. I don't think they are the majority but, it is sad that they even exist. I too could not read all the replies. To me they don't understand the fragility and greatness of a persons life. How would they like it if a relative of theirs died and someone told them they had no right to cry or greive over their loss. Or put up a grave stone? They do not understand and do not have the capacity in their little itty bitty brains to understand the gamet of emotions that other people experience during a loss of a child-be it before or after birth. I was appauled that someone said it was disturbing that the babies where named after they died. Those babies were a creation of life and deserved to have a name. How sad for these people that this is the way they live. Thank God I do not actually know anyone that is so cold.
God Bless -Julie
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Well ReneeBeth, if it helps i went and read through all that gobbledeegook what a load of crap btw...and fortunately they shut up pretty quick when people who actually have a clue what its like got in there and gave them a reality check!! People may have missed them though cuz getting through all their dribble was hard...but the last posts were pretty good.
There was a time i didnt know what it was like either...but never would have i said any of those things...they've all gone and slunked back under their rocks...freedom of speech is one thing, complete idiocy is another!
Oh my God. I couldn't even finish reading all the replies. I got to the part where they were questioning why their mothers named them and stopped. My stomach actually hurts from reading what I did. There is nothing you can say or do to educate close minded idiots like that. And I say idiot only because the appropriate name for them would not be acceptable in mixed company!
I agree 100%! These people make me sick! They have NO clue what it's like to loss a child.
Renee, I'm so very sorry that some complete morons made such horrible judgements about your pain People like that make me really sick, and I don't understand how they can be so insensitive.
Please don't listen to a word they say. It's just not important. People like that tend to wallow in their ignorance, so don't waste any more time trying to "educate" them. They aren't worth your time.
Hugs,
Adrianne
__________________ Adrianne 31, DH 44 - married 6/01 - 2 DSDs (13 & 15)
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BIg ((((HUGS)))) ReneeBeth, that is some of the cruelest things I've read about losing a baby. I don't care what the Jewish culture says about tradition, these were human beings and those people talked about "fetuses" like they were nothing. How insensitive.
My blood is boiling with the "how could she name them?" comment as well as "they had at least a month and a half before they were viable". I'm glad someone set them straight.
That guy doesn't have anything better to do.... [Like spend time with his own kids!] than to try and make an absolute fool of himself and hurt other people? What right does he have to call someone else's grief inappropriate or "obcessing"? Psycho!
I know a lot of the other posts that kinda went along with him were just misguided and had no experience of their own with losing a baby (thank goodness for their sake), but seriously, why would they be talking about such a deeply personal matter regarding someone they know nothing about? Pitiful.
The last several posts, after your friend who set that guy straight, were good. They said most of what I would have said. Honestly that guy makes me sick. Please don't read anything else by him... will you promise?
I'm sorry that happened!!
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
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Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
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The last several posts, after your friend who set that guy straight, were good. They said most of what I would have said. Honestly that guy makes me sick. Please don't read anything else by him... will you promise?
I'm sorry that happened!!
I finally went back and finished reading. I figured if you could make it through them then I could. I completely agree with Sherik. Please don't read anymore of his posts. You sure don't need this right now, or any time for that matter. I can't believe a personal attack like that. He can't possibly fathom what you are going through. It makes me mad that people like him even exist.
Okay, I just replied. I hope I got across what I meant. Here's what I posted...
Quote:
I am a women with fertility issues who has lost 8 babies. The comments made in this thread are callous and demeaning toward a woman who is in a lot of pain. Anyone who has not suffered a loss of this nature, much less several losses has no idea the anguish that this woman is in. I take some solace in knowing that my babies are with GOd and will never know any suffering. I still mourn their loss because I wanted to hold them, hear them cry, watch them grow, etc. Their hearts beat and blood ran through their veins. They existed as much as I exist now. They just didn't live on this Earth as long as I have. Mourning their loss isn't from a fear of "the big D - DEATH." It's mourning because I can't spend time with them now. I tried so hard to bring them into this world so I could love them and raise them. Would you not mourn the loss of your children despite the fact that you strongly believe in God? Losing a baby at any point is a loss. These babies existed. They deserved to be named. They deserved a proper burial. They deserved to be mourned. God created these little beings and they are precious. If you had lost your family you would be a little "unhinged" too. Those babies are her family.
And about the issue with PCOS, I have PCOS. Having a baby with PCOS is quite challenging. I finally have a son. I almost lost him like my other babies. Luckily I had the best medical care possible and the doctors were able to perform a rescue cerclage in time to save his life. It could have been my baby you are debating about. He is real. He is sleeping in the next room. Why don't you educate yourself about the issues this woman is suffering with and try to find ways to help her and support her instead of tearing her down.
Those were the cruelest things that a person could say. I don't care what religion you are, if you have a loss you have every right to mourn it. You have every right to name your baby, no matter how far along you were. I am practically speechless. Flabbergasted. It's sad that someone like that exists. He should pray he never has to suffer like you have. Although, I am so mad right now, that if he did have to, it'd be sweet justice. And if he is so religious, doesn't he know that it is a sin to judge? I don't know anything about being Jewish, but isn't that a sin in Judaism too?
I can't read it. I get a "you don't have permission" error message.
From what I read here, they sound like horrible excuses for human beings. I'm sorry you had to go through that, Renee!
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Need you all to speak up with me... 
Oh my God. I couldn't even finish reading all the replies. I got to the part where they were questioning why their mothers named them and stopped. My stomach actually hurts from reading what I did. There is nothing you can say or do to educate close minded idiots like that. And I say idiot only because the appropriate name for them would not be acceptable in mixed company!
what a load of 
crap btw...and fortunately they shut up pretty quick when people who actually have a clue what its like got in there and gave them a reality check!! 
People may have missed them though cuz getting through all their dribble was hard...but the last posts were pretty good.
