Needing some support

sarahbelle · 12-16-2008, 02:39 PM

I am new to posting on here. I have been a member for a month or two, but just been lurking; reading posts. Today, I felt like I just needed to post and maybe get some emotional support from such a great community.
As I type this, I am still sitting in my bed. I had (what I now realize) was a panic attack this morning. It is the third one in about a month. I broke down and called the doctor last week and she put me on Lexapro 10mg.
It has been about 5 yrs. since I was last on an antidepressant for my anxiety/panic attacks. I was "diagnosed" with PCOS this summer and have really just recently spent time doing research on it. It is like when I experience a new symptom I go look it up only to discover that it is PCOS related. So I am learning more little by little.
I am trying to begin the GI diet as I have been reading how helpful that diet is. Would love any feedback from others about this!
But back to my anxiety...I am 31 yrs old, no children, no husband, no boyfriend. I am also about to graduate with my masters degree on Saturday and have no job prospects at all. I feel like I have been constantly churning out resumes and sending out applications with no response. I keep having people tell me that I will get a job and not to worry. But because it is just me, I am the one who has to make sure the bills get paid. I have no safety net and am in sooo much debt now. I think I worried myself into sickness last week (although I did have a nasty bug prior to that) to where I wasn't really eating.
Last night I was having pains (in my left ovary it felt like) and since then have been worrying about what it could be...which I think, along with my other underlying stressors, sent me into panic mode this morning.
I am hoping that the Lexapro starts working soon.
I know there are many of you out there who have similar stories and have found comfort being on this board. So here is my first post looking for some support and comfort.

-Sarahbelle

angelfaithy22 · 12-16-2008, 02:56 PM

Hey sarahbelle. Sounds like you are going through a rough time. When people say "everything will be fine" it is because they love you and don't know what else to say. I will say however that although things look bleek right now, there are avenues you can pursue to take a more proactive approach. Waiting for things to change inevitably does nothing for your state of being. You need to change your perspective from one of despair to one of hope. When things are bad, the likelihood is that things will begin to get better. As for debt, we all have it and stressing about it just makes it worse. Money can't go with us when we leave this place so don't spend you life worrying about it. Do your best and take help when you can even if it is not the route you "planned" on taking.

No man in your life can be a very positive thing!!! plenty of women have taken to having and raising children on their own. And again maybe it is not what you pictured, but if being a mother is your goal then make it happen. When a man does come along he will surely take an active role in your child's life as well as yours.

Depression is a tricky subject. We all deal with it differently. Being on an antidepressant doesn't make you a failure at living without it. We all need help from time to time and be thankful that you live in a day and age where mental illness awareness is growing and that there are remedies out there for you. Look at it as a short term friend. When you need it, it's there and when you don't it is in the wings just in case.

Right now is a tough time in the job market, no doubt about it. But working for a company which does not necessarily use your degree, does not make it all in vain. Get a job to make money and keep diligently searching for your dream job. It will come to you if you can bring yourself to believe it will come to you.

I hope these words give you some comfort and if I can help, please let me know.
Good luck

siamlovex2 · 12-22-2008, 06:23 PM

Sarahbelle,

Angelfaithy22 said it excellently in her post, I'm finding it difficult to add anything to what she already said, as she expressed herself very well. However, I just wanted to post to add my support and offer help in any way I can.

As far as the lack of boyfriend thing goes, you're 31 but you're still very young and have plenty of time to meet the right person. I didn't get married until I was 34 (divorced 5 years later); I then met my true soulmate at age 40 and we're still together seven years later. Also, women are now having their first children later and later in life, so it's not uncommon for women nowadays to have children in their late 30's or even early 40's. For some of us, it (marriage and family) just happens later in life than for others.

As far as the job search goes, my suggestion for you is to sign up with a temporary employment agency within your city/town to find temp jobs that'll least keep you afloat financially until you can find the permanent job that's right for you. Also, many times a temp job can turn into a permanent one: a lot of employers are now hiring entry-level employees as "temps" to begin with to check out their work ethics and habits before hiring them full-time. When I was laid off from my job a few years ago, I signed up with a temp agency, who within a week placed me in a very well-paying contract position with a defense contractor. The project was temporary and only lasted me a few months, but at least I was working and paying the bills until I found a permanent job, which I still have to this day.

The low-GI diet will help you a LOT if you have PCOS and are also IR. In addition to weight loss, it may also help to stabilize your moods so that you're feeling a little more confident and hopeful in solving some of your present dilemmas. I've found that the low-GI diet is very easy to follow, not expensive, and will leave you feeling full and not hungry all day.

Best of luck to you...I know things seem tough right now and it's easy for me to say that it'll "get better", but God has a way of "helping those who help themselves"...at least that's what my late father used to tell me when I was going through difficult times.

jackie_h1 · 12-30-2008, 05:43 PM

Hi Sarahbelle! I just wanted to let you know you are NOT alone. I'm here if you need me! PM anytime. Try to think of the positives in your life. Don't stress about what you cannot change. Keep your chin up dear friend. The GI diet should help your PCOS, which may help your moods. I hope the Lexapro helps the anxiety. If not, call your doc or get in to see him/her. I also have anxiety and know that I need my medication. It HELPS tremendously!

Keep pushing those resumes and someone is bound to grab you as a wonderful new employee!

Put as much positive energy out into the universe as you can and I promise it will only return to you! Karma is a wonderful thing!

sarahbelle · 01-04-2009, 01:43 PM

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the messages and the positive support. I think that day was a very bad day for me anxiety-wise. It may have also been a side effect of the Lexapro. However, I am doing better right now. I still don't have a job yet, but I am much more optimistic about it happening.
Again, thanks so much for your support. I am so glad I found this board!

-SarahBelle

becciliz · 01-13-2009, 01:16 PM

glad to hear you are doing a little better now. hope things stay positive and optimistic for you. thinking of you

SunnyInSeattle1 · 01-13-2009, 04:18 PM

Ditto.. I believe in you. Have faith, I know it is hard right now to do so, but I had the same issues as you. I had no-one, no job, just school. and then I met my husband. My life eventually got better. I still have some bad days, but I try to look at the positive things in my life.