New to this board

Skywaitress94 · 08-31-2002, 01:16 AM

Hi everyone. Well this is the first time I have posted a thread on this board. I just felt I needed something and found myself here. We lost our baby almost 6 weeks ago. It was an ectopic pregnancy and I was 10w6d. I was so far along because I didnt know I was pg until I was 8 weeks. My levels showed I was only 5 but as they monitored me they saw my HcG wasnt doubling. They kept looking on u/s for baby but never saw him until 2 weeks when they found him in my left tube. I was absolutly miserable. Until that point I had two surgeries in hopes of getting pg and now this happens. It seems like the only thing I ever wanted is too far out of reach. We went to the RE two days ago and she said she would do an HSG in November but wasnt hopeful. I have a congential abnormality on my right ovary and tube (they never developed at birth) and she feels it is likely the left side is affected similarly just not enough to actually see like the right. She feels are only option is IVF, which we cant afford. I am just miserable and dont know how I am suppose to live like this. I wish more often than not that I would have died when I lost my child. I am seeing a counsleor who is really helpful but I cant be with her everyday can I.

Also, I am getting married in 5 weeks and feel really frustrated with FI. First, my FMIL is doing her best to make our lives suck. Second, I often feel like he doesnt think about me and what is important in my life. You see he is a pilot and is gone 5 days a week. I knew this when I got into it (I was a flight attendant) and thats not the problem. Its just that so often he seems so self absorbed and I honestly believe he doesnt know a thing that goes on with me or in my heart or my head for that matter. I started back at school this week and he never said two words about it. Not a thing. It is really frustrating and very scary when your about to get married.

I just dont know what to do....I just wish I would have never woken up from my c section. I always believed that God doesnt give you more than you can handle...but it is more than I can handle. I just dont know what to do.

Thanks.
Lisa

Bibi · 08-31-2002, 02:40 AM

{{{{{LISA}}}}}

I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of ya in this trying time for you!! I am still a newbie in a lot of ways but I know this board is extremely helpful....take care and hang in there!!! Bibi

Lendi · 09-01-2002, 12:21 AM

I'm very sorry about your baby. You must be hurting so much ;( I don't have any real advice, just wanted to tell you I care and I'll be around to listen to you if you need. Hugs, Lendi

CTCyster · 09-03-2002, 02:43 PM

(((Lisa)))

I am so sorry you're dealing with so much at once. You're in my prayers as you deal with your loss and prepare for your wedding- try not to get overwhelmed.

Good luck and God Bless!
Aimee