New Christian in need of support

toomuch4acyster · 08-21-2008, 11:25 AM

Hello there. I have been a Christian for almost 2 years and I would still pretty much consider myself new. Since becoming a Christian my husband and I started a new service at our base chapel with another group of people and that had been such a challenge since day one. Seeing what goes on behind the scenes of a church I believe has hurt my faith instead of help it. And now that I am not educated nor strong enough in my faith I find it so very hard to turn to God and trust Him now that my husband and I are TTC. I don't know what to do or how to turn to God in my time of need. I am so sad because it seems like everyone around me is getting pregnant besides me. I keep trying to tell myself that it will all happen in God's time but that is a pretty hard thing to swallow. Any help out there?

MWpuravida · 08-21-2008, 12:20 PM

Hey! I see you are coming over to the states soon... I am about 7 hours from there, but my aunt used to live in pensacola. It is beautiful! WELCOME!!!
If I knew your name, I would use it here.... I understand what you mean about seeing what goes on behind the scenes. I have completely been there, and would be happy to talk to you about it any time. Remember that churches are full of people who screw up just the same as anyone else. EVERY person in this world is going to let you down at some time. GOD WON'T. I promise. Sometimes I feel like He has gone silent, but then realize it is more a "me" issue, than a "Him" issue. Despite my best attempts, I fail miserably at times. God gave us our son at a crazy time in our lives... I had to draw on the support of God to know we would make it through. Now we have been trying to have another baby for a long time, and find we are having to lean on God for that too. Let us help you... not that we can do much about your TTC process

But we can help you with leaning on God for support.

jupiter · 08-21-2008, 01:30 PM

I can completely relate to what you wrote. Two years ago there was
some drama at our church and because my husband and I are both involved in church ministries we were hearing so much gossip. We learned to tune it out. It was difficult but we got through it.

Sorry this is a bit long but here's my TTC story.
DH and I were married in 2004 and started TTC'ing right away. We went through so many tests and I was charting my temperature. After almost a year of charting my doctor told me the next step was to see a RE to start fertility treatments. DH and I decided to leave it in God's hands. A year later my doctor suggested going on birth control pills for a few months. On the way home from the appointment the song "Praise you in this storm" came on the radio. I started crying so hard I almost had to pull over. I realized that I was to praise God no matter what. DH and I prayed about me going on the pill and God told us three months. At my next appointment with my doctor I brought up going on the pill and he said he wanted me on it for three months. DH and I laughed. I went on Yaz for three months. During that time we had all our friends and family praying for us. The cycle right after I came off Yaz is when I conceived our miracle, Hannah. In April I got the surprise of my life when I found out I was pregnant again. Our second miracle, Mary is due in Decmeber. I have been told by several doctors that I would never be able to conceive without medical intervention because I have PCOS and endometriosis.

I would suggest reading through the Psalms. They were a great source of inspiration to me during my journey. I also read about the women in the Bible who were dealing with infertility-Sarah, Hannah and Elizabeth. In fact my daughter is named after two of them. God gave me the name Hannah Elizabeth a year before I got pregnant. He told me that was the name I was to give to my daughter.

I am so sorry you are going through all this. It is difficult to be patient. You will be in my prayers.

jupiter · 08-21-2008, 02:01 PM

Here's a link to the song I mentioned in my post. It's called "Praise you in this storm" and it's sung by Casting Crowns. It's a great song and it has helped me through lots of difficult times when my faith was wavering.

You Tube

Jashobeam · 08-21-2008, 07:00 PM

Praise You In This Storm is a wonderful song!

I agree it's easy to be discouraged by fakeness or hypocrites, but they will always exist. If you are a new Christian I suggest you get into a daily Bible study alone and one with your DH weekly. You should read thru the Bible fully every 2 years. If you read just 3 or 4 chapters a day you can get through the entire New and Old Testaments in 18 months. I would suggest you go in this order at first:

The Gospel of John
Romans
Hebrews
Genesis
Matthew, Mark and Luke, then the rest of the NT you haven't read, then back to Exodus.

Along with this you can do a Proverb each day and go through the Book of Proverbs each month. It's a Book of Wisdom.

I would also suggest some Bible study authors such as Harold Willmington (Wilmington's Guide to the Bible) and Elmer Towns (he has a ton of used books on ebay and amazon). I would also suggest a Spiritual Gifts survey to see where God most likely has bless and equiped you to serve Him:

http://www.elmertowns.com/spiritual_gifts_test/

God bless you as you seek to serve Him and may He comfort you as you seek to be in His Will.

toomuch4acyster · 08-22-2008, 09:19 AM

Wow, I am so overwhelmed by the responses. I thank you all for everything. God Bless you all. Oh, and no TTC story is too long. If you have one, share it. We are all in the same boat here. Let's lift each other up.

Frenetic · 08-22-2008, 10:50 AM

I can completely relate to you on the church issue. It is so very easy to let the hypocrites get you down. I did that for a long time and thought that it didn't really matter if you went to church or not. I'm very happy that we are back in it now though. It helps to have that fellowship in your life. The best thing to remember is that no one is or ever will be perfect, except for Jesus, so no church is ever going to be perfect either. People have issues in life with gossiping, etc., and that's not going to necessarily change because they are in the church.
As for TTC, the only thing I can tell you is to hold tight to God in this time. We were married for over 5 years and I was wishing, waiting, and wanting for a child. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly take it anymore, God blessed us with this pregnancy. I tried so many things to help myself, but it was when I completely gave it up to God that my prayer was answered.
I wish you the best during this trying time. I know how hard it can be. I'm saying a prayer for you now for strength as you go through this. God bless!

retzhappymom · 08-22-2008, 06:18 PM

Hello there! Just wanted to let you know that you and your husband are in my prayers. I know how hard it is to wait, especially when your timing is not the same as God's! My hubby and I tried for over a year to get pregnant and we found out on a Sunday that I was pregnant. On Monday, I miscarried the baby. It was hard for both of us, but I was upset and angry. I couldn't understand why a good Christian, married couple would loose a baby when teenagers are out there getting pregnant who didn't even want a baby. I had to turn to God and understand that He had a reason for this, even though I would never understand why. Maybe it was to help other women who have miscarried. So after my miscarriage, we waited 3 months to start trying agian. Two months after that, we got pregnant. Again, my trust in the Lord had to come in. I got scared at anything that felt wierd or that I thought wasn't normal. I'm sure my OB/GYN and the nurses got tired of me calling them

After 9 months of being scared, nervous, anxious, excited and every other emotion. I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Then 3 1/2 years later I gave birth to a healthy, baby girl. And I know how hard it is to be patient, especially when it seems everyone around you is having a baby. A Bible verse that got me through is Jeremiah 29:11. It's below on my signature!

toomuch4acyster · 08-22-2008, 07:32 PM

Melissa,

Thank you so much for your prayers. The stories I am hearing are giving me hope. And just so you know, the bible verse you have given me in written on a sticky note and stuck to my fridge,and trust me I go there often. Thank you so much for the reminder, He has a plan for me. I see you are adopting, congratulations. God bless you for taking in a child who maybe otherwise would have never had a chance. Please let me know how the process goes, the adoption process that is. I was thinking of adopting anyway, even if I do concieve.

alwayzrn · 08-22-2008, 08:23 PM

I agree with the other ladies, I had and am still having my faith tested. I have lost my two sons it is in my siggie and it is so hard to understand why the Lord allowed it to happen. But I do feel that it was to help me build my relationship with him, because at times I feel that I don't need Him when my life is going well and I pull Him off the shelf when my life is going wrong. TTC is a hard journey and I pray that the Lord will be with you during your time of difficulty!

Hugz!

retzhappymom · 08-24-2008, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by toomuch4acyster

Melissa,

Thank you so much for your prayers. The stories I am hearing are giving me hope. And just so you know, the bible verse you have given me in written on a sticky note and stuck to my fridge,and trust me I go there often. Thank you so much for the reminder, He has a plan for me. I see you are adopting, congratulations. God bless you for taking in a child who maybe otherwise would have never had a chance. Please let me know how the process goes, the adoption process that is. I was thinking of adopting anyway, even if I do concieve.

Sometimes it is hard to remember that God does have a plan for you. Even though it may not be as quick as you want it - that HIS timing is the only timing that matters. I have the Bible verse framed that my hubby bought me. It hangs in my living room, and when I need a reminder, I just read it.

We are adopting through DSS in SC. We started thinking about the process while we were having trouble getting pregnant with our son. We started looking into overseas, but it was too expensive. We also looked at private adoption, but we aren't really wanting an open adoption and we don't want the parents to know who we are, where we live, etc. So we prayed and started the DSS process. I then got pregnant with our first baby, so we put the process on hold (we really haven't gotten that far). So when our son got older, we started looking into it again. And then our daughter came along. When she got 2 or 3, we started with DSS again. We had to start everything over again because it had been so long. But like I said, we hadn't gone too far into the process before. We had to do 14 hours training, DHEC inspections, fire inspections, home inspections and all that other fun stuff. We finally got approved in March of this year. So we are now PATIENTLY waiting for a child. I still have to remember that verse now, because I'm not great at being patient. Our 7 year old son is wanting a brother NOW. His sister isn't into playing Star Wars with him or wresting. So our son figures that if we adopt a son, he'll want to play all that stuff. I try to call our social worker about once a month to check in with her. But we are still waiting for the call to tell us that we have been chosen. At that point, we go to Greenville and get to read the child's history. This is EVERYTHING that DSS has on the child. Then we are encouraged to bring the file home and read it again, think about it and PRAY about it. Then we make the decision if we think the child is one we'd like to adopt. So we are anxiously, but patiently waiting on that call. I'm like you too, we've always talked about adoption, even with having our own child. There are just so many children that need a home. Let me know if/when you start the adoption process. Some of the forms you have to fill out can be a little overwhelming, as far as what you are willing to accept in a child. Like we want to keep the birth order the same as far as our son the oldest, our daughter the middle child and the adoption child younger than our daughter. We also aren't willing to take a child who has a violent tendency. We have our two children to think about and we also live about 5 minutes from my sister, who has 3 girls under the age of 8. So we have to have a child that is okay with other children in the family. So there's just a lot to think about. Keep me updated though!

jupiter · 09-03-2008, 02:43 PM

Just checking in to see how you are doing. I pray that things are going better for you.

Here's another part to my TTC journey. I was told by three doctors that I would never be able to get pregnant because of PCOS, endometriosis and abnormally large ovaries. I also had numerous fibroids on my uterus. About three years after my doctor found the fibroids, they disappeared. My doctor was surprised because they don't just go away without surgery. In my case I had a lot of people praying for them to go away. In October 2005 I had a HSG to see if my tubes were clear. As I watched the dye go through, I noticed the dye in my right tube was going very slow then it stopped. All of a sudden I was in excruciating pain then the dye flowed through quickly. I had a blockage in my right tube and the dye pushed it out. A year and three months later when I had my first ultrasound after finding out I was pregnant, the tech pointed out that the egg had come from my right ovary. If I had not had the HSG, I would not have conceived. With my current pregnancy, the egg also came from my right side. It is amazing what God will do when we trust Him completely.

I think it's wonderful that you are considering adoption. My BIL and his wife adopted a girl from China two years ago. It was a long, expensive process but it was worth it.

God bless you!!! Please let us know how you are doing.

toomuch4acyster · 09-04-2008, 10:45 AM

Hey Jupiter!! All is going surprisingly well. I have leaned on my faith so much more and I feel so much better. At this point, even if I do end up pregnant, I pretty much have decided that I am going to adopt. I had a very rough childhood and if I can save another child from going throught the same thing I am all for it. Thank you for your prayers by the way. As for right now, everything in our TTC journey is at a stand still, we move back to the US in less than a month. When I get there I will find a doctor who knows alot about PCOS and take it from there. Also, I found out that the military has adoption assistance to help us pay for some of the fees. That is so exciting. Either way, I know now in my heart that everything will be okay. Thanks again and God Bless. How are you doing in your pregnancy by the way?

jupiter · 09-04-2008, 12:55 PM

I am so glad to hear that you are doing better. That is great news about the military having adoption assistance. From what I've heard adoption can get expensive so it's great that you will be able to get some help. There is an adoption thread on here it's listed under mommyhood. You might want to check it out when you get a chance. I'm sure you would be able to get some great advice on how to go about adopting and what to expect.

My pregnancy is going great. Thanks for asking. I am getting excited and nervous because I have 14-15 weeks left. My doctor won't let me go to 40 weeks because the hospital I have to deliver at is an hour and a half away. I had an emergency c-section with Hannah and this time I might be able to have a VBAC. I'm still undecided about what to do. I am anxious about another c-section because the hospital I had Hannah at messed up on the spinal and ended up almost killing me and Hannah(very long story). I know that God is in control and I have much better doctors and will be delivering at a better hospital but I can't help but have some anxiety.

I think you have a great plan to wait until you get back to the states and find a doctor who knows about PCOS. And it's wonderful that you still want to adopt even if you do end up pregnant. There are so many children who need good, loving homes.

God Bless.