I lost my twins on Oct. 8th, they were perfect. Nothing was wrong with them. They were 19.5 weeks along, so they were in between miscarriage and stillborn. I'm just so lost and I don't know what to do. I had such a hard time getting pregnant and my dr.s were just horrible. he just told me not to worry because "i'm young", and he never told me anything post natal wise. so i'm just really lost right now. nobody explained to me what to do when my body starts producing milk, or anything. i'm frustrated. anyway, i'm sure we've all been through these pains and frustrations . . . so here are the questions i have and I thought those with PCOS might be able to help.
- if your milk came in how long did it take to go away?
- did anything PCOS related cause your tragedy?
- did you have your period soon after? how long did it take to regulate or ovulate? did you ever get pregnant again?
i guess those are the biggest questions on my mind. i know there willbe days when i'll feel just ok again, i'd kill to feel just ok, but i know this is part of the process.
First, I want to say that I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a baby this summer at 21 weeks. I feel like I can answer some of your questions.
1. yes, my milk came in and it took about a week for the worst to pass... just wear a good bra and try to keep the shower off of them. It is awful, but it will pass.
2. they did lots of testing and in my case they found out that I have a clotting disorder and they believe that is what caused my loss. I would reccomend asking your dr. about getting check for clotting problems.
3. I never got my period after the m/c, but i never had regular cycles had to take progesterone to start cycle.
4. I am currently pg. with quints- that was our first cycle trying after our loss.
I hope this answers some of your questions it is absolutely horrible to lose a baby that is perfect, but just to small to live. It will get better- try to stay busy and keep your mind busy. Good luck!
Angie
I am so sorry that you are going through. Just know that I would give you a hug if I could. I wish we were meeting under different circumstances.
- in response to your question about the milk. It is a horrible thing to have to go through. Mine didn't 'come in' for the most part until 3 days after we lost our Christopher at 22 weeks. I wrapped my chest up in an ace bandage as tight as I could stand, a tight sports bra would work similar. The idea is that the pressure doesn't allow the milk to fill into your glands - meaning less milk. If your milk has come in you may have to start with pressure you can tolerate, and tighten it slowly. Another thing that might happen, and was the hardest for me, was the few times I heard a baby cry, it actually made my chest ache. The pressure was painful during those times. It took about three to four weeks for the milk to go away. Also, keep your chest from being stimulated. The shower is a huge thing that will cause it, the heat and shower water itself. I kept my chest tight until I was done then used a wash cloth and cool water to clean them.
- The period thing really depends on you. You didn't mentioned what you went through with your loss - for me I was actually induced and went through a vaginal delivery. I bled for about four weeks - at first heavy, then it got lighter and darker. My period came three days after the end of the birth blood. The first one was 7-8 weeks, I was temping and for the next cycle I didn't O till CD 22 so AF wouldn't have been due until 38ish days later.
- PCOS had nothing to do with our loss. We lost our Christopher to incompetent cervix. Basically my cervix wasn't strong enough to hold the baby in. It sucks so much for us to have so much trouble conceiving, it took us 8 years to get our first BFP this year in March with Christopher. Then to have to deal with the loss percentages of the rest of the world when we finally do get pregnant sucks. Another thing I've heard can cause preterm labor is infection, such a bacterial vaginosis, or yeast infections and such.
- I would also watch out for the huge hormone change that is in the work. You may find yourself very tired and down, on top of losing our babies.
Another thing is that I would definitely look into another doctor, if you can. I mean if nothing else they could at least have given you a pamphlet or something to give you some clue as what to expect. If you spent any time in the hospital and they didn't help you I would also write the hospital when you can handle it emotionally. It's so easy to share in the joy of a new birth, but it's the few that lose their babies that need the most tender care. Let them know that they need to find a way to help grieving parents through this devastating time.
I wish you had more information on how you lost your dear babies. As was mentioned clotting disorders and such. If you felt any pressure around your vagina it could have been incompetent cervix. DEMAND that your doctor look into what happened. At the same time understand that our bodies know so much more than we do - something might have been wrong with your babies that your body knew and you didn't.
Make sure you take the time to grieve, love and miss your babies. Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve, or when you should be 'over it'. People suggested anti-depressants, sleep aids and such for me. I knew that I needed to go through the grief process. I didn't like the idea of covering it up because we'd have to face it some time. Go through whatever emotions you need to. Never ever stop loving your babies and know that they love you too. It's a great thing that we have a God that has promised we get to see our babies again.
Feel free to PM me if I can ever even just be an ear. I hope some of this is helpful, even just a little bit.
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~Christopher Allen Doern~ Forever Loved Brought into and taken from this world on July 4, 2009 at 22 weeks due to incompetent cervix. "The true measure of a life and love is not how long the flame burns here on Earth, it's how strong it burns in the heart. - Tammy Doern
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wow quints! if you don't mind me asking what methods did you use? I got twins on my first round with clomid after 3 failed of femara. i just want to know when i can start trying again. i know everyone says wait and listen to your body, and you can't replace the twins, but i don't care what everybody else thinks. i felt ready, i still feel ready, my next children will never replace my babies, and my body is healing up pretty fast. i've lost a ton of weight and i feel healthy and ready and i want to get pregnant before all my hormones change back to when i didn't ovulate for 7 months.
I got a BFP with Femara 5 mg CD 3-7 Repronex injections x 6 and a trigger shot. When we did our last ultrasound she only say one large follicle and one developing... the babies are all in their own sacs so I guess there were more follicles. After we lost our baby, I felt the same way.. I knew before we left the hospital that I still wanted to try again- that is why we did a mixed cycle. I was only producing one follicle with PO meds alone so when my RE told me that my best shot would be in the first 6 months ( I had to wait three months to try again) I really wanted to be more aggressive during that time frame and had we not gotten pg. with the previous baby we would have moved to a mixed cycle anyway. So far, everything is looking o.k. - I will have an ultrasound next week 11 weeks to screen for downs and a few other problems, I feel like if all is well at that point we will continue on our way. After a late loss you will always hold your breath at every ultrasound and it seems as if the days drag by, but I am trying to stay positive and focus on the future. Good luck and I hope that everything will work out o.k. on your next go round.
Angie
I'm so sorry for your loss(es). I lost Maya @ 24 weeks and it was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through.
- if your milk came in how long did it take to go away? My milk came in around 3-4 days after I had Maya and lasted 10-14 days. I had to wear an ace bandage, like Tammy -- try not to have anything 'hit' them, like the shower--it is so painful to begin with but I thought the shower might 'soothe' them but I was so wrong--it hurt so bad.
- did anything PCOS related cause your tragedy? No, I had IC, incompetent cervix. - did you have your period soon after? how long did it take to regulate or ovulate? did you ever get pregnant again? truthfully, i cant remember. i went into a fog afterwards for awhile. i did get pregnant again x4. 3 ended in m/c's and I am now pregnant for the 4th time since Maya was born. so far so good. the first time i got pregnant was the january after she was born (in september) but lost that baby at 7 weeks. i then got pregnant in november 2007 and lost that baby at 11-12 weeks. i then got pregnant this last spring but m/c at 6 weeks and now got pregnant in August and currently 11w2d pregnant and praying that this one 'sticks'.
__________________ Anne & Kyle
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Our 5 angels in heaven: Bailey Maya Ruth Avery Aric Alex
Ktonza - do you what your heart and body are telling you to do as to when to try again. I would definitely wait until you have at least one full cycle - just to allow your body to get it's lining rebuilt, and give your body a short break. After that I would say go for it. Just let AF come and do her thing and then get back into it if you are ready.
It was strange for hubby and I because when we lost our Christopher we both knew we wanted to go again as soon as we could. Your babies would never want you to put your life on hold for them. Just make sure your heart has healed to a point that you can handle the hormones (as well as any pregnant woman can) because it can be hard to have all this extra stuff running through you when you have all those emotions.
Feel free to PM me if I can help you at all.
good luck, and hugs
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~Christopher Allen Doern~ Forever Loved Brought into and taken from this world on July 4, 2009 at 22 weeks due to incompetent cervix. "The true measure of a life and love is not how long the flame burns here on Earth, it's how strong it burns in the heart. - Tammy Doern
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I'm sorry for your loss. I also just recently lost my daughter.
My milk started about 5 days after my c-section. I started wearing a sports bra about 3 days after the delivery and kept my back to the shower, when I washed my front, I used the handheld shower head so that water didn't really go on my chest.
My loss actually was related to PCOS. I developed severe HELLP which is considered a type of pre-eclampsia. I never knew this before this, but it turns out that having PCOS is a risk factor for developing pre-e.
I'm not supposed to try again for 3 months to give my c-section time to heal, but we'll probably start 'winging it' again once I'm 6 weeks postpartum, because we already know that I will have to have c-sections always in the future and I'm more worried about my fertility than I am having pregnancies too close together. (Really, the only risk is uterine rupture, and that risk will be the same no matter how long we wait because I had to have a vertical incision.)
__________________ First ever BFP on 5/15/09 after a year ttc and only 4 cycles.
Angel baby Olivia Caetlyn born at 23 2/7 weeks gestation due to my severe HELLP syndrome.
I haven't really ever seen a RE before, so I don't know anything about follicles or anything like that. My androgen levels were super high when I gained all the weight and found out about PCOS a year ago. Then I tried all the metformin and femara and clomid and luckily got Peter and Macie, so my hcg and pregnancy hormoes were even higher than normal, and now I'm scared all gain all the weight I lost (30lbs) and stop to ovulate. My bleeding has kinda stopped and now it's like a yellow mucus type thing. Is that normal? The OB I have I have been less than helpful and I've hated the whole esperience with that practice, so on Monday I see her and I have a list of typed questions and I'm also getting an ultrasound to make sure everything is cleared up. I have a referal from a friend for a new Perinatologist and when everything is done with this old OB, I'm going to get everything transfered to the new dr. and trying to get pg asap before all my hormones go to crap again. Should I buy ovulation predictor test and see if I ovulate this month?
Ktonza - I wouldn't worry about the strips yet. I would just relax, and heal emotionally, and worry about it next cycle.
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~Christopher Allen Doern~ Forever Loved Brought into and taken from this world on July 4, 2009 at 22 weeks due to incompetent cervix. "The true measure of a life and love is not how long the flame burns here on Earth, it's how strong it burns in the heart. - Tammy Doern
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I am sooo sorry for your loss...they ladies have already answered you...but my milk came in but it was sooo painful I had to pump, I produced so much milk. I didn't pump for like 3 days and when I finally did I got 6oz out of my right breast and 3 out of my left. I didn't care if I was going to produce milk for a longer time, the pain of engorgment was soooo bad!
My cycle came back in about 6 weeks or so. I O'd and got pg right away. But I lost my second son 6 months later. All of the info is in the siggie.
My losses were not PCOS related as far as I know. My first son died because of my placenta. They said it looked like tenderized meat. They are thinking that it was about the same thing with my second son.
I know this is soo hard and I hope that you have supportive people to help you get through it. If you need to take you know we are here for you!
__________________ Adrianne (30) & Alton (35) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
DSD (11) & DSS (9)
Alton "Tre' " Bernard III 22w0d: 01/12/08 - 01/12/08
Walter Renoid 19w5d: 07/03/08 - 07/03/08
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my little girl at 26 weeks on 9-19-09. My heart goes out to you as I know the kind of pain you're living. I'll answer your questions but some of them don't apply to me yet.
- if your milk came in how long did it take to go away? mine came in at 3 days and I can still express a little bit if I try, and I'm 5 weeks out from my loss. I had a ton of milk though and had to pump for a while
- did anything PCOS related cause your tragedy? no. Rachel had a ventricular septal defect, along with placental deficiency from me catching Fifth's Disease at 15 weeks
- did you have your period soon after? I haven't had one yet, still waiting to ovulate. My RE said that if I don't get one in the next 3 weeks or so, she would give me provera.
how long did it take to regulate or ovulate? did you ever get pregnant again:
I'm not pg again but we are going to start TTC again in december. I have to use injectable meds with IUI to conceive, so I'm praying it doesn't take too long.
Hey I have a quick question. I'm not bleeding anymore, and today I had an ultrasound and my ovaries had a bunch of follicles, but the tech said they were really small. how big do they need to be to ovulate? So far I'm tracking my BBT, and I bought some OPK tests to see if I can ovulate on my own the next month or two, ,if now the Dr. said we could try clomid.
I'm so sorry for you loss.. I have a stillborn daughter at 21weeks..
I remember my milk coming in was just a big stab in back reminder of what i had lost..
Lots of Hugs!!
New here 
Just let AF come and do her thing and then get back into it if you are ready. 
