Hi, i'm Carrie. I don't really know what i'm doing here. I have PCOD (diagnosed 2002) but I haven't had medical insurance in a long time so I haven't been on any meds.
Was diagnosed bipolar this in 2007. Currently i'm living with my boyfriend of 2 years, i'm not working (can't hold down a job, mood swings are pretty bad) and i'm taking depakote 3x a day as well as celexa once a day and recently added kolonopin twice a day.
I'd been lucky the last few years. My periods were pretty normal, somewhat regular and not horribly heavy. That was until May 3. Started spotting which continued about a week, then I started bleeding very heavily and passing large clots, which continued until I could finally see my doctor yesterday. She's doing somthing called a chemical D & C (i'm taking several birth control pills a day for 3 days) And was talking about ultrasounds and possible having to do a regualr D & C.
I'm just lost with all of this. I haven't taken care of myself (yound and stupid) and now i'm terrified that it's to late to get healthy now.
I'm morbidly obese by medical standards, I hate myself most days, I have a history of drug abuse, more depressed days than manic ones and very few friends. I'm crazy shy and so lonely. Just came here looking for someone to talk to.
I'm sorry to hear you are having such a hard time (though I guess I didn't "hear" it, I "read it!"). I don't have any advice - I am not bipolar - I do struggle with anxiety though...actually, I more than struggle, I am a complete worrywart! Regardless, I hope that things get better for you very very soon. Don't be lonely on SoulCysters - go find some topics that interest you and just join some conversations!
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DH - 29
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Currently taking:
Metformin 2000 mg
Lexapro (anxiety)
Vitamin b12
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Hi Carrie,
I hope things turn around soon. I feel pretty crappy most days too. I'm 23, my periods have never been normal. Though I do get a normal period every other month.. its the most insane thing ever. I'm extremely hirsute and here comes summer. Anyway, enough of my rants.
All I can tell you is that you will find a lot of support on this website. This website has been a godsend for me. You can come here with any of your problems and you'll always find someone to listen, so never feel alone. It just feels better to know that we're not the only ones going through this.
Just curious, how supportive is your boyfriend especially about your PCOS? Maybe you can have him visit this website (especially the boyfriends and husbands section) so he better understand what you go through...
Take care!
Hi Carrie!
Welcome to SC! Although I do not suffer from bipolar, I lived with a man that was. When we first moved in together, he was taking all sorts of meds for it. After doing some research, we worked on both of us regulating our diets. That seemed to help him stop taking so many meds. It also helped me with my suffering of PCOS. Many woman have depression and mood swings due to PCOS. Some drs believe if you can regulate your hormones, the mood swings subside.
You will find much support with the cysters.
If you need to chat, someone is always there.
Keep your chin up - we are all here to help each other.
__________________ Me
DSS 5/30/04 (always will be mine)
A giant hug for you and words of encouragement. I'm bipolar spectrum, diagnosed a year and a half ago and my sister is PCOS. I'm not the best person for you to talk to as I know nothing about PCOS really (I only just realised today I have many linked symptoms), but I do know a bit about bipolar and wanted to say this: You are incredibly brave and strong to be facing up to your difficulties and trying to become a better person - many people in this world would benefit from the strength you have. You are on this board asking for help - a sign of your courage and perseverance. Not only this, but your experience will bring you empathy with others in distress. You are a person with a golden centre, and that will eventually flow to the outside. Take heart.
I know how hard it can be, especially if, like me, you get your hopes up that medicine will make you better and then sometimes it feels like it's not helping or making things (is it possible?) worse. Like you I'm still trying to find the correct balance of medication (currently I'm on paroxetine and sodium valproate - time to get off the latter quickly!). Make medication decisions your own as well as those of your doctor - your doctor does not have your insight into how you feel and therefore will not trouble him/herself over your state unless you stand up and say "hey, I don't feel good!". Your doctor may have a one-size-fits all approach that doesn't fit you. I'm no angel - twice now I've become so bull-headed and non-compliant about my treatment that I've had to leave "I'm sorry for getting so wound up and being so stubborn" cards and cookies at his office. At the end of all this, we respect each other and have become friends working together to make me better. Remember, the day you are cured is the day it no longer even crosses your mind how you feel. Until that day comes you deserve better, so research your options on the internet and keep trying. As my mum says, "If you find yourself walking through the valley of darkness, for God's sake keep walking!".
I believe you can make it.
I'm not always on the net, but will try to respond to any posts if I can.
my apologizes to all for not responding. This week has been a hard one. BF took off work early to stay home with me. Called my mom up (she lives 3 hours away) and she's been here all weekend. Tomorrow I have to be across town to meet with inspectors for our soon to be new house so mom has offered to contacts as many places as possible to get things under control, including my current PCP. We're all going to work together to figure out a treatment plan that won't break us.
I wanted to say thank you to all of you for your thoughts and prayers. I'm not sure how often i'll be checking in here with the moving and and whatnot but i'll try to check in. I do leave my AIM and yahoo logged in invisible a lot so feel free to leave me a msg if you want to check in.
I know I just got here and i'm disappearing but it's just the timing with the house. Cross your fingers for us on that as well. We're so excited!!
Good luck with your new house and move! That is a great way to keep occupied. I was thinking about your situation this weekend (it was a rough weekend for me). I have found when I eat healthier, drink lots of water, and keep myself occupied it helps with mood swings. As I stated earlier, it also helped my old boyfriend resolve some of his bipolar issues.
Since you have been diagnosed, have you found your swings to be more often? They can be connected.
Best of luck!
__________________ Me
DSS 5/30/04 (always will be mine)
today was hell day. House inspection plus mom is still in town trying to get me in with new doc (system here is very slow and i'm having rapid mood cycles) Trying to keep my spirits up but it's hard.
I have a history of drug abuse (sober 2+years) and that makes every doc labels me as an addict without trying to hear why I ever starting using in the first place. *sigh*
I actually still don't have a known diagnosis beyond addict, but combine my deep family history with my list of classic symptoms and anyone with and experience with bipolar will tell you I am.
Add to that ast week (TuWTh) I was taking meds for a chemical D&C after a full month of heaving bleeding and clots. Today I start spotting again. Dang it I just want a break!!!
*hugs* I'm sorry things are so hard for you. I'm not bipolar, but I do suffer from a depressive disorder which can get severe and can interfere with life. I hope things get better for you.
Tomorrow morning I go for a ultrasound because I started bleeding again. Chemical D&C was last TuWeTh so I got a whole weekend since May 3 of not bleeding. Cramping is worse than ever.
Then tomorrow evening we're meeting with a therapist and psychiatrist to discuss dx and meds because i'm not stable and extremely frustrated with my treatment so far.
Good news is my mom has been here ith me the whole time and my old best friends both recently contacted me and are being very loving and supportive
I still have a long way to go but thank you all who have let me babble here and via IM. I still haven't read much here but i'm slowing making my way around.
Carrie, it's never too late to get healthy. I was diagnosed Bipolar at age 21 and learned about the PCOS when I was 28. I'm now 39 and starting to treat both. It is not an easy thing to do, especially when you are depressed. But, you just have to take that first step.
It doesn't sound like your meds are working. You have to work with your doctor to find the right cocktail for you. The doctor isn't always right. You know your body and your mind. You know what side effects you are willing to live with. Keep trying, sweetie. It's not easy, but I can testify that life is soooo much better when you are on the right medications.
Good luck. Feel free to PM me or email me or reach me on yahoo messenger if you want to talk.
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well they didn't really say anything at the u/s today but told me my MD should have the results tomorrow so that's where we are now. Mom has to go back home tonight but my bf and other friends are still here for me are doing all they can to keep me in good spirits. I'm so overwhelmed at times with fear of nothing but in between those I do feel better because I at least know something is finally being done.
Oh and to crazyfatchick, please pm me or add me on yahoo. I would really like to talk but I can't seem to figure out the pm thing on here yet.
new here and very lonely 
Update of sorts 
but my bf and other friends are still here for me are doing all they can to keep me in good spirits. I'm so overwhelmed at times with fear of nothing but in between those I do feel better because I at least know something is finally being done.
