Talia522

My story is not unlike many that I have read in this forum but it is mine so here goes...

It all started when I was 13 and got my first period. My mom and I didn't discuss it much but I had been to health class and pretty much new what to expect. She had bought me a pack of pads that was kept tucked away under the bathroom sink. When that day came, I was prepared and knew what to do. It wasn't until my first period lasted almost three weeks that I even told her. I'll never forget the night I went into her room in tears wondering why the bleeding wouldn't stop. I should add that it was so heavy that I would have to change my clothes several times daily because I would bleed right through the pad in a matter of hours.
Needless to say, she took me to a gyno who decided to put me on BCP. I took them for a few months and it literally made me sick. I would go months between periods and I was told it was "normal" because I was so young.
Another memorable night a few months later my family and I were out at the movies. I was of course on my period, which I was 80% of the time anyways. I was experiencing VERY bad cramps as usual, but I figured it was what most women complained about since I had nothing to compare it too. It wasn't until I fainted in the lobby of the theater because of the excruciating pain that we realized something was really wrong.
My mom decided to bring me to her gyno who did blood tests and ultrasounds and decided that "some people just get it worse than others". She put me on the Depo shot at 15. I stayed on the shot for several months, went through agonizing mood swings and continued to bleed constantly and have painful cramping. Eventually they decided to give me DOUBLE dose shots in hopes to control the bleeding. It worked for a while, but you can only imagine the emotional issues that went along with it. I finally decided that I didn't want to continue injecting my body with foreign substances, especially of that magnitude, for fear of not being able to concieve when I got older. I went off any kind of treatment for a while and came to the conclusion that doctors sucked. (I was a teenager...at that point EVERYONE sucked).
When I was 17 I was getting my nails done for prom when the painful cramps came back again. I had gotten used to the discomfort and the HEAVY flow by this point and pretty much just dealt with it. I started getting light headed from the pain and ran outside to get some air. Again, I fainted. So back to yet another doctor who recommended BCPs (which I refused) and the BC patch (didn't like that one either).
Years went by and I dealt. No one could figure out what it was and I was sick of hearing that it was normal. In my mind, having blood clots the size of golf balls during your period just did not seem normal.
When I went to college I went to the gyno at the clinic. She listened to my story (again) looked over my medical records (again) and decided to put me on BCP (again). I was living with my boyfriend at the time so I decided to give it a shot. For once, it actually worked! I was never normal, but instead of bleeding for 6 weeks straight and then not for 5 months, I was happy. They were lighter and not nearly as painful.
This lasted a few years and then of course stopped working.
I decided to go off everything and let nature take its course. I was back to being irregular, and in pain and bleeding very heavily. Not to mention an emotional mess. There were times it was so painful it felt like someone was taking razor blades to my insides. I would scratch my own skin just to feel a different kind of pain.
I am still this way to this day. My periods are coming more frequently (like 2 weeks on 2 weeks off. 3 weeks on 1 week off) but nowhere near normal. I am 27 years old and when I get my period I have to wake up 3x a night to change my tampon (superplus WITH a pad) otherwise I will wake up in a pool of blood. I am a third grade teacher and on those days, I have to excuse myself once an hour or it will be disasterous. (Sorry to be so graphic, but I'm hoping SOMEONE can relate).
I finally began seeing a new gyno about a year ago (I FINALLY have health insurance). I was diagnosed with HPV a few months ago (for the first time despite all of the testing I've gone through). She is aware of my history and for the first time someone is NOT telling me this is normal. She did some blood work a few weeks ago and sent me for a transvaginal ultrasound. Low and behold, the ultrasound (which I've had done at least 3x before) showed that I have cysts on my ovaries. When I called in to get the hormone readings today, she said they were significantly off. She said they were 24 to 5.6 (still not sure EXACTLY what that means). And that all of my symptoms point to PCOS. She wasn't able to go into too much detail over the phone, but she told me to do some research-which led me to this site. I am very overwhelmed, but I am trying not to get freaked out about it. I don't have any extra hair growth, nor do I have acne problems (just a few breakouts now and then). I am also not thin, but my doctor doesn't consider me overweight-although I have gained abotu 15 pounds in the last year and a half. I don't know of any other medical problems I have, aside from the HPV which I don't think is related. I do have anxiety issues and suffer from panic attacks. I was actually hospitalized for it about 2 years ago. I refuse to take medication for that too and I have learned to deal with it as best I can. I wonder if anyone else suffers from this. Is it linked? What do you do for it?
I guess I am just wondering where to go from here. I have so many questions and although I have a loving mother and 2 AMAZING best friends, they don't understand what I have/am going through. My biggest fear is not being able to have children. I know there is no way to be sure until I start trying (which I am not ready to do yet)-but I'm sure its a fear most people with this condition have. Everyone says to just relax, that its not a big deal, but I've always considered myself to be a pretty healthy person. I am reading so many different things and all of the other health risks. I never really had medical insurance until recently and based on my experiences I am very wary of doctors.
Is there a test for insulin resistance? Who do I seek for that help?
Are there other tests I should get? Should I go back on the BCPs even though they make me crazy? Are there alternative treatments? Does a change in diet help? Exercise? Am I worrying for nothing?
I'm sorry to be so lengthy in this, and if you've read this far I THANK YOU!
Any advice, words of encouragement or anyone who has dealt with a similar situation-I would LOVE to hear from you.

Dazed and Confused and Looking for Answers...