 newbie post/depression
Well, I've been here before...to the main site and read posts off and on over the years...but now I'm a member...yippee!
Okay...here's my intro...
Just a quick (or not...) introduction and a question:
You can find out more about me personally by reading my profile...but as for the PCOS:
~Always had a bit of excess hair on my arms and face but always got my period like clockwork and my health was pretty good when I was young...
~Life events led to depression/anxiety in my early 20's...
~First "sign" something was wrong: at age 23
Severe pain on right side-near where my ovary is located
Went to ER-nurse's hotline thought I might have had an "ecoptic" pregnancy
Found nothing-sent home and told to take Advil
~Never thought about it till years later
~Weight gain started around 23-25... got up to 200 lbs. from 160 (which is healthy for my frame) but was 130 in high school.
~Period became non-existent/irregular in earnest after 25 years old.
~Did lots of pregnancy tests!
~All doctors/gyns/nurses said: eat better, take BC, de-stress somehow.
~Started noticing other symptoms: severe cystic acne like I have never have, black hairs growing everywhere, skin tags, darkening of skin, extreme fatigue... and now...my breasts are decreasing...and look like empty sacs! They used to be round, beautiful and "full"... [IMG]file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/CHRIST%7E1/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msohtml1/01/clip_image001.gif[/IMG]Ha, ha...
~After tests that were always inconclusive...
~After being blown off since I wasn't TTC...
~After my own research...and realizing that pain I had felt years ago was probably due to my body trying to ovulate or maybe a cyst bursting???
~After an ultrasound...but never got results because I was laid off...and couldn't afford the visit...
~FINALLY DIAGNOSED by a free clinic last year...and at my all time weight of 245 lbs... (YIKES!)
~GYN said: your ovary (right) is three times the normal size. I laid there and cried...FINALLY!
However... the lack of motivation due to anxiety, stress, depression and other problems in my life... I just have not been able to stick to any diet and/or exercise plan. I did manage to lose 20 lbs. by just eating when I was starving and stopping when I was full...but then my emotions took back over and I've gained 6 lbs. back. So now I’m at 226… I just want to get back down to 160…one of these days!
Anyway... I finally decided to sign up here and get some support from all of you... I have very little support in my life and no one understands how this feels... I'm not TTC...but the physical symptoms and the emotional symptoms are destroying my life and preventing me from moving on to my goals and whatnot.
Now for my question-which I probably already know the answer to...
This breast decrease thing...once this happens... and once you get back to "normal"...if possible...will they "fill back up" to a normal size? I hate how they look now... They used to be fibrous, round and full as I said…and I could feel my milk glands...they were in great shape...but now they just hang there and feel empty... I'm not really that vain...but I wish they'd go back to normal! And implants are not an option...I don't believe beauty should equal pain...and cutting into skin... YUK!
Okay...I'm done rambling now!
Have a great day everyone!
Christy/autumngirl
I posted this as an intro but I suffer from anxiety and depression a lot... I just had a panic attack the other night... GOD-I wish I could just turn off my brain from all the stress! | 
