A lady by the name of Suzanne (I have no idea what her username is here) recommended I come over here, from a debate board at another site.
I had gone off hormonal birth control last May out of health concerns, and because we'd planned to TTC within about 12 months. By August, my periods were lighter and far between. My last confirmed ovulation was in August. My last 'natural' AF was October 9th, but that was really only 3 days of spotting. I kept getting positive pregnancy tests, amongst dozens of negatives, so I spent a lot of time with doctors.
One thought I was pregnant and sent me for a TV ultrasound in January. Report said 'all clear' but there were many, many follicles visible on one ovary. I was referred to an OB, who did some bloodwork back in April and put me on Provera to trigger a withdrawal bleed, which it did.
Even though I was 90% sure the diagnosis was coming... it's still kind of heartbreaking. I just was officially diagnosed today.
My husband and I had been planning to TTC this year, but we broke up back in September and will be divorcing this fall. I have baby fever like mad and I work with a bunch of pregnant women. My son is *obsessed* with babies and asks for his own baby all the time. I have been looking forward to being pregnant this year ever since my son was born. It was *The Plan* for years.
I have had three - likely four - miscarriages. I am not sure I can do that again. With my history, I have something like a 60% chance of miscarrying again if I can even conceive anymore.
I talked to my mother about that and she said "Oh *everyone* in our family gets pregnant easily. You won't have any trouble." I just wanted to SCREAM at her. I don't need a reminder that I am, yet again, the black sheep in the family. The only praiseworthy thing I have ever done in my parents' eyes is have my son, and now I can't even produce more grandchildren for them!
I feel like half a woman. I've been crying most of the afternoon. It seems like absolutely everything in my life has gone to crap in the past 10 months, and I just really need a hug.
I hope I can find some acceptance here. PEI (where I live) seems to be in the midsts of a baby boom, and I really need somewhere to escape from the rampant fertility, when it seems like mine has decided to abandon me.
You will definately find acceptance and support here. I was diagnosed 2 months and felt devastated and this site has really helped me to realise its not the be all and end all..... Not only is this site full or really useful information but everyone here are a massive help and really friendly when you need information or just to let it all out! x
I'm sorry divorces are hard, if you need to talk or vent just pm me. I went through one about 2 years ago, and even though it was the BEST move i've ever made, it still was very very hard. I was fortunate not to have children though, it speeds things up and makes things easier.
One thing you said did alarm me. I'm kind of the family's black sheep too, but honey just because they have issues with there concept of who you are, don't let that make you feel like the only worth you have is making grandbabies for them. You are an individual capable of so much more than just spitting out babies, and if they don't see that, don't beat yourself up for it. If you can't have another baby, you can always adopt, or foster, i know it's not the same as being pregnant, but don't feel like you don't have options. At least you already have a beautiful son who loves you
people who dont take the time to learn and understand the condition shouldnt even have their opinions listened too. its ignorant of your mother not to be more supportive of you in a time you really need that extra bit of confidence and love. as much as you cant make her understand what you are going thru and what you are faced with, hopefully with time and possibly a little motivation from you she may change her attitude. i wish you all the luck in conceiving, i can really appreciate how heart breaking it can be to go thru that many m/c, but dont forget you have a son already, and as much as you may want more children, you have a miracle there for you to love and that should be more your focus, rather then on the negative things, cuz that can really bring you down, and possibly make you feel more hopeless. its amazing what a little paradigm shift can do for you.
take care, and we all here have an ear to listen to you with.
heather
Newly diagnosed... rather devastated 
im sorry that your mum didnt say the right thing!
