I had posted a while back about my nephew and his girlfriend having a baby. Neither of them wants it, she's not even 100% sure that my nephew is the father. Today my brother in law called me and asked me to call the girlfriends mom because they were going to go ahead with an abortion. My brother in law does not want this to happen but like the rest of us has very little control. We had mentioned to my brother in law that we would gladly take the baby if they were interested in adoption so he wanted me to let them know that they had other options. I called the mom this morning and left her a message basically indicating that if they were considering adoption that we would be glad to speak with them and they can go from there. I made sure to indicate that i did not want to pressure them and I just wanted have them consider us. I received a call from my husband that the girlfriend (Heather) had heard my message to her mom and told wanted me to stop pressuring her (interesting choice of words) and to go get my own baby and leave her alone. Ouch! If only it were that simple. I realize these words are coming from a scared 16 year old that hasn't got a clue but I have to admit, they stung. I would never let my husband know but I have been crying since he got off the phone with me. I am praying for this girl that she decides to either keep her baby or let someone else adopt it. It is so upsetting when you want a baby so badly and other people don't want theirs and are willing to get rid of it rather than let someone else take it. I know that we all go through similar ups and downs and I know that you girls probably understand better than my friends or family. Thanks for listening.
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And GOD will bless you for being the kind person of wanting to take that unwanted child into your home. SO all GOOD DEEDS will be blessed you will see.
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Wow...I'm so sorry. As a mother of two children who aren't mine by birth, it never ceases to amaze me at the sheer selfishness of some people, specifically some females. The only reason I have my two youngest is because my dh put his foot down and didn't allow his ex to get an abortion. She didn't want kids, he did.
She eventually got the first one taken away by the courts, and pretty much abandoned the youngest at 3months.
I'm not saying this girl is the same way. It still hurts when others try to turn your generosity and love around on you.
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I am so sorry to hear that, I myself had a child at 16, I was very scared but I was lucky I had a family that would support any option I made. The only two options I would consider was keep her or adoption..in the end even though I was only 16 I knew there was no way I could give my child up, maybe in the end she will make a good choice..I know how hard it is on both you and her, I just hope she can use her words alittle more wisely in the future.
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It sucks that she got so snotty about it.
But please remember that even though you did have the best of intentions in calling her, she's a scared 16yr old that is facing a very huge, life changing situation, one in which no option is an easy was out. Approaching a scared/angry teen is something I avoid at all costs, lol, I don't like getting my head bitten off.
You nephew really should have been the one to broach the subject with her & it wasn't exactly fair to either you or his gf that he asked you to call her. He could have asked her what she thought of it & then given her your number or even you hers. How close are you to her?
Sorry to say it, but I would be mad too if I were her.
Of course abortion is a right everyone has & while it may not seem like a wise decision to us, maybe it's what she feels is best for her.
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And GOD will bless you for being the kind person of wanting to take that unwanted child into your home. SO all GOOD DEEDS will be blessed you will see.
Thank you Chula. I know you are right. I do believe that the Lord will bless us both. I am sorry for all that you are going through.
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Wow...I'm so sorry. As a mother of two children who aren't mine by birth, it never ceases to amaze me at the sheer selfishness of some people, specifically some females. The only reason I have my two youngest is because my dh put his foot down and didn't allow his ex to get an abortion. She didn't want kids, he did.
She eventually got the first one taken away by the courts, and pretty much abandoned the youngest at 3months.
I'm not saying this girl is the same way. It still hurts when others try to turn your generosity and love around on you.
Samie, I had no idea. I think you are an amazing person for taking on that responsibility and I am so thankful that your DH was able to convince her not to have an abortion. I totally agree that women can be incredibly selfish, but I am thankful for people like you that have been able to make a difference. I feel that in the end I did the right thing and even though she may have been upset or offended, at least she knows that the option will always be there.
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I am so sorry to hear that, I myself had a child at 16, I was very scared but I was lucky I had a family that would support any option I made. The only two options I would consider was keep her or adoption..in the end even though I was only 16 I knew there was no way I could give my child up, maybe in the end she will make a good choice..I know how hard it is on both you and her, I just hope she can use her words alittle more wisely in the future.
It sounds like you have been through a lot, and I am so glad that you were able to keep your child with the support of your family. A supportive family can make all the difference in the world. I hope too in the future she will choose her words more wisely but I do feel for her as she does not have a supportive family and they are divided on whether or not she should have the baby, or get an abortion.
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It sucks that she got so snotty about it.
But please remember that even though you did have the best of intentions in calling her, she's a scared 16yr old that is facing a very huge, life changing situation, one in which no option is an easy was out. Approaching a scared/angry teen is something I avoid at all costs, lol, I don't like getting my head bitten off.
You nephew really should have been the one to broach the subject with her & it wasn't exactly fair to either you or his gf that he asked you to call her. He could have asked her what she thought of it & then given her your number or even you hers. How close are you to her?
Sorry to say it, but I would be mad too if I were her.
Of course abortion is a right everyone has & while it may not seem like a wise decision to us, maybe it's what she feels is best for her.
I do understand what you are saying, and I also understand how she must feel because she is being pulled in a million different directions by many people. I actually did not call her though. Since she is only 16 I called her mom and asked her to let her daughter know that it was an option if they were interested (the mother had previously indicated that she would be open to discussing adoption, but not specifically with anyone) My brother in law (my nephew's father) was actually the one who asked me to call because he had spoken with her mom and had let her know that we would be willing to take the baby and he said she seemed amenable to at least discussing that. I understand why she would be upset, especially if she was not aware that her mom was discussing this with anyone but she also needs to start taking responsibility, and her and my nephew need to figure out what they are going to do. In the end you're right, it is up to her what she does, but I could not live with myself if I had not at least TRIED to offer a solution other than abortion.
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I do understand what you are saying, and I also understand how she must feel because she is being pulled in a million different directions by many people. I actually did not call her though. Since she is only 16 I called her mom and asked her to let her daughter know that it was an option if they were interested (the mother had previously indicated that she would be open to discussing adoption, but not specifically with anyone) My brother in law (my nephew's father) was actually the one who asked me to call because he had spoken with her mom and had let her know that we would be willing to take the baby and he said she seemed amenable to at least discussing that. I understand why she would be upset, especially if she was not aware that her mom was discussing this with anyone but she also needs to start taking responsibility, and her and my nephew need to figure out what they are going to do. In the end you're right, it is up to her what she does, but I could not live with myself if I had not at least TRIED to offer a solution other than abortion.
Oh, I was under the impression that you nephew just asked you to talk to her mother w/o their knowledge. I don't think you were wrong in offering, I would have too.
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Hang in there honey!
She very well may have a change of heart. Its still really early isn't it?
And thank you for the very kind words. Somedays I just wonder if I'm nuts for taking on everything, but in the end I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my DH, and he's a wonderful father, and I am grateful everyday our life has turned out the way it has.
He's taken on the role of daddy to my two (from a previous marriage) as well.
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"
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~Eleanor Roosevelt
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Hang in there honey!
She very well may have a change of heart. Its still really early isn't it?
And thank you for the very kind words. Somedays I just wonder if I'm nuts for taking on everything, but in the end I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my DH, and he's a wonderful father, and I am grateful everyday our life has turned out the way it has.
He's taken on the role of daddy to my two (from a previous marriage) as well.
I am hoping that she will. I believe she is about 4 months
I am so glad that you and DH are there for each other. It's a very special thing have someone who will love your child like their own and you both have that in each other. It's not everyone who is willing or even able to take on that task. I hope that things settle down for you, and don't forget to take time for yourself every once in a while. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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I am hoping that she will. I believe she is about 4 months
I am so glad that you and DH are there for each other. It's a very special thing have someone who will love your child like their own and you both have that in each other. It's not everyone who is willing or even able to take on that task. I hope that things settle down for you, and don't forget to take time for yourself every once in a while. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
You are just so sweet! I normally don't share these aspects of my life, because, well...its my life, and I don't feel as though I've done anything that extraordinary. I guess its from being a step-child myself, and also from having a mother who taught me that every child should be cherished and loved, and celebrated. I guess I fall into the thought pattern that everyone else feels the same way To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
You are a great person, and I am truly praying things turn out wonderful for you.
__________________ Sam (30)
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"
"A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water."
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I went through a similar situation. My high school friend got pregnant about 4 years ago and totally neglected her daughter (my god daughter). She then got pregnant again (virtually back to back) while money was tight before, after she had her son it was insane to bring another child into the situation. I offered to take the baby MANY times and spent thousands of dollars going to HER home and taking care of HER children. I now know I should have done the right thing off the bat and reported her to CPS but I guess I was hoping to save the kids. She finally told me that it wasn't her fault I wasn't a "real" woman because evidently "real" women were lazy slobs that let their daughter get bleeding raging diaper rash's and allow their son to sleep in a dripping wet diaper all night... and day... UGH! I have to remind myself from time to time that these babies are born to the mothers they are for a reason... but It's hard not to want to scoop them up and lavish the oceans of maternal love I have bottled up on them.
Still to this day I have dreams of randomly being given an unwanted baby... guess that's why they call them dreams huh?
So sorry she was so snotty to you. Try not to let it get you down too much.
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11-19-09 weigh in time... drum roll please... I LOST %) POUNDS!
11-20-09 Started a new cycle! yay second AF I invited all on my own EVER!!!
11-24-09 first dose of soy isoflavones YAY one step closer!
11-28-09 last dose of soy isoflavones tonight. Getting too excited!
Very sad when someone chooses to end a life rather than give it to someone who wants it. Its heartbreaking,but sometimes being selfish is how people are. I hope she changes her mind.
no good deed goes unpunished :-( kinda long 
