I can't do anything since I've been back from my trip to Ohio. I don't feel at home in this house. I miss Joshua so much I literally don't want to get out of bed. I have a ton of laundry to do, the house to clean and I need to get ready before my Mom gets home so we can go to the grocery... I have NO motivation to do any of this. I physically don't feel well and I think its because mentally I'm a wreck. I haven't told Joshua about this, but its getting pretty bad, and I've only been back a few days... *sigh*
I haven't slept well at all since I've been back, going to sleep late and waking early. I'm sure that has something to do with my physically feeling bad.
Anyways, I'm just sort of ranting. I'm lonely for him and can't imagine at least another year apart, but its definitely going ot be that way (hopefully with a few visits back and forth in between).
I'm so ready to have my life with him, but that can't happen yet. I just sometimes wish he'd ask me to marry him and get it done by eloping and then we would never have to be apart again. *sigh*
__________________ Amber (30) & DH Joshua (28) My Dx:Hypothyroid age 16 Syndrome X including Hypothyroidism, PCOS, High Cholesterol, & Insulin Resistance age 21 Vitamin D Deficiency age 30 My Rx:Synthroid, Lipitor, Yasmin, Vitamin D Supplement, Align
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I know its hard for you, but the both of you are building your futures right now. Its going to benefit your relationship in the future. The two of you are going to have a wonderful life together!
Amber,
(((hugs))) Please don't be sad everything will be ok. I know long distance relationships are hard but you guys will be together real soon.
__________________ Amy Diagnosed with PCOS in 2002 irregular cycles Metformin 850mg 2x a day To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Awwww. Big hugs to you Amber! Its so hard to be away from the one you love! I cant imagine how hard it was for you to get back on the plane. It will get better.
__________________
Tammy-32 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ryan-36
Married May 10, 2008
RNY GBS August 10, 2004-330/151/165
Below my goal and officially no longer overweight!
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Look for me on the WLS Divas thread!
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Thanks ladies. I don't mean to sound like a spoiled brat by any means, but I just hate being away from him. I know how blessed I am to have a great man who loves me and treats me wonderfully... I just wish I could see him more at least. Two weeks and two days with him just ruined me I think. I can't get used to him not being there. It went too fast and I'm just pretty miserable. I know we're both working on being together by getting an education so we can build our lives together in the future and I'm very grateful for both of our opportunities, but its just so damn hard.
I know it will get better with each passing day, but right now its just really hard. I know he's going thru it too, which is why I haven't bugged him with it. I can hear in his voice on the phone how lonely he is. At least I have my Mom here with me, but he's pretty much alone at school. He has a lot of homework, class, and things to keep him busy which I don't have yet... *sigh*
I know I'm whining.. I don't want anyone to think I'm not grateful... Because God knows I am... I wouldn't give anything for my relationship with Joshua. He is truly a God sent to me. Its just really hard being so far away from the one you know you are meant to be with.
__________________ Amber (30) & DH Joshua (28) My Dx:Hypothyroid age 16 Syndrome X including Hypothyroidism, PCOS, High Cholesterol, & Insulin Resistance age 21 Vitamin D Deficiency age 30 My Rx:Synthroid, Lipitor, Yasmin, Vitamin D Supplement, Align
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Amber you dont sound ungrateful hun. You sound sad and like you miss your man. Which is completely understandable. He seems like a sweety! You go ahead and be a little sad. We'll let you cry all you want!
__________________
Tammy-32 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ryan-36
Married May 10, 2008
RNY GBS August 10, 2004-330/151/165
Below my goal and officially no longer overweight!
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Look for me on the WLS Divas thread!
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I just wanted to say that I know it's hard right now, but I am sitting here talking to my husband. We spent two years apart with infrequent visits before we finally got married, so I know about missing someone and thinking you will never be together. But trust me, Joshua sounds like a great guy and I believe you are going to make it until you can be together.
__________________ Kati (29)
DH Vince (27)
Married 1-29-05 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Never TTC -- Straight to Adoption
DD Yuna
Born in the USA 10-01-06 -- Finalized 4-12-07
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Thanks ya'll for being so understanding. Like I said its just really hard right now. To make matters worse, when I called him tonight we just kinda sat there silently with nothing to say for several minutes. There are just times when we don't have anything particular to say, and when we're together we can just cuddle up and watch tv or something... But now we're right back to the stupid telephone with nothing to say to each other. *sigh* So I let him just let him go after saying goodbyes. This really sucks...
__________________ Amber (30) & DH Joshua (28) My Dx:Hypothyroid age 16 Syndrome X including Hypothyroidism, PCOS, High Cholesterol, & Insulin Resistance age 21 Vitamin D Deficiency age 30 My Rx:Synthroid, Lipitor, Yasmin, Vitamin D Supplement, Align
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Carey(31) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Paul(43)
Married 7-25-02
PCOS Diagnosed Nov 02'
Bi Polar Diagnosed Feb 08'
Current meds~ Lithium&Celexa
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i know how you feel sweetie! i just got back from a weeks vacation when i had the wonderous opportunity to meet my natural father, and it was great, but now that i am home my emotional high is wearing off, and i am just feeling sad cause i wanna see him so badly and get another hug
your feelings are normal hun. i know it's hard but we just kinda have to try and focus on wonderful memories
(((((hugs)))))
__________________ DX: Sept/03 Me 31 & DH 35 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
PCOS:Metformin 1500mgs daily(Oct/03). Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Type II: Effexor 225 mgs, .5mgs clonazapam, and 900mgs Lithium daily. litebook therapy(Dec/04). Meniere's Disease: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 16mgs Serc and 10-20mgs Metoclop
Thanks for the hugs and continued support. It really does help and I thank ya'll.
I did a couple of loads of laundry today. I at least have a few clothes to last me a couple of days. I so miss waking up with him just *RIGHT* there. I miss seeing him off to classes and having him come home again a few hours later. I miss cooking meals on a hotplate. I miss reading silently to myself while he does homework just a couple of feet away. I miss tickle fights and making out and cuddling... *sigh*
As you can tell, I'm still pretty down. I'm trying to be positive... But... This just sucks! And to top it off I want to buy things I can't afford because I think it'll make me feel better, but I haven't cause I'm dead broke. I want an Mp3 player so bad I can taste it... Geez, what's wrong with me!
Ok, rant over. Thanks for listening.
__________________ Amber (30) & DH Joshua (28) My Dx:Hypothyroid age 16 Syndrome X including Hypothyroidism, PCOS, High Cholesterol, & Insulin Resistance age 21 Vitamin D Deficiency age 30 My Rx:Synthroid, Lipitor, Yasmin, Vitamin D Supplement, Align
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No motivation right now... :( 
he loves you and he's out there and love can cross barriers of time, distance and even anger
be happy to know you are loved
