Yes I have ZERO sex drive.
I hate when DH even looks at me funny!
I cant stand when he touches me or hugs me or tries to passionate kiss me. I just feel YUCK!
What can I do to help my drive (non medication wise).
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Taking Time Off From TTC .
Nov14,2007
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I am the same way. I mean I don't feel grossed out when guys touch me or kiss me but I feel like I could go forever without it. But like they say if you don't use it, it goes away. I suggest in order to stay in the mix, reading a good romance novel. or cosmo has tips and stories about sex and relationships. You'd be surprise, something in there might trigger your sex back into high gear! good luck...
The very first thing that you can do is excercise. Get at least 30 minutes a day (doesn't have to be all at once) of cardio excercise. This won't be an immediate cure, but after a few weeks when you're not sore anymore your libido will start to pick back up.
Another thing you can do is find a way to let go of stress. Meditation works for some people, a hobby works for others, working out at the gym works for some....but find what works for you and start doing it REGULARLY. Stress kills the sex drive faster than just about anything else.
TALK to your husband and let him know not only how you are feeling, but that it isn't him that is making you feel this way (unless it is) and that you are taking steps to improve this part of your physiology so that you can enjoy each other again. Ask him to be encouraging and maybe even to excercise with you to help you stay motivated. (Won't hurt him any!) But keep the lines of communication open so that he's not feeling rejected, which will make him hit on you more, which will make you feel worse.
And while it's never a good idea to make a habit of it, don't underestimate the benefits of a nice glass or two of wine over dinner.
i am the same, but lately i have been grinning and bearing it... but i mean once you get started then you start to feel a bit better and a bit more sexy....we are ttc and i find if i use preseed without df knowing, he feels more at ease and it makes me feel better when he thinks im into it then its enjoyable for both of us...maybe get some preseed and think sexy when he touches you... feel like your the sexiest women on earth, close your eyes and think and know your sexy and while your eyes are closed feel the presents of the one you love, and think of it as making love, put some music you love on, just relax and get caught up in the moment... trust me, i have no sexdrive but once i put the preseed in, put some of my favorite music on and think about how much i love df... the "yuck" feeling goes away... this may not work for everyone but i thought id pitch in my opinion because it works for me...and theres no harm in trying huh?
HTH GOOD LUCK
__________________ ashie XoXo
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ttc since feb 2005 metformin 2000mg march 30th 09 IUI ~ 3 good follies! BFP!!!!
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Never underestimate setting the mood! You're absolutely right!
I LOVE candle light for having sex. It allows us to see each other but allows me free movement without worrying how my belly rolls look or anything silly like that. Men don't even SEE all these flaws, but WE do, and that's all it takes; isn't it!! But candle light is awesome for that. I like to pick a cinnamon based scent because it's kind of a turn on...pumpkin is another aphrodesiac scent but mostly for men. Women seem to like cucumber?? lol Not me! But hey -- pick whatever works for you!!!
And lubricant is a MUST!!! When it's hard to get in the mood you don't need to be contending with dryness on top of everything else!
I don't usually do music....we have a fan for white noise in the bedroom and I just turn that on -- silence kills the mood, but any noise at all works for me.
I was the same way about a month ago when I was going to the PCOS specialist a lot, and having PCOS on my mind all the time made me feel gross. I felt like all the parts in my body that make me a woman were destroyed with cysts and tumors, so why would I feel sexy? BF has been wonderful in understanding, but one day I told myself to snap out of it and realize this man really loves me and I should love myself too.
Hope you get it figured out!
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*~*Andrea*~*
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Um yeah, I'm with Sweetpea... having PCOS makes me feel less of a woman and I don't feel sexy or want it ever! But I agree with a poster above that exercise definately helps for some reason!!
I'm still waiting to enjoy sex, until then, I give in once a week and make sure he uses lots of lube. Grin and bear it is sad, but it keeps him from going insane. I'm hoping that getting closer to my pre-preggo body will help me. Oh, and a romantic vacation can't hurt either. You can also try porn and a vibe...can't hurt to try.
I think your issue might be more about something besides your physical body though...related to your other post.
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