What do you do when your best friend refuses to acknowledge that there is something wrong and there are symptoms there and then when asked to be there for a bit of extra support cuz im new and kinda freaked out and confused doesnt want to. I dont know how to get her on board with helping me out a bit and spending a little more time with me so i have someone to bounce things off of about this. I tried to talk to her a couple times this last year that ive been going through the testing/diagnosis process about how little support i feel right now and she has now stopped talking to me completely. i did my best not to bring it up to often so i wouldnt be to pushy about it but im so frusterated cuz everything that she goes thru i make sure im there and available for her. this is the first time ive asked her for anything extra from our relationship and i get shafted. are there any suggestions? at this point, im not sure i want to continue the relationship cuz she isnt someone i can count on when i have always been there for her. does anybody know a good way of making people in your life aware of what you are suffering from and how you are suffering from it? im really lost and really dont have anyone else in my life to lean on so im kinda desperate. thanx ladies!
I would advise you to stop wasting your energy on her. I've experienced that same issue with a "friend" that has been in my life for years. We talked every day and hung out all of the time. Like you, I was there for her for every major and minor crisis she had and it was never reciprocated. After months of trying to talk to her about this, I got so angry that I finally told her exactly how she made me feel, and we are no longer friends. My best advice would be to let go of that relationship, as life is too short for insincere friendships.
I'd agree you should surround yourself around people who truly care about you. Its hard enough being a woman and then WE have the added stresses of PCOS. It sounds like your "friend" doesnt really care about you.
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unfortunately you cannot make someone support you. I have lost several friends because they just did not know how to be true friends. Some people just are not the friends you need. They can be the buddies you hang out with, gossip with, or whatever purpose they serve but they cannot be 100% true friends, and that has to be okay eventually. You have to make the decision to have her in your life on the basis of what your relationship is, meaning accept her for not being there for you, or you have to move on. Maybe she will come to her senses, but you cannot make her. Sucks. If you feel it's worth it, try talking to her again. Either way, you have people on her to talk to.
__________________ ME/DH 32 TTC since 2001 DX 2002
Proud Mama of the Amazing Rockstar - born 10/16/09
Sadly my babies went to heaven too soon at 15 weeks (October 2008)
Thanks guys, its been kinda a hard last couple of weeks, I cut the ties that were there. I feel sad, as we were friends for 8 years, and this is the first time i asked her for anything but im feeling better in alot of other ways about it. i feel a little less stressed. thanx for your advice and taking the time to reply.
My sister-in-law and I used to be very close. We're not so much anymore because she told me it was easier for HER if I don't mention my PCOS or missing my little angel in heaven (which I didn't do very often). She told me, "She didn't understand why I couldn't just "get over it" and move on. What's done is done and the baby died and I will always have PCOS, end of story." That pretty much ruined our wonderful friendship. I'm sorry "my reality" is too difficult for her to deal with. I thank God everyday for all of you Soulcysters because I felt so completely alone before I found all of you. (Heaven knows my husband does his best to be there for me, but I need to vent to someone other than him sometimes).
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My first thought was: She's not your "best friend" because BFF's do not behave that way. Or if they have those moments of rude behavior they usually make quick amends. I agree with what one poster said (to summarize): you have different friends that mean different things to you at different times in your life. A BEST FRIEND is always there.
I hope you know that this event was about her not you. In other words, it said more about her ability (or willingness) to help another cope with some hard facts. At best, she is immature.
If you feel that there are other aspects of her that delight you, then perhaps you can keep her as a "casual" friend and know that you cannot divulge your intimate thoughts, secrets, emotions and struggles. Which leads me to...
When it comes to PCOS I rarely discuss it with many people. It's a small circle (DH, some in my family, my BFF and a couple of close neighbors who happen to have their own female struggles in other areas) that are aware of my DX, the treatments and the struggles that I've been through. Grant it that I am closed lipped when it comes to private matters (I don't consider my health to be a public topic). So this website has been a lifesaver when it comes to venting and searching for answers and comradery. My keeping a lid on my PCOS while around others is what works for me.
I do hope that you continue to find support be it through this site, other sites or perhaps local support groups. There's nothing like tapping into the experiences, empathy and sage advice from other PCOS women. Please feel free to ask questions and don't ever feel alone!
Best of luck
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"A nation of sheeps begets a government of wolves."
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Hi,
I know what you're going through. Soon after I was diagnosed with PCOS (and with IC- a painful bladder condition) I ended up cutting ties with a friend I had since we were young teens. She suggested that it was "all in my head" and that I didn't "have these problems before". Sometimes as hard as one might try, they just can't changes others. Cut the negativity out of your life and if, and when, she is ready to return on your terms she will.
thank you guys for your support and for sharing your stories with me. its been months now since her and i have spoken, and i was very sad and hurt at first but im doing much better now, and i have met some new friends who seem pretty cool and understanding. its been refreshing knowing im not alone in having to make that type of decision. hope all is well for you girls and thanx so much again, this has helped more then you guys will ever know.
No support! 
if I don't mention my PCOS or missing my little angel in heaven (which I didn't do very often). She told me, "She didn't understand why I couldn't just "get over it" and move on. What's done is done and the baby died and I will always have PCOS, end of story." That pretty much ruined our wonderful friendship. I'm sorry "my reality" is too difficult for her to deal with. I thank God everyday for all of you Soulcysters because I felt so completely alone before I found all of you. (Heaven knows my husband does his best to be there for me, but I need to vent to someone other than him sometimes).
