Is this normal?

zackaboosmom · 07-31-2005, 08:55 PM

Dh and I are going through a really hard time right now...and I know alot of the problem is me. Lately I feel like I just can't stand him...I don't want him near me, I don't want him to touch me, I don't want to talk to him. I just have so much anger towards him and I really don't know why. It doesn't make me feel good to be this way. We've only been married for 10 1/2 months....I just don't see it getting any better. In a lot of ways I feel very very failed by him. He doesn't pay the bills on time, he got our car taken away because he didn't pay the car insurance, and we're stuck in an apartment that neither one of us likes. He swears constantly, even though I've asked him repeatedly not to because I have a 5 year old ds that will repeat what he hears. Any time one of my friends..and I really don't have many, is here when he gets home from work he gets a bad attitude with me and with them....I just feel fed up and don't know what to do. Whenever I try to talk to him he always turns everything around and takes it the wrong way. Sorry this is so long..I just have to let this out or I'll go crazy....

TracyW2 · 07-31-2005, 09:04 PM

{{{HUGS}}} I would suggest counseling. Cause if you guys dont get it quick, you might as well file for divorce. You need someone you WANT to be around. I cant stand being apart from my dh and that is what you need. He needs to respect you and your ds. He needs to grow up and know that he has responsibilities.
Honey I am so sorry you are having to go through this. They do say the first year is the hardest, but if you two arent willing to work on it, you might as well cut your losses.

good luck

~tracy

hurrihottie · 07-31-2005, 09:19 PM

were things like this before you got married??

zackaboosmom · 07-31-2005, 09:25 PM

No..they haven't always been this bad. I've gone through this stage in all of my serious relationships..I just don't want anyone to touch me....what is wrong with me????? I know he loves me, but I just feel, I don't know, irked my him. I feel like he doesn't listen to anything that I say and we're always having the same argument over and over again. I just don't know what I can say or do that will make him listen!!!

zackaboosmom · 07-31-2005, 10:30 PM

Well I just had a long talk with dh and we both got our concerns out. We've had a lot of stress over money lately and with me being diagnosed w/PCOS and ttc...it's just really stressing both of us out. We are going to work on this and try to keep our communication more open. Thanks for letting me rant. (((((HUGS))))) to all of you!

Suzi33 · 07-31-2005, 10:32 PM

Please speak to a counselor. It would help you immensly! A lot of times we just get so frustrated with everyday life, and take it out on each other. Maybe that is what is happening with you guys. I hope things work out for you! You will be in my prayers sweetie.

zackaboosmom · 07-31-2005, 10:57 PM

We're going to look into it. Thank you Suzi! I can use all the prayers I can get!!

sweetums · 07-31-2005, 11:14 PM

I just wanted to tell you that I'll be praying for you, and something that helps me is writing. When I feel like I am going to explode with anger because dh won't listen to me and I feel like I'm not getting my point across, I will either write him a letter or just write in my journal. It's amazing therapy to get things down on paper! I wish you all the luck in the world, hon.

Manders

cylynne · 07-31-2005, 11:42 PM

(((HUGS))) to you as well... you guys do need to look at possibly some couples counseling, if not both of you together then you can go by yourself. Hubby and I have gone through those tough stages... most of the time it is just like you said, outside life stuff that stresses you out, and we take it out on those we love most. Still, counseling is a good idea, they can help you guys deal with whatever stressful life stuff is going on. Take care!

SnowFlower · 08-04-2005, 12:14 AM

im sorry i hope things get better soon

hurrihottie · 08-04-2005, 12:32 AM

Well the talking is the first step..i wish you tons of happyness...good luck hun!!!

zackaboosmom · 08-04-2005, 11:47 AM

Thank you to all of you! We have been talking more...still arguing at times, but dh recently lost his license and it's stressing him out so so bad..but we'll get through it! Thanks for all your prayers and positive thoughts!!

QuiltingAllieKat · 08-05-2005, 04:56 PM

Zachaboo,

I hope that everything works out for you. I was in the same boat that you are and I can say that looking back I wish that I could have gotten my ex to go to counseling. I think that it might have saves our marriage. But we have both said to many things now to go back. I'll be praying for you.

kirvygerl · 08-05-2005, 05:37 PM

Hi Christy,
I am so sorry you are having a difficult time. Marriage is tough, and it takes two very committed people to make it work. It sounds like you guys have taken the first step in improving your relationship, and getting everything "out in the open" is a great way to get a relationship back on track. I second what the other posters have said about counseling. It would probably help you both out tremendously. Also, is your DH willing to improve on his money issues? Perhaps you two could both sit down and get all the bills together and track when they are due, how much they will be, and either draw up a budget or at least write down your expenditures. His behavior with the money will have a lasting impact on his life, and now yours because when you get married, for better or worse the other person's credit will impact both people. He needs to own up to his responsibilities and get this issue under control.

Many prayers for you and your DH~