Hi Ladies,
Its been a rough few weeks and I dont know if it all hormonal or what- but i recently realized that i do everything i can to avoid the mirror- for the most part- i will look only at my face (talk about denial) anyways- my question- does anyone see themselves one way and then when they see a picture of themselves you don't look like the same person? My face in the mirror looks different than the face in the pictures. I don't mean literally- but what it means to me is that I see myself one way (a little bit smaller) and when i see a photo of myself i am much bigger... any thoughts or advice? I am in a weekend next weekend and dreading taking pictures- I HATE how i Look... but i realize that what I see in the pictures is who i really am and what i really look like? confused? Me too!
Thanks!
Rachel
Hey It's okay, I feel the same way most of the time......I don't look into the mirror because I say I look like a man with the hair and all and I hate to shave everymorning but what I look like after wards is pretty good...LoL.....Since i have lost weight and redid my hair it's not so bad, But I totally know what you are going through!
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The killer thing is when I feel really confident. Like for my friend's wedding. I wore an outfit that I thought really flattered me. I thought I looked good.
Then I saw the pictures and the video. I actually asked "Is that how I really look?" It was devastating. I was huge and my face especially looked so fat, yet I don't see that when I look in the mirror.
I think we do sort of trick ourselves when we look in the mirror.
I always find myself posing in front of a mirror in a way I almost NEVER stand in real life. Its the whole suck in the gut, push out the girls and get the good angles on the face. The chances that I'll get that pose without looking are slim to none haha.
There is something called body dysmorphia that also includes distorted mental images of the face. I have been told by many people that I have good features and am pretty, etc., but I can't stand to look in a mirror or look at a picture of myself. When I put my makeup on I use a small compact mirror. What I see is not what everyone else sees. There are very few pictures that I approve of that have captured a certain angle of my face; others I delete or rip up because I don't want them around.
I am tall and have a thin body frame and any extra weight on it makes me look like the Michelin tire man. When I see pictures of my face when I'm overweight I notice how the extra weight makes my face look droopy. I try to remember that a camera adds pounds or catches expressions that aren't always complimentary, but I still can't stand to look at pictures of me.
And it's funny because when I see pictures of other men and women way more overweight than I (I need to lose about 30 pounds, or just tone up), they look fine and I can actually pick out the attractive features on their faces and bodies. But with myself I'm a much harsher critic.
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I have this problem except mine is the opposite when I look in the mirror I see this hideous creature but when I see pictures of myself I look fine some I would even consider attractive. I hate full mirrors and I use a compact mirror to put on my makeup as well.. A friend of mine did her thesis on BDD (Body dismorphic disorder) and I definately fit the bill for it
my question- does anyone see themselves one way and then when they see a picture of themselves you don't look like the same person? My face in the mirror looks different than the face in the pictures. I don't mean literally- but what it means to me is that I see myself one way (a little bit smaller) and when i see a photo of myself i am much bigger... any thoughts or advice?
I like to think of it as another of my "man traits" which PCOS has been so generous with =D
You know how (well used to be anyway, I think times are a-changing) men generally tend to have a higher physical self-confidence level (just look at Peter Stringfellow =D ) and look in the mirror and must see someone sexy and fantastic, well anyway not that I have that extreme amount of denial lol but I look in the mirror and think "hey I'm not that big, I look ok!".
Then I see a picture of myself
Despite that though, I personally (ie for my sanity) think it's more helpful if I think I look better than I actually do. =) But yeah, where does confidence end and denial start lol...
Of course, some people really don't photograph well. Like me, for instance! =D People who do photograph well are often people with more 3-dimensional faces, and I have a flatter face (in pictures, I like to call this "my moon pie face").
Look at the pictures of movie stars, they have adopted this weird cross-legged standing stance, that is all to throw greater angles on their body and not to appear as flat (therefore bigger). It's all about the illusion of three dimension...
We can definitely be conscious of posture though when we're having our photos taken. I definitely have to practice that, I have terrible posture! =)
Particularly for a special occasion, perhaps a visit to a stylist if it's affordable would help, to make sure you are making the most of yourself. They can be more helpful than well meaning and loving friends and family who you might worry want to spare your feelings. If they know anything about deportment they might be able to help with the poses?...
For example, I have decided to invest in some make up lessons: to update my look but mostly to make sure I'm applying my make up in the most flattering way - I taught myself when I was 17 or so, and now that my skin has aged a bit I haven't really changed my method much and I probably need to!!
I've spent a lot of time analysing what I should wear through trial and error and by reading books like those by Trinny & Susannah (What Not To Wear series) and Gok Wan (How To Look Good Naked). (Both are UK shows, I can't link sorry as I have not posted enough times.)
Gok in particular is fantastic, a real "love what you have" message. I think us ladies can always be over critical of ourselves about being "too fat" - which even thin women worry about too apparently. So perhaps a thinking shift to "am I making the most of myself, regardless of my dress size?" would just be a generally healthier attitude.
And both shows above recommend liberal use of supportive underwear! =D
Anyway then rather than concentrating on seeing yourself as fat in the pictures, you can see how well presented you are and how well you've chosen what looks right for you.
Best wishes,
Caroline
__________________ Me 34 OH 34 My son 15 (conceived naturally)
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The killer thing is when I feel really confident. Like for my friend's wedding. I wore an outfit that I thought really flattered me. I thought I looked good.
Then I saw the pictures and the video. I actually asked "Is that how I really look?" It was devastating. I was huge and my face especially looked so fat, yet I don't see that when I look in the mirror.
I think we do sort of trick ourselves when we look in the mirror.
I feel the same way.. I feel really confident and think i look great until i see te pictures, then i cry and delete all of them. I have never thought that highly of myself but then again i HATE the way i look.. Idk if that makes any sense...
I have the same issue. Ill look at myself in the mirror and I look great. When I see myself in a picture my boobs are huge liek they have a mind of their own and my face and it looks like I have an extra chin. It makes me so sad and depressed cause I see how other girls have these nice pictures of themselves and I end up deleting them.
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I don't look into the mirror because I say I look like a man with the hair and all and I hate to shave everymorning but what I look like after wards is pretty good
Of course for those of us who shave every day there's all the difference in the world between the face that looks at us in the mirror when we get out of bed and the face that looks at us in the mirror when we're ready to go out. Just looking at the beard growth will turn our minds to the male-type features, while on the other hand looking at ourselves ready to go out and with all the appearance of a normal woman will make us feel that much more attractive in a distinctly feminine way.
What you see in the mirror is the reverse of reality. We see a reverse image of ourselves and what's in the photo is what everyone else sees. Take a photo of yourself and hold it in front of you in a mirror and you will see that the photo all of a sudden looks like you again! (what you see in the everyday in the mirror.)
Secondly, photos are one dimensional(flat) so our size gets flattened and widened out visually. That's why we think we look huge in pictures. To understand this, think of a flat map of the world tacked to a wall next to a photo of the earth from outer space. Which one looks bigger? The map because it's all flattened and widened and the globe looks smaller because we see it in 2 dimensions not just one. When people see us in reality(3D) we look smaller than the flat 1D of a photo... so don't beat yourself up.
It really is all about our vision, literally. Try to see with your mind and not just your eyes, it helps.
Depends on the day, but I can be that way too. I take glamor shots with my own camera. Do my hair and makeup, wear something I love... get the lighting right. out of maybe 50, I keep 7 that I like. Every now and again I take 'em out just to remind myself I don't look as bad as I think.
Like Deb34 said... photos have a tendency to flatten and enlarge. When I went to art school they strongly discouraged working from photos because of this and the fact that they distort space, color, and shapes.
yup, i know exactly what you are talking about... both ways. a few years ago, i lost a lot of weight. of course, i thought i still looked fat. then i got married and when i saw my wedding photos, i was like "omg, i look anorexic. no wonder people keep telling me i should eat more."
now, almost 50 pounds heavier... i know i'm a lot bigger. i know it. but i don't see it as much in the mirror. then a few weeks ago we went on a trip. we had somebody take our picture and when i looked at it a few days later, i cried. i looked so huge in the picture, i just can't believe it. and now when i look in the mirror i have lose a lot of confidence. it's like "no, you don't really look as good as you think you do." it sucks.
Not really a "problem" but hard to handle 
