Not sure what's up? I guess I just need some support (sorry long post)

Mikster · 08-14-2008, 12:57 PM

Hi everyone,

I'm sorry that my first post is one of those "I have to tell someone" posts.. but I know some of you will understand. Please excuse how long this post is. I feel I should give some background for the issue.

My name is Mickey, I'm a 46 year old married woman. I was first diagnosed with PCOS in 1987 or 1986, when I was trying to have a baby. I have been lucky in having children with my PCOS, though it has been difficult, emotionally terrible, and very expensive at times.

I was married (2x) in 1997 and my new husband who had no children and wanted a baby ASAP, as he was 38 and I was 35. So, after a relatively short round of treatments, our daughter was born in Dec 1999. After that, my husband pushed for another child, which was ok with me. But after several years and 3 very early miscarriages (6 weeks) we couldn't emotionally or monetarily take it any more and gave up. But during this time I developed diabetes. I am allergic to Metformin, and the doctors put me on Advanda (and later Actos) and even on a strict diet, I gain over 100 lbs!!!! Anyway, that made the pcos really bad, and no future baby came, not to mention, my ob stopped fertility treatments because of my diabetes and weight.

In the past 8 years I have stopped the actos switching to a different type of Diabetes meds (byetta), and right away lost 40 lbs without trying. I have lost a total of 94 lbs.

Anyway, a few months ago, finally starting to feel better about myself, I decided it was time to stop shaving 2 times a day and asked my doctor for something to stop the hair from growing on my chin. She told me she couldn't give me the medication that does that because it is a class A danger if you are pregnant. I argued with her because I do not ovulate and if it were not for meds I take 4 times a year, I would never have a period! But she stood firm and would not give it to me.

So, I came to the boards and read some threads about hair problems (yes, I'm a lurker)... And decided to try the Indole-3-Carbonol that some women on this board have had luck with. I saw that there were 2 kinds, the cheaper kind was made from flax seed... the more expensive was made from broccoli sprouts. I tried the cheaper one first, but nothing seemed to happen. But when I tried the one made from broccoli, in 2 weeks the hair on my chin started to thin, and not grow as quickly. And some of my skin tags fell off! YEAH....

And, oddly enough, for the first time in more than 8 years, before I finished the 30 day bottle of I.3.C, I started my period. I had a normal period, without medication.... just like normal.

I called my doctor and told her, but she said it was probably a fluke, but took a blood test, and it came back normal first time since I was 21~

Everything sounds wonderful... but here is the problem. It has been 34 days since that period, and I have not had another one. My breast are very sore, and I'm feeling run down. I took 2 home pregnancy test, (walmart brand) one at 30 days, and one this afternoon. Both came out totally negative. Not even a hint of anything.

I called my doctor about blood test, but only a nurse was there she said I would have to make an appointment and come in but my doctor is out on 2 week vacation and I don't like her partner. I won't see him.. When I said I just wanted the blood test, not a visit at this time, the nurse told me to wait a week and take another HT and hope it is neg. Because she just went on about the DANGERS of my being pregnant at my age (46) and with PCOS, diabetes, and overweight (still about 60 lbs overweight). She didn't come out and say the "A" word, but her discussion seemed to be about the need to do that if the test were positive... she said "make arrangements to take care of it before it goes to far". Which I will not do.

Truthfully, I don't even know if I'm pregnant. My breast have been sore since last Friday, and have been getting worse. But I'm not having any nausea, and the test were both negative. But I feel like I am.. But she got me thinking of all the dangers, I called my sister the RN.

She told me I should INSIST that despite the negative test, the doctor give me the morning after pill right now, because she told me at my age the odds of having a special needs baby is near 100%... and I will probably have serious health issues if pregnant... if not die. She went on about me having to give my my business and my dreams to take care of a down syndrom child, and being 80 years old still changing diapers on a DS adult.. it was horrible...(yes, she's a little over the top, but she is a RN)

I don't even know for sure if I am pregnant, but I have to say, after talking to them, I'm afraid.

I don't know if I could have a normal baby at my age, and after accepting the fact that we were not going to have any more children, my husband and I molded our lives to that idea. I have my own business, and I'm registered to college this fall for continuing education for my business (all signed and paid for). I would be hard to start again at 46 (would be 47 when baby came) with a normal baby,... But what if the child is special needs?

For that matter, what if I'm not pregnant? What could be making my body react so much like I'm pregnant. Even when I take the medication I usually have to take to have a period (adgestin Sp?), I have had sore boobs before my period before, but they don't get worse every day, and they don't last more than a day or two before the period starts. I can barely put my arms down!!!! the shower water hurt my nipples!

I tried to talk to my Husband about this, he just scoffs it off.. reminding me of all the times in the past when I was SURE I was pregnant and I wasn't or I had a miscarriage... like that doesn't count. He even said, so what, if you are pregnant, it probably won't "take" anyway, so what get excited about it.

My best friend said basically, the test are negative, so don't worry, you're boobs can't hurt forever. Just forget about it.

But as some of you can imagine, when your boobs hurt, it's all you can think about and wonder.

In the meantime, I only have 2 negative test that are totally opposite from what I feel.... I have read on these boards that they often give false negs if used too soon, but I don't know if it is too soon,... don't know how far my periods would be apart if I had more than 1 normal one.. and didn't bother to watch for signs of ovulation as it never occured to me. I had not implantation bleeding, but Friday morning, I had about 5 minutes of intense cramping and was sure my period was going to start. It didn't, and by that night my boobs were sore... and I wonder if it is connected... or am I over thinking??? anyway... maybe I am just making a mountain out of a mole hill... but I can't seem to help but worry.

I hope no one minds about my venting my worry and emotions here. I guess there is nothing I can do except wait another few days and try again with the HT .

I have to admit something else to you ladies, who I know most of you will understand... I'm also afraid that I am making myself believe I'm pregnant because deep in my heart, I really want to be, and it will be hard to find out it is not so.... and if that is the case, am I just fooling myself, like my husband says. AUGH... I'm in an emotional mess.

Anyway,,, if you read this far, you are a SUPER person! Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.

Blessings to all of you,
Mickey

P.S. If anything good came from this, it could be that if any of you ladies are trying to get rid of the hair, skin tags, or maybe even get pregnant, might want to check into this Indole-3-carbonol (the broccoli kind, not the flax kind)

Bugsey3478 · 08-14-2008, 01:09 PM

I haven't had these experiences so I don't have anything to add to help you except to send you good wishes and I hope this turns out well for you either way. Please post here again to update.

Manda_Mia_ · 08-14-2008, 06:58 PM

I will have to try this to get rid of my facial hair, that is really my only problem with PCOS as far as missed periods......I was pregnant once with no meds at all and then lost it at 8 weeks.......Since then children not longer goes thru my mind anymore I am only 22 I have the rest of my life to think about things like this. I wish you all the best......I hope you are pregnant it seems that is what you really want.

Kalyn · 08-15-2008, 01:13 AM

There is a lady I know from work....I remember her having similar symptoms, she swore up and down she was pregnant (she was in her late 30s and did NOT want another child) but anyways, she took home pregnancy tests and they were neg. She ended up going to her doc and come to find out she was in early stages of menopause. Not saying this is the case, just making a note of what she went through.

Yes, the risks are increased of having a special needs child the older you get, but it is not a for sure thing. If you are pregnant, you need to do what you feel is right and what your heart wants. Good luck!!!!

Judybaby · 08-15-2008, 01:05 PM

The sore breasts could just be a sign of ur impending period, since u dont have normal cycles ur cycle can be crazy out of wack and ur hormones could be surging, especially since u started using this anti hair product, you body is just reacting, yes there is a possibility that u could be pregnant and if u are there isnt a 100% chance ur child will have special needs, many people have had perfectly normal babies at older ages. '

I know what u mean about convincing urself that you are pregnant i see to do that every time my period is even a lil late, it has been somewhat regular lately. but i wish you all the best and hope things work out, also at age 46 menopause is not a far off idea, you could be in the early stages, my former mother in law thought she was pregnant at 42 and it was just the beginnings of menopause. im sorry if im not helping, i have had a real hard time lately putting my thought s to words. good luck.

Anonykat · 08-15-2008, 01:32 PM

Honestly, my guess would be the beginnings of perimenopause, and the swirl of hormones that go with it.

If you were to be pregnant, however, your age is not necessarily doom for your child. I can think of 4 people I know who were born to older mothers, and no genetic defects - one's mom was 45, two (siblings), the mom was 43 and then 45, and in one for the record books, a lady at my old church who had thought she was in menopause unexpectedly gave birth to a healthy boy at 51! (BTW, that "baby" is older than I am, about 36 or 37, so it was truly an oops - IVF/egg donors and whatnot obviously did not exist back then). I find it outrageous that abortion would be the first thing your doctor would go to.

Let us know what happens.

Deb34 · 08-15-2008, 04:53 PM

don't forget the I3C is an estrogen hormone metabolizer. That means that until you take it regularly for 3-6 months, your hormones are swinging all over the place. They are trying to rebalance to normal with the help of the supplement and that means you will be getting weird symptoms similar to PMS symptoms until they are as balanced as the supplement can make them. This will take time, so give it time and don't panic OK?

If you're worried about pregnancy, keep testing at home but at the same time protect against the possibility by come birth control method.

Don't forget that for years and years you have not suffered the same PMS symptoms (since you don't ovulate etc) so this may be just your body doing the hormone balance dance. The fact you are experiencing something like this indicates the supplement is working so be happy about that and again, give it time to do its job.

Take care,

CincyPCOS · 09-21-2008, 12:49 PM

So...what happened??? What did the doctor say? Yes, we all understand the frustration and lack of control from this illness...here is the place to vent...