scottishsweetie

I have been saying it for years that I want to end my life and there has been no change to make me feel otherwise. I have gone to therapy, a psychiatrist, etc. I am just not happy. I want to die. I need to end it. There is just no point to my life and hasn't been for years. Nothing has changed.
It's over.

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SCOTTISHSWEETIE

Me- 32
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2 fur babies- kitties (Sophie and Abby)
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My special Kitty, Sidney, went to Heaven Christmas day, 2007. I will miss him forever
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Meds- too many meds to mention here
Diagnosed with PCOS- 1998


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MissChrystal

I'm very sorry you're feeling this way, I've certainly been there before.

I hope you reconsider, I know we are just names on a board...but we're also real people and I'm certain you have more real people who care for you.

I can't even begin to suggest anything, but I'm sure you've tried medication....maybe you could look into alternative medications or treatments?

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Chrystal (28) ~ DF (33)

* 4/30/08 - P4 Results, CD21 (0.6) = No O
* 5/16/08 - Round 1 Clomid (50mg), CD 3-7
* 6/05/08 - P4 Results, CD23 (5.9) = O, BFN
* 6/18/08 - Round 2 Clomid (50mg), CD 5-9
* 7/23/08 - No P4 this month, CD20 = O, Soy

scottishsweetie

I have tried every med known. It is just time for me to go.

Thank you hun.

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SCOTTISHSWEETIE

Me- 32
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2 fur babies- kitties (Sophie and Abby)
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My special Kitty, Sidney, went to Heaven Christmas day, 2007. I will miss him forever
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Meds- too many meds to mention here
Diagnosed with PCOS- 1998


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MissChrystal

I really don't believe that its time! At 32...you have a LOT more time for this world. I'm 28, please don't tell me that in 4 short years I will have lived all of my life left to live.

If you want to chat, send me a pm or we can post here....I'm a good listener

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Chrystal (28) ~ DF (33)

* 4/30/08 - P4 Results, CD21 (0.6) = No O
* 5/16/08 - Round 1 Clomid (50mg), CD 3-7
* 6/05/08 - P4 Results, CD23 (5.9) = O, BFN
* 6/18/08 - Round 2 Clomid (50mg), CD 5-9
* 7/23/08 - No P4 this month, CD20 = O, Soy

MissChrystal

So now I'm stalking you, see what ya did girl

I read your post in the I'll admit group, so then I decided I'll look at your photo...you're BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!! What the...hell!

I'd die for your hair, don't listen to anyone else...seriously, us fat chicks (me!) know pretty

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Chrystal (28) ~ DF (33)

* 4/30/08 - P4 Results, CD21 (0.6) = No O
* 5/16/08 - Round 1 Clomid (50mg), CD 3-7
* 6/05/08 - P4 Results, CD23 (5.9) = O, BFN
* 6/18/08 - Round 2 Clomid (50mg), CD 5-9
* 7/23/08 - No P4 this month, CD20 = O, Soy

bells4her

scot, i've been there, i really have. i know that nothing i say will really help you, but i can say, from experience, that it CAN get better. i know it seems impossible right now, but it truly can. i can't be the only person in the world who can overcome depression... i'm not extraordinary in any way, i promise! i'm here for ya if you want...

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Dx: 10/07
Met: 2000mg

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RNtobe

scot, I hope you are able to find the sunshine on the other side of the clouds.

I am only 19, but trust me I have been where you are. There are days when I really wonder what's the point. I question everyone and everything. But the truth is, we are young. We have an entire life before us and can't quit now.

I know you are reading this and thinking, yeah sure that's what everyone says. and I know that you have heard every cliche in the book, but sometimes cliches exist to remind us that things really happen. life really can change.

You have two cats, who I can only imagine are gorgeous. I have two kitties, but one of them is my little lovebug. Any time I leave the house and come back, even if its just to run to the grocery store, he is all over me like I have been gone for days. It's amazing how much these cats can love us. To them, we are their everything. They sense when we are feeling down and when we are just not right. Give them a big hug. I know that helps me.

And cause cliches exist for a reason, may you find the silver lining on this cloud.

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Medications:
-Metformin (1000mg a day)
-Metoprolol
-Spironolactone/HCTZ
-Lexapro
-Potassium
-Protonix
-Acidophilus
-Fiber supplements
-Multi-vitamen
-Vagifem

Currently undergoing Mayo Clinic "diagnostic evaluation." Oh what fun!

Weight loss on hold...Thai vacation is screwing my plans!

ellie_anna

Mandi,

I really hope you reconsider how you feel about this. I feel like I have really gotten to know you on the I'll admit threads. You have so much to contribute to so many people. Please reach out to one of us. I am here for you as well as most if not all the gals on the I'll admit thread!

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Ellie
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Me (28) DH (27)
Married 8/04

TTC since 5/05
Dx 9/05

January 08 - Clomid 50mg= BFN
Feb 08 - Clomid 100mg = BFN
March 08 -Clomid 150mg =BFN


August 08 - Clomid 150mg =BFN
Sept 08- Clomid 150mg?



There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of our will.
Epictetus


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.

anichols

Mandi~
What happened? Was there a straw that broke the camel's back so to speak? Please respond if you are there. You have so many concerned for you......

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SlaveToTheCorps

Mandi
Gorgeous lady, what are you thinking of stuff like this for? OMG...Mandi you are gorgeous...you are opionated & you are original...people would die to make you happy, but you just haven't found them yet! You've had a run in with a few royal jag-off's but that's not the whole world! You have friends that would give their lives for you! Yuo have cysters on this site, who will stand by your side & support you no matter what!!! You have so much to live fo & you are still so young! If you need to talk, email me vdorband87@yahoo.com

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want2beAmum

ive never talked to you before , but please know i was in the same position just 3 weeks ago.....i understand some of what you are going through, ive suffered with depression all my life, and had a big bad PPD after my DD was born...........

if you wanna talk PM me!!

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ITS A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Amber was born May 3 2008 at 6:42 pm!!!!
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MissChrystal

I hope you made it through the rough times and are better today!

I couldn't sleep last night wishing I'd been able to help more, I'll be looking for a post by you

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Chrystal (28) ~ DF (33)

* 4/30/08 - P4 Results, CD21 (0.6) = No O
* 5/16/08 - Round 1 Clomid (50mg), CD 3-7
* 6/05/08 - P4 Results, CD23 (5.9) = O, BFN
* 6/18/08 - Round 2 Clomid (50mg), CD 5-9
* 7/23/08 - No P4 this month, CD20 = O, Soy

scottishsweetie

I snapped last night with another kick. I don't want to have to explain myself to people like 'Mims' who have absolutely no idea what it is like to live like this- I have nobody in my life, no support system (except my online girls!) and nowhere to turn. Sometimes typing it out helps.
Anyway- I am checking into a facility. It's either that or I die. One thing I do know- I absolutely can NOT live like this. I won't. I am sad/crying ALL THE TIME. Put yourself in my shoes Mims, then you can judge me. My family is part OF the problem. My friends (I have 3) are busy with their families and kids. My cats will go to my sister. You don't think I have thought this out? I think about it all the time. Day in, day out. I think about every outcome and every reprocussion, so don't you DARE think you think I am just looking for someone to feel sorry for me. I am WAY past that. I don't need your input on something you know nothing about. I have been abused my WHOLE LIFE- since I was 4 years old- from my family, boyfriends, teachers, co-workers, and 'friends' stabbing me in the back. Sexually abused from when I was 4, emotionally, physically, mentally all my life. I have been beat up by people I thought loved me and landed in the hospital; friends sleep with my boyfriends, told I was ugly constantly, and always dumped; by EVERYONE- family, friends, and men. The only thing that gives me comfort is knowing that someday I will die. This isn't 'oh I had a fight with someone and I am about to take pills' message. This is an I MEAN IT message. That is what this thread is for.
I don't know when I will be out/back ladies. I just wanted to respond- let you know what I was doing.
Mandi

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SCOTTISHSWEETIE

Me- 32
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2 fur babies- kitties (Sophie and Abby)
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

My special Kitty, Sidney, went to Heaven Christmas day, 2007. I will miss him forever
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Meds- too many meds to mention here
Diagnosed with PCOS- 1998


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MissChrystal

I wish you the best of luck...come back and tell us how things are going!

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Chrystal (28) ~ DF (33)

* 4/30/08 - P4 Results, CD21 (0.6) = No O
* 5/16/08 - Round 1 Clomid (50mg), CD 3-7
* 6/05/08 - P4 Results, CD23 (5.9) = O, BFN
* 6/18/08 - Round 2 Clomid (50mg), CD 5-9
* 7/23/08 - No P4 this month, CD20 = O, Soy

want2beAmum

very good decision! i was admitted also for help just 2 weeks or so ago!
it was a great decision on my part as well......

hope it all works out for you, please check in when you can!!

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ITS A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Amber was born May 3 2008 at 6:42 pm!!!!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


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