Odoption...how to chose

CathyWood · 06-28-2003, 09:17 PM

Ok Dh brought the subject up again and he said Well, i think this could be the only option. So what should we do..a boy or girl. UMMM...i don't know.. i keep thinking BOY..cause hey you don't ever have to pay for a wedding and they pass (hopefully) on the last name. BUT girl...hope that she is healthy and won't ever have to go through any PCOS stuff.

So how are you (who are adopting) deciding or ever get to that point on what sex to get.

I guess I have to have a open mind to this subject...

HELP!!!!

Bertiebugg · 06-29-2003, 01:46 AM

Well.. you could always put down that it doesnt matter! Then you can be surprised!

Sari · 06-29-2003, 12:55 PM

If you do foreign adoption some countries will not allow you to choose.

CathyWood · 06-29-2003, 08:59 PM

I think we want to stick with state adoption...found a website..need to give dh some time to browse it.

CajunFrancks · 06-29-2003, 10:19 PM

I think adoption is a wonderful thing.

Most places I've checked into won't let you pick the sex? Maybe I'm wrong.

Good luck in what you decide!

cbeldner · 06-30-2003, 02:38 PM

We said it did not matter but we both had in our hearts that we wanted a son first. Not sure why but we just both had a feeling that we would have a boy first. Sure enough we were blessed with a boy. Now I'm pregnant and we do not know the sex yet but my husband is hoping for another boy and if that's what we have then we will adopt a girl in a few years. Our agency recommended to be open as possible but in the end they let you decide and its not uncommon for families with 3 boys to adopt a girl and vice versa.

Lisa75 · 06-30-2003, 04:44 PM

Well of coarse the BM contacted us here in the states about her being pregnant and it didn't even cross my mind about the sex. I was just tickled I was on the phone talking to her, but she did tell me it was suppose to be a girl and I was so tickled because I always wanted a little girl first, but if she had said boy I would of been just as happy. I don't think I ever looked at it as having to choose.

Good luck to you with your decision.

Lisa75

Calantha · 06-30-2003, 08:29 PM

We chose to adopt a boy for a couple of reasons. The first being that as a little girl, I always wished for a big brother. It took me a long time to understand what my parents meant when they told me they couldn't give me one! So we decided to have a boy first, so our little girls (we want two) will have a big brother

Secondly, we were told that little boys are often harder to find families for than little girls are. It seems that for whatever reason, most adoptive families prefer to adopt a girl. Waiting lists are often very long for little girls, while perfectly healthy and happy little boys go without a family.

There's nothing that says you must choose though. Many places won't allow you to choose, and I don't think there are any that insist upon it. So you can always just remain open to either and be pleasantly surprised!

-Brandy

CathyWood · 06-30-2003, 11:00 PM

So far noone has told me where to look, how much it costs. THis is a huge thing to start checking out.

Calantha · 06-30-2003, 11:26 PM

I was under the impression from your early post that you already had some idea where to look. If you want to adopt a waiting child, the adoptuskids.org website might be helpful. If you want to look into foster to adopt you should check with your state department of children's services or whatever yours state calls it. Adoption.org and adoption.com are full of different kinds of information. If you're considerring international adoption as a possibility you might want to try rainbowkids.com which is a photolisting of waiting children from different areas of the world and contact information for the agencies they are available through. If you have a specific country you want to know more about or think you might be interested in, a simple google search usually turns up several agencies with programs in the country. Costs vary depending on where you adopt from, even domestically.