Ok, I am going to therapy... what to expect ?

Monita · 02-11-2008, 05:34 PM

Hello ladies

In a way, I am sad but also happy to make this announcement : I finally took one step forward in terms of my anxiety problem, and I have booked an appointment with a psico-therapist this Thursday.

I am sad because I was kinda hoping I could solve this by myself, without the need of doctors. I tried many alternative solutions such as bach flowers, yoga, relaxation techniques, and even if they have relieved some aspects, I still cannot bring myself to eliminate the panic attacks and the anxiety which has became slowly like a chronic issue. I used to have them 1 per month or so, now it is almost 1 or 2 per day... I cannot live like that !!

I am anti-drugs after having tried Zoloft, felt terrible and read so many stories about withdrawal that made me panic even more. I am TTCing so I know I need to be relaxed if I want a BFP, but I do not want to risk and use drugs during TTC and pregnancy. That practically left me solely with natural solutions like relaxing herbs and teas...

But last night, again it was this sensation like I am choking, this cold sweating, this hearth rushing, this terror I am going to die, and even some issues I used to watch on TV without fear ( like frightening movies, murder shows like CSI ) caused me to change channels since I would stress even more.

I was thinking : if I am going to be that way in the future, how can I offer to my kids a good, quality time ? I need to be at my best for them !!

Today I had a terrible fight with DH for silly stuff and I kinda lost it. I was crying so hard DH was worried. When things got calmed again, I begged him to help me find a good psico-therapist because I could not continue feeling this way and pretending I am OK. Anxiety is such a lonely condition, you feel so isolated and you have to deal with it alone.... always pretending you are OK.

What can I expect from a therapy that does not involve drugs ? do you think it may work on its own ? I am scared the problem is based in the neurotransmitters basically and that simple therapy will not do the job.

I am a happy person. I do not feel depressed and I have plenty of reasons to live and be happy for. It is just that damn anxiety that will not let me be...

Any advice will be very useful now....I am so sad.... but a little happy I finally am reaching out for help.

PBLayzod · 02-11-2008, 05:46 PM

Therapy doesn't necessarily involved drugs. You will do a lot of talking and my have "homework". Keep going. It doesn't work overnight.

Just wanted to mention that I hated Zoloft (it made me more anxious) but have been able to take Lexapro and Paxil with very few problems (fatigue). Most are at least safe to take while ttc. Quite a few are alos okay during pregnancy.

RoaryKennedy · 02-12-2008, 01:49 PM

I also tried therapy a few years ago, when I was really struggling with my relationship with my dh (I still am struggling, but that's a whole different story). I entered therapy with the hope of either being able to change some of my behaviors to make my marriage more successful, or to gain the support and confidence I needed to leave my marriage, if need be. Dh refused to attend with me.

I didn't "hit it off" with my therapist. I guess it was just her way, but before she'd even begin a session or even ask me how I was doing, I had to write out the check for my co-pay and hand it to her. I went to probably 6 sessions--one a week--but I just wasn't clicking with her. She almost made me feel worse in some ways. She told me that she thought I had some OCD tendancies--at least the obsessive parts of it--and recommended that I get more meds. I did see my family practice doctor after that, and she increased my Zoloft and I was grateful for that because it did make a difference at the time.

She gave a lot of "homework", too. But I don't think she was ever really tailoring my homework to my issues--it seemed like she was quick to assign me some issues that she determined, as opposed to ones that I determined and wanted to work on. She spend the majority of the time lecturing me instead of working with me and talking to me about my issues, and that made me feel even worse.

I ended up cancelling an appointment and never rescheduling. It's always been one of my plans to find a new, more compatible therapist, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet! I do see a psychiatrist next week, but that is for the purpose of fine-tuning my meds because Zoloft was not taking care of my depression and anxiety issues anymore.

Good luck! I hope you find someone you mesh with!

stellarnix · 02-12-2008, 02:14 PM

Sometimes the first therapist isn't the one, so don't get discouraged too soon. After 2-3 sessions you should know if they are going to be able to help you. And you might want to revisit the idea of meds. Zoloft wasn't right for me either, but Cymbalta was amazing! I didn't find it until I had tried 4 other meds first. And if you follow a good step down program, the withdrawal is tolerable. Good luck, hope you find what works for you.

Monita · 02-12-2008, 07:35 PM

Thanks ladies for your comments. I am still unsure how therapy is going to work, however I am willing to give it a chance. This doctor is a psycho-Therapist but I am unaware if she recommends meds too. I was explained that a psychiatrist is the one that gives meds and a regular psycho-therapist works more without them.

But I guess this doctor should also know about drugs. I am just scared to get on drugs because of the possible pregnancy and also because of the terror stories related to withdrawal.

Do you really think anxiety is a lack of serotonin in the brain... or can it be just patterns the mind is repeating which are harmful ? I guess a combination of therapy and drugs can be a winning combo, but I am afraid to start trying meds right for my embryo transfer... anyhow, I will keep you posted on the outcome...

Thanks again !!

RoaryKennedy · 02-12-2008, 07:44 PM

Monita, I honestly don't think I could fix my anxiety issues without med, so yes, I think a lot of it is seratonin, so my drugs help fix that. I was so anxiety and so stressed before I took meds, and the meds helped with that. I was still able to have anxious thoughts, but I couldn't obsess or focus on them the way I was without meds.

And yes, a psychotherapist will work with you through talk therapy and homework. My psychotherapist recommended that I see a psychiatrist or a family practice doctor to increase my meds, but she had no prescribing privileges and could only make recommendations based on her limited knowledge of psych drugs.

Have you thought of any drugs that you could take during pregnancy, if necessary? I took Zoloft during the TTC process and all through pregnancy. My family practice doctor and my OBGYN both approved it. I am now on Effexor, and I see that the literature says not to take during the last three months of pregnancy, but I just visited with a friend who said that she did take it the whole time she was pg. You just have to weigh the costs and benefits, I guess...if I hadn't been on Zoloft to control my anxiety while pregnant, I would've been a miserable basketcase.

When I just transitioned off Zoloft about a month ago, the withdrawal process was not at all terrible, either.

I hope you are able to feel better soon!

R0xyg4l · 02-14-2008, 08:53 PM

I go to a therapist and use medications to help with my anxiety and depression issues. I was really hesitant to go to a therapist but I found one that is PERFECT for me. I call her my Dalai Lama. She sorta shows me the path to things. Just be prepared to open up and talk about anything that comes to mind. I love having an unbias source that gives me input from different perspectives. When I need advice she's there for me as well. I think if you've found the right therapist and you're openminded you will definetly feel a benefit from therapy. Good luck!

Monita · 02-15-2008, 03:47 PM

Hi ladies, thanks for all your insights, they are very valuable for me...

Well yesterday I went to the therapist, and at first it was hard to speak about my anxiety problem, I was feeling anxious just to talk about me being anxious, for crying out loud !! ( LOL )

It went well, however the therapist told us that my particular case is not in her expertise field, that she works more with family therapy and is not that experienced in panic attacks. She refered me to a colleague she told us is one of the best in town for that particular matter. I am having an appoitment with him next week.

I appreciate her to be honest ( that she could not help but he can ) and she also told me she really do not like to get people started on drugs, unless really, really there is no other choice. She told me her colleague also only prescribes them if there is no other viable way to go.

So.... I guess I will start over next week with this new therapist and see what comes from there. At least... I am doing something and I feel my anxiety ( now I tend to refer to her as a third person ) knows I an trying to kick her butt out of my life and is fighting back. She won´t win anyhow... I am too busy to let her ruin my life !! LOL

I will kep you posted... thanks to all of you, wonderful ladies, for your advice.

ads2e · 02-20-2008, 01:07 AM

Good luck with your therapy!! I think my main suggestion is to be open to considering things that you hadn't considered. For example, while you have recognized that you are experiencing anxiety, you may not have realized that you are also experiencing some depression, so it's really important to tell your doctor about everything, even about things you think may not be relevant to your condition.

Also, make sure your comfortable with your therapist. Years ago I had a therapist that I did not like, and so I stopped going. I LOVE the doctor I have now, it's like talking to an objective friend. (If you find you don't like the person your doc recommended you to, let me know and I'll tell you a little about how I found my person - it took a lot of internet searching, making calls, etc.) One thing I like about my doc is she never asks me "how do you feel" or "tell me about your feelings." I hate those statements, because they are very TV-therapist questions and kind of annoying. I think she knows I hate those questions so she approaches it in different ways.

I think one of the most important things to look for is someone who will call you out on your distorted thoughts/reactions. What I really like about my doc is she calls me on my bs...if I have a distorted perception, she challenges me and she forces me to explain why I think my perception of the situation is right. (I'm a lawyer, so this is a really useful exercise for me.) Also, realize that in the first 2-3 sessions, the doc is just getting to know you, so it may be a little awkward talking to him...awkward, not uncomfortable.

Also, one thing *not* to expect to get an immediate recovery as soon as you realize what causes your anxiety or other moods. For example, I had this hope that I would go to therapy, find the reason I was depressed, and the hardest part would be identifying why i was feeling the way I was (because knowing is 1/2 the battle), and then I would stop feeling bad and stop emotional eating, lose weight, and be happier. As it turns out, it doesn't work that way. In therapy I realized that even though I could pinpoint most of the things that were bothering me, it wasn't going to change my thoughts/moods/reactions overnight. So, the moral is, you should be patient. In the end, you'll be happy you went through it.

Also, regarding medication, psychotherapists cannot prescribe medications whereas psychiatrists can. My psychotherapist and I talked about medication a couple of months into my treatment but she approached it in a way that we could have an open discussion about why I did not want to take it (i.e. she did not try to force me to take it). It was not until a year later when I had really gotten to the point where I couldn't function that she really pushed me to take medication, and she was very patient in explaining to me exactly how the medication would work and why it was necessary for me to take it in order for the psychotherapy to do its job. Anyway, since they can't prescribe, normally what a psychotherapist will do is talk to you about the medications, make some recommendations, and have you call your primary care doctor to get a prescription. If you decide to go on medication, remind your prescriber of what you want to avoid - I was adamant that I would only go on an antidepressant that did not make me gain weight b/c I knew that would add to my depression.

Also, one thing my doctor recommended to me is a workbook called "Mind Over Mood." It's for anxiety and depression, and I have found it helpful in breaking down my thoughts and why I start feeling the way that I do. After a few sessions with your doctor, you might want to ask him about that book or something similar so you can get some "out of office" time to work on your moods/anxiety.

Okay, I think I'll stop rambling now....

TickledPink · 02-20-2008, 02:55 AM

just keep in mind that if for some reason you are not comfortable with the person to go to someone else. it has happened 2 me and its hard enough talking never mind talking to someone your not comfortable with!

GL!

Monita · 02-20-2008, 08:40 PM

Thank you ALL ladies for sharing your experiences and giving advice. It really made me feel supported and that I am not alone in this. Sometimes you see everybody around you so "normal" you think you are the only one suffering with issues, then you find out we all have our issues, just different from each other.

I am having my new doctor´s appointment tomorrow. It is a good timing since I am just starting a new cycle trying to conceive with frozen embryo transfer and I know I need to be relaxed. My anxiety comes and goes but still is there. The only difference is that I am slowly learning how to control it and not let it get out of control. I mean, I really long for these days when I could fall sleep without feeling anxious, and I wish I could feel liek few years ago, but I am hopeful that therapy, self control and the support of my loved ones will work. I want to be relaxed for my transfer and I hope having started Therapy will help, even if I know it will not work immediately...

I will keep you posted... hugs to all !!

Monita · 02-24-2008, 12:06 AM

Hi Ladies

Just a quick update to say that therapy went well. I was at first a bit anxious since I was not sure if I was going to be comfortable with the doctor ( anxious me ?? you´re kidding .... LOL ) but he was very nice, he inspires me to trust him so it was all OK.

We will start next week with some cognitive therapy. I was glad to hear he is also a believer on Bach Flowers and encouraged me to carry on with them. We will not use drugs for now, as he told me he did not think I would need them and that he believes therapy and support with the bach flowers may be all I need. He told me he did not even noticed I was in need of help ( when I am comfortable and of course, not anxious, I look like a normal, even chatty, sociable person ) but he has treated a lot of anxiety problems with success.

So, it was all good. I will let you know how this will work in a couple of weeks when I have started my therapy. In a way, I feel much better for having made the decision to look for help. Anxiety stills around, some days yes, some days no, but I am starting to control her, know that this is basically in my mind, and the best way to control that is by controlling the way I think and what I think about.

Again, thanks for the help and advise.