Okay New to Adoption have lots of QUestions

KAnde · 06-24-2003, 03:59 PM

PLEASE HELP!

I was wondering what countries are easiest to adopt from with the shortest amount of time to get the youngest child possible??

Has anyone done a domestic adoption?? Do you get the children younger...I really want an Infant below 6 months is it possible??

What agencies are best or have you ladies used?

How much does it normally cost to adopt?? How do you afford adoption?

We are just trying to get as much info right now as possible!

Thanks Ladies!

lilac · 06-24-2003, 10:21 PM

hello,
DH and I adopted our daughter through a domestic adoption. We used a facilitator, The Adoption Network in Laguna Beach, CA. I would encourage you to visit their web site www.adoptionpro.com

It was important to us to adopt a newborn. Our particular situation was quite unique. From starting the adoption process to bringing home our newborn daughter from the hospital was a total of 4 short months. In between that time we were selected by 3 birthmothers but for various reasons we decided to wait. Finally, on a Saturday morning, we received a phone call that changed our lives. A newborn baby girl was born and the birthmother was giving her up for adoption. She had not started an adoption plan, although she had hid her pregnancy the entire time and had planned on giving her up for adoption. We brought our daughter home and with the loving support of the Adoption Network we waited out the 3 long month time frame given to birth mothers to "change their mind". (i believe the time frame recently changed, but am not sure.) Our daughter was born in November 2000 and in October 2001 she became legally ours. The majority of adoptions through Adoption Network are newborns and I really can't say enough about how great they are! We took out a home equity loan to cover the costs. I will admit this part of the adoption process was highly stressful. We paid 1/2 of the fee when we signed up, then the other 1/2 when we brought our baby home. We also had attorney fees, home study fees, Adoption service provider fees and extra fees when the birthmother failed to show up for two appointments. I honestly never tallied up the amounts. I never wanted to know how much it was, but I can guess that it was close to $20,000. DH and I are considering doing it all over again really soon. Our daughter is almost three now and needs a little brother or sister.

Hope this helps.
Good luck and God bless you!

websissy · 06-25-2003, 10:33 PM

We were working with Commonwealth International Adoptions - they are a non-profit organization. Check out their website for your questions -
CIA

We have put on adoption plans on hold, but went through most of the parent prep. Did our homestudy, psychological exams (required by Panama), and have been certified by the State and INS to adopt.

We have enough in savings to cover adoption costs, but there are many options - some agencies have payment plans, can get home equity loan or low cost loans. A good website for more info is Adoption.com

Best Wishes,

coop · 06-26-2003, 12:17 AM

We went throught the Department Of Human Services in Memphis TN. We adopted 6 week old twins who are now four. Our process was really fast. (we believe God worked in our situation)We took the adoption classes in January, our home study was in February, and the babies came home with us in March. They are happy, healthy, and smart. We have been truly blessed. The cost was reasonable too. It was less than 2,000. The only downside was the length of time it took for the adoption to be final. Our social worker was a little slow and it took About 14 months. Now with all the press I think they are getting better about the timelines. Good luck.

KAnde · 06-26-2003, 12:25 AM

Coop ~~How did that work with the department of Human services?? can you set it up so that you can get an infant as young as possible and what happened to the birth parents of your children. 14 months was a long time so you mean that the parents could have come back any time during that to claim the twins??

Thanks for all the info we sure could afford a couple thousand dollars but coughing up 25-30K is alot of money and then i am not sure we would be able to afford for me to stay home if we had to fork out that much money. I really appreciat the info!

Lisa75 · 06-26-2003, 02:10 AM

We didn't go thru a agency , we actually heard about the BM and she contacted us knowing that we had been TTC and wanted a baby. We flew he up here and found her a Dr., got her in, she delievered here and signed the papers and we're in the process of adopting our DD right now. WE have had her since birth and have temporary custody of her until it's final in October. We have to wait 6 months by law being a nonfamily adoptioin.

It cost us 350.00 for homestudy. Luckily found a nice woman that used to work for DCFS and she was still licensed to do it. Or else it was going to cost us 1100.00. In Ill it is post place ment homestudy. So Des was already here.

We paid 1500.00 for our lawyer and the GLC who repesented Des
And then we are paying for the Dr. bills which we paid 1600.00 up front for the delievery and then we owe the hospital about 10,000. We're just paying it as we can.

All in all our Adoption process has been over 12,000.00 but not all up front as you can see as we've paid a lot of it in payments. But we borrowed from our 401k to do what we need to do at first and then income taxes come in handy and also loans, and any other little way you can come up with the money.

I guess it all depends on what type of adoption you are going to do. I asked these questions which seemed not to long ago.

I know my lawyer has had contact with some people that wanted to give up their children for adoption.

But that's how it's went so far for us.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help to you. I did a lot of praying and I have to say that I give the Lord all credit for our little one. Because I asked him to guide me in the direction that he wanted and to help me out because I had no clue how to go about it. He did, and it's all worked out wonderfully.

Good luck with your process.

Lisa75

Calantha · 06-26-2003, 02:29 AM

I see that you live in the suburbs of Chicago.. here's the local information I can give you...

No matter what country you adopt from, even domestic, you'll need a homestudy and a state foster liscense. The liscense requires that you do some form of training. Depending on where you get your homestudy done from, you may need to take a class or just read some books for the training. International homestudies in this area run from about $1500-$2500, again depending on the agency. If you adopt through DCFS, I THINK your homestudy is free. I've also heard this is the case with Catholic Charities, however the people who told me that did their adoption 10 years ago and it may have changed by now.

Once you get your liscense, it is good for 4 years. Every 6 months the social worker will have to come back and inspect your house. Basically they just test the smoke detectors and water temperature. After 4 years you can keep it open still by doing more training. Keeping your liscense open cuts down on TONS of paperwork if you decide to adopt again.

DH and I are using Children's Hope International for our adoption agency. We're going through their Colombia program, which is actually pretty cheap as far as international goes. Our agency fees total about $4500. In country fees are another $2500 or so. Of course there's also travel expenses, I can't say for sure what those will be just yet. CHI doesn't go through private orphanges, but rather through ICBF, the Colombian government agency. That means the chances of getting a newborn or very young infant are very slim. We were told to expect, by requesting 0-18 months and "as young as possible", an average age of about 10-12 months. You travel 2-6 weeks after referral. There are agencies that go through the private orphanages where you can get babies as young as 2 months. However those cost a little more since you have to give an orphanage donation. I believe Lutheran Social Services does private orphanage adoptions in Colombia.

PM if you have any questions or just wanna talk

-Brandy

mom2allen · 06-26-2003, 05:54 AM

We adopted domestically from California using a facilitator - Babies R Blessings (www.babiesrblessings.com). I'd recommend Jan to anyone - she was great.

Our entire adoption, including pretty high birthmother expenses (she was about homeless when we met her) was about $18,000. With lower bmom expenses, it would have been about $12,000. That includes the facilitator's fee, legal fees, etc. As for how to afford it, we just did. It's amazing how creative you can get to bring your child home

Karen

coop · 06-26-2003, 09:28 AM

We called our area Department of Children's Services. From my understanding, they had several babies available from birth; I'm not sure of their nationality.

The parents were 17 year olds who could not care for the children. It was a closed adoption so we do not know the birth parents and they don't know where the babies were placed. The Mother gave up the children at birth and signed them over to the State. The father denied they were his, and didn't want to sign the paperwork. (I think he thought they were trying to trick him into child support or something). They had to go through the legal process of removing his parental rights. So it took a long time, but there wasn't much of a risk of him coming back for the children.

I had a friend who went through a private adoption agency and it took 20 months for it to be final. It might be the individual situation that determines how long it takes. Hope this helps.

lilac · 06-26-2003, 12:23 PM

to add to my post...
our domestic adoption was like this: signed up with facilitator, did not have to attend any type of classes, baby was born, brought her home, met with an Adoption Service Provider at the hospital then after discharge we went directly to her office and signed more forms. We had 2 homestudy visits with a social worker after our daughter was already home. First visit was very casual. DH and I were not questioned separately like I've heard from other people. Questions were not uncomfortable at all. Our daughter has a very sweet demeanor so she was all smiles and giggles. We did a walk through of the house but did not check anything or make any comments of things that we needed to do. We had spent a lot of time preparing for the visit and baby proofed as much as we could, however, she never commented on that. the visit lasted max 1 1/2 and she returned about 1-2 months later for a follow up visit. Again, very casual and comfortable. She actually got quite personal with us about her family history and her sister's adoption of a teenager. Other than that, we just waited to finally go to court and legalize things. I couldn't wait for the new birth certificate with our names on it!

cbeldner · 06-28-2003, 01:00 AM

We used Lifeline Adoptions in Birmingham, Alabama. www.lifelineadoption.org. The process took exactly 9 months. We started in Dec 2001. Our homestudy was complete on June 21st, 2002. We were selected by a birthmother on July 24th. Our son was born August 10th. We brought him home on August 16th. His adoption was final on November 25th.

His adoption was $12,115 to the agency and ~$1500 to the attorney.

This is a christian agency so we had to do more paperwork including a christian questionnaire. But that was no big deal. The birthmother actually chose us because of our faith which was amzaing.

In Alabama, the birthmother only has 5 days to "change her mind" from the date she signs the paper or delivers the baby (whichever happens last). Our birthmother signed the papers in the hospital. She also wanted us to pick the baby up from the hospital but the agency and the lawyer did not want us to just in case. So he was to a foster home for a few days which turned out to be a BIG blessing. We talked to the foster parents every day and they were kind enough to get him a sleep schedule

God love them!!! He was their 76th foster baby.

We liked our agency because we could choose how open or closed we were willing to be. Even though the birthmother gets to choose, there were not that many couples to pick from so that increased the quickness.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Remember to follow your heart. God will quide you.