My daughter would turn 2 on August 19th. However wshe is not here.....I started feeling this apprehension around thius time last year when she would have turned a year. I hope that you can all understand.....I am SO grateful and thankful for both of my son's. BUT, I REALLY MISS MY DAUGHTER. Last night, rather very early this morning I was a wreck. Her birhday is coming and sometimes I feel like I don't think about here often enough. Kind of like when Sherri said she wasn't gfoing to the cemetary oftem enough..((((HUGS)))) to you Sheri...because you are an awesome mom to BOTH of your babies.
i just feel like sometimes I have gone on with my life to easily....really I haven't.....i had to post here because I am sad right now and I know that you ladies know how I feel. I guess that's all for now..I just had to let that out.
Kelly
__________________ Bill To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Kelly 10/02/1993
Andrew 4/21/2000 26 weeks
Alivia 8/19/2003 22 weeks missing you baby girl
Connor 1/13/2005 31 weeks
Noah 11/05/2007 37 weeks
Joseph 3/18/2009 32 weeks
Kelly, I know that no matter how many years pass, and no matter how many living children I have, I will never forget my son. I will live the rest of my life missing him. So, I understand your sadness We mommies never forget, even if we're busy caring for other people and other things. They're always in our hearts.
Sending you bigs hugs, and hoping that you find peace in this season...
Adrianne
__________________ Adrianne 31, DH 44 - married 6/01 - 2 DSDs (13 & 15)
Gabriel born 19w5d 11/15/04 due to IC. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
((((hugs))))) Anniversaries are hard. Happy birthday sweet Alivia
Aviva
__________________ Erica -38, To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DH Sandy-38
Dx PCOS/IR since I was 18, on 2000mg metformin XR.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. and missing Isaac Doran born too soon 2/2/04,
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. and holding Japhet Asher, my Chili Pepper, born happy and healthy 1/31/05,
and two lazy To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
The anniversaries and "special days" are the hardest. I never got to see or meet my 3 angel babies, but not one hour goes by when I don't think about them...
You changed your name! Kelly, it took my thick skull a long time to figure out what the heck was up! I thought I responded here two days ago, but I had gotten a phone call right in the middle and didn't press "send" or whatever. *sigh*
Okay, I totally am with you on this whole thing. I feel like a crazy person sometimes, like I'm living in the past because I can't stop missing my little girl. I am so glad to have you all so that I feel normal and can help you all feel less alone in this. It is downright painful to be missing a child or children! I'll never forget my little #1, and I know you won't either. I just hope that as time passes it will continue to be less excruciating.
My friend's daughter's first birthday party is tomorrow, and I got her something similar to what I bought for Mary Catherine's birthday last fall. That other one got donated to a charity that provides Christmas gifts for the needy, and this one will probably be enjoyed by my friend's little girl for years, but I want to see my own little girl playing with it! I know you would love to get Alivia a birthday gift and watch her enjoy it, and there's nothing easy about that at all. Allow yourself to feel all of the feelings that come. I wish you a much easier third birthday... but I'll totally understand if it's not.
Do you feel like doing something special on the 19th? If you want to, you should. Sometimes getting some closure on the special day can really help. It certainly did for me on M.C.'s birthday, so I'm going to do that every year. Some families all go to the cemetery and say some words (some even have cake). You could take her some fresh flowers. Making a contribution to the March of Dimes and encouraging the grandparents to do the same would be nice. There are lots of ways to put that energy into something that will make you feel good instead of worse (though sometimes feeling lousy is a healthy step in the process!).
Hang in there, girlfriend!
Sheri
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Sparky, our emergent cerclage baby, born at 23w1d on 3/4/07 through his cerclage. Died from NEC on 3/12/07. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Scooter 1/28/05 16w3d, IC
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Pucky 6/11/07 blighted ovum Dx PCOS 10/2003.
TAC placed 6/28/07 at University of Chicago.
Moving on to IVF after a year of infertility and 3 Femara cycles. Lupron started on 7/27.
Okay It's that time again :( 
We mommies never forget, even if we're busy caring for other people and other things. They're always in our hearts.
