Hubby took some film footage and showed it to us... we're trying to buy a dairy and he got some shots of me in there. I was almost sick. I'm HUGE! I didn't realize I look like that. How can he bear to look at me let alone sleep with me?
I almost couldn't quit crying.
I've lost weight... I can't imagine how bad it was when I was 360 rather than 313 lbs.
The sight of food makes me nauseated and I don't want to eat. All I can see is how I looked in that footage.
anyone have any ideas on how to reconcile myself to this instead of trying to do homemade liposuction?
__________________ Janette aka SilverHawk
on 2000mg Glucophage XR
25mcg levothyroxin
Pagan Cyster
Finally Divorced!
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Last 4th of July my hubby and I went to CA to meet some of his family I had not met before. When we got back, hubby's cousin emailed us some of the pictures she had taken - oh my goodness - I was so embarrassed! I had no idea how huge I am. Here it is almost July again and I have only lost 10 pounds since then. So now, not only am I still huge but I'm also disgusted with myself because I look pretty much the same. Ugh!
On the upside of things, the above has given me the incentive to get up and out of bed an hour earlier than usual for the past 6 days and exercise and have not had any soda.
My hubby's been telling me for the past week, "One day at a time baby!" He's right, One day at a time.
Just appreciate your body... if you feel sexy you will look sexy. I have a couple of friends who are quite big but they are really sexy because they love their bodies. They are never short of bfs because of it.
Firstly, congrats on your weight loss - what a fabulous acheivement!
I know it is hard, because I keep going through the same from photographs and video, but remain focused on the positives.
You must be a fabulous person with outstanding acheivements so far in your weight loss! Try not to think negatively about yourself currently. Think how much better you look already, how your "old" clothes will be too big now and how amazing you are for acheiving such a brilliant weight loss with PCOS
Don't feel all food is evil, try and focus your ill feeling of food towards "bad" food and praise yourself with "good" food :-)
keep up the fabulous work (ps can you give me some tips!?!?!?!)
lol let's see, tips? I cut back on how much I was eating... went from a double quarter pounder with cheese and bacon with a super size fries to three or four chicken breast tenders and a salad. I only eat 2 meals a day and my MiL drags me out shopping at least once a day. My weight has swung between 316-360 several times. total I've probably lost over a hundred pounds, but it is within the same range of weight.
I've lost the last ten pounds just by replacing sweets and munchies with sugar free gum.
it still doesn't seem to be much though when I see that tape playing in my mind.
__________________ Janette aka SilverHawk
on 2000mg Glucophage XR
25mcg levothyroxin
Pagan Cyster
Finally Divorced!
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You have lost a lot, and should be proud of that. Don't ever discount it. I had one of those "picture" (a.k.a. brick wall) moments, too, and I was devastated.
Continue doing what you are to lose the weight, and try to set some mini goals for yourself. Small steps you can handle one at a time, one week at a time, etc. Before long, you'll have made several small changes that account for large success!
Best wishes.
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"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
-Albert Einstein
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Silverhawk, You should be so proud of yourself. And you may hate those pictures now, but later on you're going to be looking back and saying, Ican't let myself go back to that. This is you know, when you're looking hotter than you already are in a few months.
As for your husband, they love us no matter what. He know this is something we have to contend with on a daily basis. We are all here for you.
w00t great job keep up the great work!!!
one time i lost about 100 pounds...can you guess what happened? twinkies and mozerella sticks is what happened
>.> but they do have some medcine for weightloss on ebay i dont know what its called
IT WORKS! it gets rid of the appitite and helps you to stop thinking it like feels you up and really does work even my auntie tried it! the reason i stopped is because i got sick of taking pills
i really need to go back on i look in the mirror and at my pictures online and i want a bucket lmao
keep going at that weight loss!
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I had a similar moment earlier this week...it was like OMG I LOOK likre that? I used to be an athlete so its very hard to look at (plus all y cowrkers are size zeros) But here's the thing, i'm agreat person, I'm smart I'm funny and compassionate, I'm a good listener...this is what you have to focous on...and that my dear is what you hubby "sees" when he looks at you.
Oddly enough this was best expalined to me in a soap opera..days of our lives when Chloe comes back form the "dead" and Brady sees her as she was not horribly scared because she is a bueatifu; person....I know mushy and gross but it made sense.
Keep up the good work with the weight loss..little by little it'll come off.
__________________ my 2009 word of the year: "metamorphasis"
Watch me change
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Silver, I used to have that same mentality. I would get disgusted with myself after seeing pictures or video and refuse to eat. Then I would hate myself even more because that never helped me LOSE weight.
I've come to terms with food now... because you honestly DO have to eat to lose weight. You just have to eat different things. I still think that way when I think about, say... Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, or a loaded baked potato (mmmm). I think "I don't want to be a cow forever, and I will be if I give in and eat that."
Then again, I also give myself "cheat" days. I will still try to stay away from sugar because of my insulin levels, but I will allow myself a few more carbs/fat than usual. I won't stress over the bagel with cream cheese for breakfast, etc. Those are my guilt-free days. But trust me, it took a while for me to lose the guilt! I hope things get better for you!
Janette: Congrats on the weight loss. I hate seeing pics and footage of myself and even in the gym mirrors but you really should be proud of how much you lost. Hugs
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Trust me, it's hard for me as well... I've lost some and gained some back... As we speak I am struggling not to each something that I don't need... IT'S HARD!!! I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN, I KNOW I CAN!!!
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Goal #1: Lose 10 pounds... Ask and it shall be given, seek and YOU shall find....
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Janette!! WOW! you lost alot of weight!!! you should be vey proud of yourself!!
I know how you feel...believe me!
BUT just LOVE yourself for the good person you are!!!!
__________________ -Rania MARRIED SINCE 07/2001 TTC since 02/2004 - lost a baby 04/2004
I'm new to this board. I totally understand how you feel. I'm 275 and growing on a daily basis. My abdomen hurts because of my cysts, but you know what--we can be fat and happy, too!!! At least I keep telling myself this:-) Society is what has made us feel this way. Just because a person is big, doesn't mean they're not beautiful!!!!!!!!!!! Try changing the way you think. Try going out with awesome clothes and great makeup. See what happens. What do you think?
Congrats on your weight loss!! that is wonderful. Sometimes I feel the same way as you do. I will lose about 4 pounds but then for some reason I will gain it back. You are a beautiful person and I think that all we can do is take baby steps like what the other cysters say and things will be ok. (((hugs)))
__________________ Amy Diagnosed with PCOS in 2002 irregular cycles Metformin 850mg 2x a day To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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OMG I'm Disgusting! 
I still think that way when I think about, say... Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, or a loaded baked potato (mmmm). I think "I don't want to be a cow forever, and I will be if I give in and eat that." 
