The only thing that will help...

Otilia98 · 09-01-2006, 04:45 PM

On Monday we found out that our baby stopped growing at six weeks (I was 9 weeks pregnant). I had a d+c on Tuesday. Right now I feel like that only thing that is going to make me feel better is being pregnant again. I am petrified that it is going to take a long time again and than I am scared to death that it is going to happen again. Does anyone have any information on TTC after a loss that could maybe ease my mind? Thank you.

nicole47 · 09-02-2006, 02:45 PM

*hugs* This experience shouldn't happen to anyone. You may need to take some time off just emotionally. You have suffered a real loss and may need some time to heal. It may not be the best time to restart the stress of medical intervention and charting, but that is completely up to you.

As for ttc after a loss... doctors think most early miscarriages are due to chromosomal errors. They seem to be random and there's not really anything that can be done about them. Doctors say there isn't much of an increased chance of miscarriage after that... the second baby has a normal chance of sticking after one miscarriage. (So most won't do any testing until you've miscarried two or three times.

)

With women with PCOS, it might be worth looking into taking metformin during the first trimester if you're not already (and some doctors also recommend progesterone, though some do not). Metformin seems to bring the chance of first trimester miscarriage for PCOS women down to the same rate as for normal women. Doctor's don't know if there's a negative effect on the fetus, but so far none has been found and the research up to now was enough to convince me it was worth doing after my loss.

Since your body has had time to rest while you were pregnant, you may find that you ovulate on your own within the next cycle or two even if you didn't before. It has happened to several women on this board. On the pregnancy board, there's a thread called Pregnancy After a Loss (part 5)... there are many many success stories on the first page.

Please feel free to come here and talk as much as you need to, cry as much as you need to, get angry if you need to... losing a child is one of the most horrible things that can happen to a woman and I'm so sorry that you had to experience it.

LaurAnnHere · 09-02-2006, 05:27 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I always had to try again ASAP after a loss. It helped give me hope and direction. I was seeing an RE and he always let me try again immediately. As for easing your mind, I don't know if there is such a thing. I think that once you experience pregnancy loss, you are changed forever. You will worry. You will cry. There are happy endings and normal pregnancies, though. There are also difficult pregnancies with really happy endings. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

VivC · 09-03-2006, 12:56 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how terrifying this is right now. My second son was an oopsie. A blessed oopsie, but the point is I was terrified to even plan it!

I would advise having your progesterone checked as soon as you find out you're pregnant, too. Low progesterone can sometimes cause losses. In my case, my progesterone was so low the doctors were surprised I made it as far as I did, but my HCG was much higher than normal. Their guess is that the high HCG counteracted the low progesterone until I could get supplementation.

I hope that, when you're ready, you have a quick BFP and a healthy full-term pregnancy!

Otilia98 · 09-04-2006, 02:02 PM

Thank you so much for your support ladies. It helps so much to have women to talk to that know what I am going through. All of my friends seem to get pregnant right away and go to have happy, healthy babies. Don't get me wrong, that is great... But that have no idea of what I am going through. To want something so bad and try for so long. To get poked and prodded and asked a million personal questions. To put your marriage under a huge amount of stress with the timed bd and the lost feeling you have everytime another friend calls you with a BFP after trying for one cycle. To think that your head is going to explode from excitement when you get the unexpected BFP. To glide around the baby department like no woman has ever been so happy to be pregnant. To worry and wait, just praying that you will make it to 12 weeks. To be treated like an invalid at the clinic, while they tell you there is nothing wrong with your baby and that you are just paranoid, just to prove them wrong when they can't find the heartbeat. And after it is all said and done, people act as if you are sad about something that never was. They make it seem as though I should not be so sad because my baby was never born. As if I did not bond with the baby, as if my daughter did not draw pictures and kiss my belly constantly, as if my husband did not talk to "his son" almost every night. And people act like we have lost nothing. Thanks so much for listening to my rant ladies. I really appreciate all the support.