Our adoption journey

Agster · 03-26-2005, 04:44 PM

When I became in engaged to DH in 2001, we wanted a family right away. I had been diagnosed with PCOS in 1995 so I knew there would be problems. I went to my gyn for help right away. Silly me, I thought he would help but instead he sent me home saying 'try for a year first'. We moved shortly after that and I had a new gyn who had me do charts for awhile. He also ordered blood tests. It turned out I was ovulating on my own but only about 1/2 the time. He prescribed clomid. I had day 12 ultrasounds and day 24 progesterone tests. I was ovulating all the time now but only on the right. We still had not conceived after almost 2 years. The doc ordered an SA done DH and and HSG for me. It turns out my right tube is blocked...the only ovary that responded to clomid. We don't know why the left would not respond. Also, DH was diagnosed with low morphology. WE had one surgical procedure that was supposed to unblock my right tube. It did not. At this point, our only option was ICSI and we chose not to put ourselves through it. As a single person, I ahd planned to adopt but had not finished the process when I met DH. We had to start the process over as a couple. We had always been plugging away at it but now we started in earnest.
We rejected the idea of a newborn adoption because the waiting time would be too long for domestic and would be too expensive for overseas. We decided to adopt through the local foster agency. We requested a sibling group, at least one girl, under the age of five... We went through the application process, reference checks, a criminal record check, and a health check. this took about a year. Then we started the homestudy. this entails a social worker coming into our home and asking us questions about the most intimate details of our lives. They also wanted to know how we planned on raising the kids, what kind of back ground/disability we would accept etc. The homestudy took us about another 6 months.
When this was done, we waited for approval. We got it about 6 weeks later. Now all we had to do was wait for a match. They offered us a sibling group of 4 the next month. We were told they were legally adoptable but found out after two months of prep[moving, setting up the house for them] that they were not legally ready for adoption and were actually going to be returned to their birth mom. We were devestated by this mix up. After that, we had two more potential matches fall trhough. Then we heard about Mikka and Kiesha, two sisters age 4 and 5. We got their file and learned more about them. Other then mild FAS they did not have any troubles. We decided to meet them and fell in love. We visited them in their foster home for a month and then came home on January 13th of this year. The whole process took just under 2 years. According to Canadian law, the adoption will become final after 6months,.July 13th.

Lisa2008 · 03-26-2005, 06:47 PM

Welcome to the boards from a fellow Canadian. Thanks for sharing your story.

dna · 03-27-2005, 10:04 PM

Welcome to the Board Fellow Canadian !

Congrats on your pending adoption

stark tjej · 03-29-2005, 09:40 PM

Welcome Agster, fellow Canadian.
Can you tell me more about the foster system in Canada -your experiences with it and anything you think a person should know?

Agster · 03-31-2005, 11:41 PM

Hi stark tjej,
My experience was not really a good one but the end result was. We had alot of delays and the system has alot of miscommunications. It took about 10 months longer then it should have. In foster system adoptions, the process will go quicker if you are willing to accept a sibling group. Also, the wider range of special needs you are willing to accept, the better chance of a match. Another thing is it is very rare to get a newborn unless they are part of a sibling group.
If you or your DH/Partner have a criminal record, you will have to prove that criminal activity is no longer part of your life. DH had an old record [13 years ago] and it was very hard on him to have to explain himself and gaurantee it would never happen again.

Agster · 03-31-2005, 11:44 PM

Just to add, there are no fees at all for this kind of adoption. The only money we put out was for the criminal record check [$100 each] and the travel expenses to go visit the girls in their foster home prior to placement.