oedi

i think i'm just writing this to get it off my chest..wondering if anyone is in the same boat as me.

i was diagnosed with PCOS in August and went on Metformin in early October. i'm at 1000 mg now, taking magnesium supplements, exercising as often as i can, being really careful with my diet. But that's the thing. I took the diagnosis so hard because I have struggled with anorexia and eating disordered behavior for so much of my life, and I can't think of a year since the age of 10 where I wasn't restricting food. I know so much of maintaining and treatin PCOS is relating to diet and exercise.

I am not overweight, I am not underweight, I am average sized. I don't need to lose weight technically, though I would love to. I don't consider myself skinny either, though I know I struggle with self image. My point is, in spite of this I feel like my life is now dominated by food issues. Way before my PCOS diagnosis I had problems with food and now I have no choice but to be restrictive. My fasting blood sugar was about 106, my doctor told me while that was not alarming it was higher than it needed to be. Since then I have been so careful about the choices I make with food. But I feel like that's all I think about. I really cut down on carbs and sugar, but food is on my mind constantly. What I can't have, what I can have, planning my meals way in advance. I fall asleep thinking about food. I might not be eating the amount I need to some days, but it's just really hard. I feel like it's unbearabe. I'm so obsessive with food. It's not normal but never has been for me. I just have no relief, if anything since the diagosis I can't stop obsessing. I was more lax and healthy before I knew I had PCOS.

I hear so much about strict diets when you have this that I feel like I need to be on as well. But I don't feel happy any more. I am so miserable and depressed and food/meals are on my mind it feels like every moment. If I have a little brown rice or something sweet, like a dessert, I end up angry at myself afterward. I know there is a fine line between watching your diet for your health and beating yourself up. I have always been problematic with food and self image. It's just so much harder now.

I'm not sure what to do. Every time I eat a carb I feel like I'm going to make myself really sick, like I am completely endangering my state of physical health. I sometimes think as soon as I eat sugar the PCOS is going to get really bad. I want to feel a little more human. Thanksgiving is coming up, I'll be with my family, I don't want to restrict and be unhappy but I feel relegated.

Am I being unrealistic here...with this whole diet and carb thing? Can I allow myself to ease up or am I accurate with my assumption I'm going to be making myself unhealthy if I let myself eat freely?

nicole47

Hey-- I'm like you, I can't eat healthily if I'm obsessing about food.

Here's what's been working for me (and I'm finally in the "normal weight" range). I'm not on a diet. Since I've found out I've had PCOS I've gradually (over about 3 months) swapped out all of the refined carbohydrates in our house for complex carbohydrates. We only have wheat and buckwheat pasta, we only have brown and red rice (whole foods #6696), we have a lot more fruit than we used to and our freezer is full of trader joe's frozen veggies. I don't buy white potatoes, always have sweet potatoes on hand, never have white bread, always have whole wheat bread. I've also started trying new things-- we have quinoa, all sorts of kashi products, bulgar, steel cut oats, red lentils, black lentils and a bunch of stuff we never used to get before-- and we eat them instead of letting them get dusty on the shelf. These whole grains really do fill me up much better than anything else does.

I always always eat breakfast now (usually whole grain cereal with little to no added sugar). This alone seems to have made a big difference.

I do 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar shot before lunch and before dinner. (There's a vinegar and IR thread you should check out). I can really tell a difference when I don't do it, especially if I've cheated a little and had something with refined carbohydrates.

I also try to use our smaller plates and bowls and go back for seconds if I'm still hungry rather than having a big amount all at once.

I also eat lots of pickles and have nuts, dried fruit, and kashi crackers to snack on when I get hungry-- I never deny my hunger-- I listen to it and feed it in small amounts. A little nuts or whole grain crackers will go a long way.

It took a little while to get used to not eating so much sugar, but after a month or so sweet things started tasting too sweet and less sweet things seem sweet enough. It's gotten easier and easier.

The PCOS diet book recommends an 80/20 rule for dieting as well-- it's ok to cheat 20% of the time if you're good the remaining 80%. I think it's important not to deprive ourselves too much and to not feel guilty when we cheat a little, but to forge on being good afterwards.

So yeah, diets don't work for me but this has been working-- I'm finally in a normal weight range for my height for the first time in almost 6 years.