Over 30 and TTC - wanna share thoughts?

Megan · 11-14-2002, 03:07 AM

I am sitting here happily ovulating like a steam train, according to my OPKs and I am trying hard to convince myself that we will be PG again this cycle, since our last angel baby.

It is starting to bother me that I am now 33. That means that our child, if I get pg this month, will be born just before I turn 34. Which means that our second child would be born when I am about 36. That makes me feel a bit jittery from time to time.

Anyone else hearing the clock ticking louder each year? Anyone aware that it gets harder each year to see friends and peers wander past you with their 5 year-olds and you still don't even have an infant to brag about?

Just wondering...

julie t · 11-14-2002, 05:11 AM

yes megan i hear you!! im 37 and waiting to have my final ivf cycle in jan, knowing this is my final chance ever is a scary thought,
i cant concieve naturally now i have no tubes so this is it for me no more, final, all my friends kids have grown up the eldest being 15 so i find it really strange. i had somebody tell me last week on here " i think i would have given up ttc by now" that remark has put me back again and made me feel down and depressed. no one knows what its like, ive had 16 years of treatment to concieve and lost the babies i look back and think id have a teenager by now and a set of 7 year old twins if things had worked out and id got to keep them, but well who knows this last cycle might be succesful for me im praying hard.
good luck to you!!
julie.

LSGMSU1 · 11-14-2002, 08:45 AM

This last birthday (31) really depressed me. I had just gotten AF a couple of weeks earlier (and it turned out it was my last O cycle for 4 months). Now I will be 32 in March and I'm still no closer to my goal. I know with PCOS, it gets harder to get pg with each passing year. The worst part is I have O'd 10 times since TTC and I know my DH has a decent SA but still nothing is happening. My DH does not want me to seek any further treatment than Clomid and timed BD (he's really afraid of multiples and said he would do the one SA as long as he didn't have to do it again no matter what).

What scares me most, and this is on my mind because my grandmother passed away in February, is growing old and developing heath problems without a support system. With each passing year it seems more likely.

But I'm seeing an RE December 4 and hopefully, even with my options limited she'll have some answers.

I'm praying really hard for us all.

julie t · 11-14-2002, 08:55 AM

i know what you mean, i get scared of the future, growing old and having no family of my own, i lost my grandad 6 years ago and we all nursed him to the end, it just makes me think who will be there for me when im old and alone ill have no family if i cant concieve, i know you dont bring children into the world to see you through your old age but it just makes me feel sad, ive worked in an old folks home and i saw for myself what its like for some of the residents that had no children and it seemed pretty lonely to me. on the other hand i hope to god that my nephews will be there for me when they are grown and have children of there own. is it just me being morbid or does anyone else worry bout the future??

Megan · 11-14-2002, 11:19 PM

we think and talk often about our future. We bought a bare block of land 2 years ago and we worked like dogs to make it a proper farm. We built a lovely home with plenty of room for kids, then we planted fruit trees and built fences and sheds and yards. We always assumed that we were building something for our children and just lately we have lost enthusiasm. I think part of that is because we are unsure that we will have kids, so why bother building something for them? It's a terrible feeling of despondence.

I guess what we have to do is stick our chins out and battle on. I heard today that a friend of mine is expexting her first at 27 and I felt awful - I should have had my children then, not waited until I was 31 to even start trying. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, of course.

Keep smiling and babydust to you both!

LSGMSU1 · 11-15-2002, 03:04 PM

Megan,

I agree with you about regretting on waiting to TTC. I wish I went off BCP when I got engaged at 27 instead of waiting almost 2 years after we were married. But my DH wanted to save some money before we had kids and I was getting established in my career. Those 3 years might have given me a better edge.

All we cam do now is carry on and try our best to achieve our goal of becoming parents and hope and pray.

Baby dust to everyone.

Chrissy · 11-15-2002, 05:09 PM

I send you good wishes and hopes for a happy pregnancy! I had both my children in my thirties and it felt great. Now when I have to take time away from myself and do for my kids I know its their turn. I have no resentment that I lost "my " time. I had plenty of it as well as time with my husband before they arrived. Most of my friends are having kids now in their late thirties and all is going well for them too.

I am a special education teacher and always feared the percentages I'd read about in school. Even though the chances of abnormalities increase, so do the misscariiages, possibly for natural reasons. I decided not to let fear interrupt my life especially since i never saw any clear proof of this age thing in my students' situations. Many parents were quite young. Best of luck to you!

Chrissy

sparrow · 11-15-2002, 09:40 PM

I'm like Megan; I calculate every month how old I'll be when the baby's born if I get pg this cycle.

I have the same feelings about waiting to TTC. I even read an online article about it (can't remember source) and the author was talking about how people who "put off" having children and then have problems find out they may have missed their chance, ha ha. It made me feel terrible.

BUT. In my fragile and somewhat twisted emotional state right now, it all looks like roses when I look back...gee, we were so young and had so much time, why didn't we have kids sooner...but I know the truth is, I didn't want to have kids until we were both ready. I wanted us to be in this together. We are now both emotionally and financially ready for them. Just a little later than most couples, maybe.

But hey! God's clock doesn't work the same as our clock!

MyJourney · 11-16-2002, 02:40 AM

I'm 29 and have been TTC for 20 months and I must say that I am thouroughly sick of it. It totally ruled my life it was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing I thought of at night.
I really want to take a break, but like Meagn the ticking is bothering me. So my solution is not to go at it with all I've got. I know I ovulate every month, so I figure that if it was meant to be it'll happen.
On the other hand, what julie said aboutgrowing old with no kids, reallly bothers me too...
I'm kinda stuck. I'm in the last year of my 20s, any baby I'll have will be born after I'm 30.
Well, this post isn't coming together, so I'll leave it at that.

shetana · 12-07-2002, 01:22 PM

I am 34 and due in June! 6 docs told me it would not happen without invitro. I started following the Zone principles (very loosely) and added herbs to my diet. After several months of getting the right herb mixture for me - I'm pg! Don't give up hope. We all just need to find the right combo.

By the way, I was on MET, but so sick all the time, with very low bp and fainting spells, I quit after 5months. Doctors do not always know best.

take a look at the alternative remedies board

JulieC · 12-18-2002, 03:12 PM

Add me to the club. I'm an info junkie and though I think I've read more about IF and PCOS than any non-medical person should, I keep searching and searching trying to find the answers.
Anyway, I've heard the clock ticking for years (even before we started TTC), but waited until our situation was right. Oh well, can't get that time back.

Lisa (LSGMSU1), have you had an HSG or a post-coital? Neither is fun, but might be helpful. Any monitoring via ultrasound or progresterone testing of your O's? I hope your RE can help you out!

I'm currently waiting for my newly referred RE's office to call me back just to make an appointment. Gotta love the waiting ... and waiting ... and waiting (NOT!)

JulieC · 12-18-2002, 03:14 PM

Congrats Shetana on your PG

May your remaining 6 months be happy and healthy!

LSGMSU1 · 12-19-2002, 12:32 PM

Julie,

I've had an HSG and my tubes are clear. The only findings are a tipped uterus (which the RE says doesn't make a difference) and a narrow cervix (which the RE and my gynecologist say might). I have a second RE appointment on February 3rd to discuss a game plan. It was the soonest I could get in. I know what you mean about the waiting!

JulieC · 12-19-2002, 02:39 PM

The RE's office called me back yesterday afternoon. I have an appointment for January 6! I am totally shocked, I was sure it was going to be at least February some time.

Narrow cervix ... would IUI work around that? The radiologist didn't have any problem getting the catheter through mine during my HSG so I'm guessing I don't have that. I do have a tipped uterus too and was also told that didn't matter one way or the other. I know my doctor (my mom's doctor) said on my first pelvic exam that hers was tipped back too, obviously it didn't matter for her.

I hope your waiting goes by quickly. I think it might be the worst part, aside from just "the unknown". If I could just read the last page of this novel and find how it turns out, I could deal with the waiting a bit better

LSGMSU1 · 12-21-2002, 04:30 PM

Julie,

Good luck with your RE appointment January 6th. Let us know how it goes.

I may try IUI (maybe even unmedicated before adding Clomid) because in addition to the narrow cervix, as you know, I'm not sure if DH is ejaculating when BDing.