Hey ladies! I have a question for you. All my life I have been super attached to my Mom. And because she had me later in life, a fear of mine has always been her passing before I could grow up. Now that I am an adult, and see she is still here, I can't let go of my irrational fear of losing her. Sometimes it just hits me out of no where, some day my Mom is going to pass away and I don't know how I can handle that. The fear of losing her goes way beyond what I feel is normal. She's been my rock for everything, and to think that one day I won't have her to turn to reduces me to tears. I just can't help dwelling on it from time to time, and even though it hasn't happened yet, it's like I can feel my desire to live deminish. This can't be normal, right? Could this possibly be just a part of my chronic depression, even though I am treated for it?
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Jaime To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Kevin
Dr's said I was dead at birth; I'm alive
Dr's said I had cancer @ age 3; No cancer
Dr's said I wouldn't live past 16; I'm 27
Dr's said I may never have kids of my own; God (and I) will beat that one too
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I UNDERSTAND COMPLETEL I HAVE THOSE FEELINGS TOWARD M OLDER SISTER SHE PECTICALLY RAISED ME SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND AND I CAN'T GO A DAY WITHOUT TALKING TO OR SEEING HER BUT I HAVE THAT SAME FEAR , SOMETIMES IT JUST HITS ME AND All i can do is pray , i think if anything were to ever happen i wold have to be put in a home the love i have is so strong that the feaar is criplling
I feel like that sometimes. I can't have children, and I took my niece to a kiddie concert once and they were singing "Puff the Magic Dragon," which I associate with my dad. I started crying uncontrollably. My parents had my older, and I'm an only child, so I do have a fear of losing them. My father had cancer last year, and at that point I actually got LESS emotional. But I do have an irrational (?) fear of losing my beloved husband.
It's my personal opinion that there's nothing wrong or abnormal about sometimes thinking about how we would feel/what we would experience if we lose a loved one that we're exceptionally close to and care about. As an only child who was homeschooled, moved 18 times in 18 years, with a detached and narcissitic father, my mom was my best friend. I would sometimes cry at night when I was younger at the thought of her not being in my life anymore. I ended up losing her to cancer when I was 17, and never really got a chance to mourn her death (was too busy talking my dad out of suicide for a year afterward).
The point is, I survived. Yes, it was incredibly painful, but her death gave way to a new beginning for me, a life full of adventure and love that I never would have thought was possible during the three years I took care of her as she battled cancer.
I'm not the least bit ashamed of my sometimes overwhelming fear of losing the man I share my life with. I don't care if others call it irrational or worse: I cherish him to no end and cannot imagine my life without him, and feel blessed to have found such a love.
So, hun, bottom line is that as long as it's not unhealthy or detrimental to your overall mental and emotional health, don't doubt yourself when you occassionally think about your mom, your love for her, the bond you both share, and what a void will be left when she moves on from this world. You know what the best cure for that "empty" feeling is? To call her up and tell her exactly how you feel- I'm sure she'll feel incredibly loved and like the best mom in the world. :-)
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Thank you guys so much, your wonderful words are very comforting!
I am sorry for your loss AlaskaFlyGirl, but it's nice to see how tragedy can be turned into something positive.
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Jaime To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Kevin
Dr's said I was dead at birth; I'm alive
Dr's said I had cancer @ age 3; No cancer
Dr's said I wouldn't live past 16; I'm 27
Dr's said I may never have kids of my own; God (and I) will beat that one too
TTC a sticky miracle since '06 - 3 m/c To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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Oh my Goodness... You have just said EVERYTHING I feel... it's hit me evennn more lately though...
but I've known up2 5 people that have passed this yr.. and one of them was my neighbor ... her son was banging our door crying "mama... wake up mam... wake up.. oh no.. oh please" and I had to call for the Ambulance etc...... and saw her body.. that was soo emotional.. and since then my fear of my mum dying has hit the roof... certain times I check on her to make sure she is ok and she'll be happily on the computer etc... it's sooo bad... I've even burst out in tears thinking of it before ... I'm her only child... she's all I've had.... she's my rock too"".. She had me at 29...
I'm happy to have seen this thread!
I've also beeen getting emotional about other stuff the past couple of weeks.. me and my partner had an arguement about our puppy... then once over I looked in the mirror and then ended up crying on his shoulder... he thought it was because of the argument... but it wasn't.. I looked in the mirror n was disgusted at myself
been kinda down recently....
sorry.. vent time!
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Medication -Back on Metformin PROPERLY - Metformin SR 500mg x 3 Per day Exercise - Jogging 1 hour each time. 3 times a week Diet - Cutting out most Fatty Foods & Sweet things Weight- Weighed over 252lbs in 2006 and My Weight now is a little over 200lbs -
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Jaime To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Kevin
Dr's said I was dead at birth; I'm alive
Dr's said I had cancer @ age 3; No cancer
Dr's said I wouldn't live past 16; I'm 27
Dr's said I may never have kids of my own; God (and I) will beat that one too
TTC a sticky miracle since '06 - 3 m/c To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Over Emotional? 
