I just had a D&E on tues 10/28. I found out i had miscarried at 11w6d. I woke up this morning feeling a bit better, and felt like i was beginning to se a light at the end of the tunnel. Then my dr called... She told me that the pathology report came back and I had had a partial molar pregnancy. ok - so why at 6w6d 7w6d & 9w2d did I see a heartbeat (rising normally) and a baby that looked normal??? I'm almost 36 fricken years old and now I run the risk of developing gestational trophoblastic disease (cancer), and will have to be tested regularly to make sure everything is ok. on top of that I will most likely have to wait another year before we can ttc again. I also run the risk of this happening again.
Does someone just have it out for me?? Am I just not meant to be a parent???
I'm just devastated.
If anyone has any info or experience with partial molar pregnancies, please share your stories. I feel completely alone.
The link says, " A partial molar pregnancy is a variation of a molar pregnancy, an abnormal pregnancy in which an embryo (the fertilized egg) either develops incompletely, or doesn’t develop at all. Instead, a cluster of grape-like cysts (known as a hydatidiform mole) grows in the uterus. In a partial molar pregnancy, an incomplete embryo and placenta (the sac in which the fetus grows) may actually start to develop."
I don't know about the heart beat though. That doesn't sound like a molar pregnancy.
But regardless of what it was, it was your baby. And it is devastating, no matter what kind of a miscarriage it is.
You'll be in my thoughts hun. I am so sorry.
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Stephanie 24 & DH 24
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"If you're going through hell, keep going." Winston Churchill
If there was a normal fetus, it could have been a twin pregnancy, one that was molar, one that was not....those pregnancies almost always end in m/c, or the developing fetus has a trisomy that is incompatible with life. I am so tremendously sorry for your loss. I hope you find the answers you are looking for....
i know exactly how you feel! i had a partial molar pregnancy earlier this year and it's been a long emotional recovery. found out i was pregnant in january after 2 1/2 years of trying. everything was going well.. normal heart beat at 8 weeks and normally developing fetus at 12 weeks. at 16 1/2 week appt could not detect heart beat. ultrasound confirmed no heart beat. had a d&c the next day. at next appt. dr told me i had a different type of molar pregnancy with a seemingly normally developing fetus and a placenta that turned into molar tissue. in a complete molar there is no fetus just a mass of cells. this happens when an egg with no genetic material is fertilized by a sperm which duplicates itself. with partial there is a fetus that appears to be normal but has major problems. a partial happens when an egg is fertilized by two sperm so the fetus has 3 sets of genetic material. did they test your fetus? mine came back with 69 chromosomes.
i was shocked at diagnosis and treatment that would follow. it took three months to get my hcg levels below 2 (going weekly for testing) and am now doing monthly testing until next august. i am nearly 30 and am VERY anxious to start trying again as it took so long before. but am scared that i will have another molar or that i won't be able to conceive. my dr talked to an oncologist who said that people aren't waiting as long anymore and that he's comfortable with me trying after 6 mos if i want. that will be february so i still have a few mos.
sorry for the long post but i have so much to say about this. it's a relief to hear from other people going through this because you don't feel like you're such a freak. let me know how things progress with you.
you're not alone...
Runner - I just had my blood work done yesterday 10/31 for the first time since D&C on 10/28. my HCG was 291. I haven't heard from my Dr. yet, but I imagine I will be getting my blood work done each week. They are testing the fetus for chromosomal abnormalities, but say that should take about a month. My emotions have run the gambit as I'm sure you can imagine. First off, I was just beginning to wrap my head around having a m/c & being told that I had to wait a week to have a D&C (there were scheduling problems), so I had to sit there with my dead baby inside me for a WEEK!! It was the worst week ever. Then I had to convince myself that waiting a couple of months to start the whole fertility process again wasn't the end of the world. After all, people keep telling me that I have plenty of time to get pregnant. Well, I'll be 36 in a month and it sure doesn't feel like I have a lot of time. But I did what I could and tried to put everything into perspective. I accepted the fact that I had m/c'd (as much as possible) and just counted the minutes until the D&C. Thursday morning 11/30, I woke up and actually didn't feel that bad (emotionally). I went for a short walk (first time I had left the house since I had found out about the m/c, except for D&C), ran a couple of errands, and for the first time didn't feel as though my life was doomed for failure. It was a good few hours, until I got the call that was so unexpected and shocking, which set me in a tailspin. I sat there on the other end of the phone & I heard "pathology report... partial molar pregnancy... gestational trophoblastic disease... cancer... chemo... 6 months to a year..." I was thrown so much information that I just couldn't process. I had never heard of PMP, and the odds were so slim 1-1,500, why me!!!
So it's 2 days later, and the miscarriage itself is no longer the issue. I am now thinking about what the next year holds for me. I have spent so much time and energy trying to get pregnant that I don't even know what to do with myself. My entire world has shattered. In my adult life, I've never really been very spiritual, but I'm starting to think that someone has it out for me.
I keep telling myself over and over that I am giving myself this weekend to finish grieving and come monday it's time to take care of ME. After all, I've got nothing but time on my hands, so why not start getting healthy again. Yoga, eating better, acupuncture, anything that will help me with mind, body & spirit. Well, that's what I tell myself anyway.
It's nice to know that there is someone else out there who has had a similar experience. I wish you all the luck in TTC, and so sorry that you had to go through what I am going through. A miscarriage is bad enough, but this is something different altogether...
Spatch100- I am so sorry for you loss. I know exactly how you feel i had a partial mole Last year. I was devastated it took me a long time to get over it (I still have my days). I was 8weeks and had this overwhelming feeling something was wrong I called the dr. 5 times because of spotting and then went in. The stupid dr told me over the PHONE I was having a m/c (they did a HCG) and said they could not help me and if i had a problem to go to the hospital. I was in a lot of pain I went to the hospital the dr said they would do a d&c so it would all be over soon. They sent me to ultra sound first and saw the heartbeat they told me I had a miracle baby and sent me home. The next day I was in the same pain and I went back to the hospital when they finally did a pelvic (the other dr did not want to do it). After that I went to the bathroom and it just fell out! Long story short I was tested for a year and cancer free and found out I have PCOS. If you need someone to talk to I have been there. I'm 26 so I don't feel the time crunch you said you feel but I am a good listener.
Amy I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I can see from you signature that you had a IUI. I had an ectopic pregnancy after my first IVF cycle (after 6 IUI's one resulted in a m/c). I just wanted to tell you take time to heal. Not a day goes by that I do not think about my babies I lost (even though I went one to have a beautiful miracle dd)
I started seeing a therapist after my ectopic 2 years ago. (I still see her now every few months) She helped me take away the alone feeling. Many therapist specialize in infertility/pregnancy loss. Good luck to you and I am here for you!
I'm brand new to this site and pcos in general. I'm very very sorry for your loss. there is nothing in the world worse then loosing your baby, except the older it gets the harder I'm sure. I feel for you girl I mean you got to hear it's heart. I was only 8 weeks. It was my first pregnany and I tried for so long, didn't thik I could. It ended up being eptoptic (sorry bad speller) and it actually reptured to do being misdiagnosed. Just now are they starting to look into as a molar regnancy so I too am very confused and am looking for info. I wish I had some to share. I know how you feel but to a lesser degree. and it doesn't feel very good
I had my blood drawn again this past friday and my HCG went down from 291 to 21. My Drs are encouraged by the drop and think that this friday it should be down in the zero range or close to it.
I am now as informed and educated as possible regarding Partial Molar Pregnancies. It just sucks that there is so little research on them, and the Drs base their decisions on Molar pregnancies.
amy,
your low numbers are very encouraging. but don't be surprised if they go down much slower at the end. mine went down by one each week at the end so it can get frustrating.
and it is also very frustrating how drs dont know much about pmp. the entire process is frustrating and takes a ton of patience. it has really tested me in ways i never thought i would be. good luck with your testing..hope your numbers go down quickly and stay down.
kelly
Amy and Kelly,
I just went through this starting Tuesday. My entire pregnancy was a roller coaster ride. I had some spotting around 5 weeks and had an ultrasound. The day I had the ultrasound was supposed to be the 2nd day you can see the fetal pole, but it was not visible yet. So I spent an agonizing week waiting for another ultrasound and reading all about blighted ovum (which I now wish would have been the case), just to have the u/s tech call and say she needed to cancel. I called my dr. and she said that she would do the u/s and everything actually looked great at this point, only my due date changed slightly. I then had the regular 6-8 week u/s at 8 weeks and the baby looked once again, fine. The heart beat was visible and at the right speed. Then on Tuesday (the 11th), I went to the dr. very excited to get to hear the heartbeat for the first time at 12 weeks, only the heart beat was not detected by dopplar. My dr. sent me to the u/s tech, and as soon as I saw the baby on the screen, I knew something was wrong. There was no longer a heart beat. I just had the D/C yesterday, and I am really struggling emotionally. I am really not looking forward to going to the dr. weekly to check my HCG and get to see all the baby bumps of all the other happily pregnant women there. And on top of that I have to wait 6 months to even try again! It probably will be at least a year later by the time I might even have another baby. I hope that everything works out for you.
Danielle - I could have written that myself. I know exactly what you are going through. The only advice I can give you is allow yourself time to grieve, surround yourself with people who you can truly rely on, and take it one day at a time. Everyday gets a bit easier.
Kelly - Thank you for all of your advice & support.
I have another blood draw in an hour and then have my post-op follow-up appointment later today. Hopefully things will still be going in a positive direction. I'll keep you all posted.
Just thought I'd let you all know that my blood work came back and it was in the zero range (<6). YAY!! My Dr wants me to come in again next friday to make sure it's still <6 & then it will be checked monthly.
DH & I have decided to move out of MA to NJ. Now I need to find all new docs. I really love the ones I have at MGH & don't know how I'm gonna find new ones.
I also cant stand getting conflicting information from everyone. I just want a definitive answer as to when I can TTC. I am comfortable with only waiting 3 months, I just have to find an RE who will treat me then. ARGH!!!
danielle-
so sorry about what you're going through. i had my d/c in may and might be able to ttc in february. its a very long process and requires a lot of patience. it's nice to hear from others who are going through same thing because you feel like its so abnormal. hope your numbers go down quickly and that you're able to try again soon.
amy-
that's awesome that you're numbers went down so fast. as far as the time to wait ttc, did your dr tell you how long to wait? my dr talked to an oncologist who said that 6 mos is probably enough time to wait and he is comfortable with that. i've heard other people say less but i don't know if drs recommend. feb will be my 6 mos but i'm tempted to try in jan. its been so hard to wait but its gotten even harder as it gets closer. the thought of a possible cancerous growth scares me enough to wait a bit longer...but i might be a bit paranoid.