chasingpavements

We have had one ivf 2 iui with clomid, 2 with femara and 1 iui with injectables. Right now i am goint through the tww but in my heart i dont feel like anything is going on special inside of me. I am just having a hard time because although we have the money to spend on it, who wants to keep putting it down the drain. Its so hard not knowing if it will EVER work. I am 24 and my partner is 30 and she's not getting any younger. She has wanted a child for a very long time now. My partner has no interest in carrying but one day we would like to use her eggs. But if I cant even get preg with mine, what good am i? I really feel bad about myself because of this and I know nothing is going to fix it unless i ever do get preg. I think I will always feel inadequate. I have prayed so hard and taken all that medicine and now I am just feeling like God must not think Im worthy enough. I am just wondering is there anyone who has some encouraging words to say or some helpful information.

~jenjen~

listen, you are adequate and worthy and need to be able to know that about yourself before you bring another life into the world...a life you can call worthy and adequate...i can understand your partner not wanting to carry but she's 30 - her eggs will be healthy for several more years..and if she wants a kid so bad and sees just how much this is hurting you than maybe she should step up to the plate and offer her womb for 9months. Not to be too blunt by that, you have time to relax and take your time...you are 24 time is on your side...start with relaxing and focusing on you and your perfect child and your worth and sense of pride for what you WANT! stay calm and don't get wrapped up in the meds, the drs, the stress...once that's removed then keep it simple and plan to do one thing at a time...it may work - it may not...but don't drive yourself crazy and put yourself down so low because of something you cannot change. love yourself.
jen.