I'm very happy to have found this website and have the chance to ask a group like you (anonymously) something that has been on my mind as I court a wonderful young lady with PCOS.
She is really about the most quality woman I have ever dated, I like her, and respect her very much. However, I have found that I am curiously lacking any real POTENT sexual attraction to her. And recently I have listened to a talk addressing the biochemistry of sex and how complementary hormones between men and women help engender such attraction.
This being the case, I am wondering if this young lady might have some hormone imbalance due to PCOS which neutralizes such a dynamic. Sometimes, for example, she moves just to hold my hand and I find myself somewhat biologically repulsed by it ... though, as I said, I do care for and respect her very much. If we didn't have this problem, I'd likely propose marriage.
So, I'm just wondering if my instincts on this are correct. After all, don't PCOS women have an imbalance of typically male hormones? I'm suspicious that this is the case with this wonderful lady.
Hey,
Doesn't anyone have a comment on this topic?
Positive or negative would be a big help. Or is it that your cyster wives or girlfriends are on this site too?
Please let me know what you think ... even if you're telling me I'm off my rocker.
Thank you.
Hi,
I'm not a guy and have no idea about sexual biochemestry, but here are my thoughts. Feel free to take them or leave them. I personally think that pheromones that we all produce play a heavy role in sexual attraction, passion, and that special chemistry between two people. I have always thought that it wasn't looks that were important but the chemistry between two people. I also think this goes for not only intimate relationships but also those we choose as friends, confidants, and others we trust. My entire life the majority of my friends have been male and growing up I quickly learned that the difference between a great friendship with a man and something more was that certain spark/chemistry. It amazes me that I can't find any rhyme or reason for it, it just is. We hear all the time that the one person that someone truly fell in love with was not at all their "type", the only explination I can come up with for that is chemistry. I don't know if that made any sence or was at all helpful or not but wanted to say something.
Does she feel an intense sexual attraction to you or does she feel the same as you?
__________________ Deliah
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Ok....I will start out with a disclaimer. I am not an expert on the subject nor do I claim to be..but I will share my opinion anyway for what it is worth.
For me, most of the time I am very attracted to my boyfriend,but recently have not been acting that way. I know that I am still in love with him..but we have been arguing alot about alot of things...and since I am trying to close myself off emotionally..I feel like I have to shut down the physical attraction,too. Not that it is not there for me personally...just that I am TRYING to avoid it. He really actually has no clue what is going on in my life(which is my fault not his) - I just give him the rough overview.
So before you start wondering about the scientific aspect - why don't you start with the basics? Are you doing okay emotionally with this supposedly wonderful girl you are dating? Is there something that has been on your mind lately that you might not have shared with her or might be trying to hide? If so,there is a good explanation for why you might not be feeling as attracted to her as you think you should be. Is she feeling attraction to you? If not,she might have some emotional issues that you don't know about occuring and that could be effecting your couple chemistry, too. A good start might be talking about how the both of you are feeling.
I guess there could be some validity to your scientific evidences. There is a good possibilty of that.
Or I guess you could go along with a fellow older coworker of mine who read this who thinks you want to have your cake and eat it to. She said that maybe you aren't attracted to this girl at more than a friendship level because the majority of women on this forum are not your average size or whatever reason you want to add in here...If that is the case - then why don't we go with why are you stringing her along? What do you gain from that? Is it worth it to you? You know she was probably looking when she found you and believe it or not. If you don't have feelings for her, you should give her a fighting chance to find someone who will reciprocate her love. I am afraid you may lose this woman guywithquestions - then will you be where you want to be?
If not,I suggest two more things. Think about your life without her in it. If that is where you want to be....fine. If that is not where you want to be..try to do everything in your power to make it work.
You say you would marry this girl - but you feel no POTENT sexual attraction? That sounds like a bunch of hogwash to me. So you aren't saying you don't feel sexual attraction,just that the attraction you do feel is not POTENT?
I guess I am to old and have seen to many things in my life - but if I find a man who has all the qualities that you say this lovely young lady has - I would probably try to hold onto him myself. I guess maybe because I have worked in a nurse like setting for to long to think otherwise. Once you get old,you lose it all anyway,afraid to say. I hope that if you do decide that you just want to be friends with the wonderful girl you talked about....I hope you can find whatever it is you are looking for.
Proverbs 31:10 Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
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Don't have an answer for you but stick around the guys are here...they must be out bowling or something They will check in soon enough
__________________ Me (28) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DH (31)
12-5-07 Andrew
You're repulsed by her wanting to hold your hand? That's a little brutal, bud.
How about some questions to clarify and give me a better understanding of what you're talking about:
What is it that's really bugging you? Is it the physical contact itself? Is there something about her appearance? Is the repulsion something coming from her, or is it more along the lines of embarrasment on your part? What symptoms of PCOS does she have? How long have you known her? What do you mean by "potent" sex drive?
Now on to the next set of questions:
What's this girl like? How do you feel when you're around her? What kinds of things do you usually talk about? If you were to just sit down and talk somewhere, with nothing to bother you or disrupt the conversation, how long do you think you could just sit there talking with her?
I'm sorry to be drilling you here, but I need some more details here before I can offer any helpful advice.
have to agree with flyn here, your a little harsh if you feel repulsed by holding hands with her
Maybe you are trying to be a friend more than a sexual partner.
I feel that you might want to figure what you want from the relationship with the lass, i know first hand that even girls with PCOS can be the most lovable people there are, yes sometimes they have thier bad days, but when my gf is on a good day (which is most the time) we have a great time. I am not sayin we are the perfect couple but we are working on it.
You have a slight advantage on me, you know that your 'friend' has PCOS. I found out later in the relationship and took it upon myself to find out more.
If you are worried about the hormones thing, maybe you try reading up on it a little. None of us on here are experts (unless there are doctors on here that i dont know about, probably is)
Or could the problem be, she has a condition that you dont understand and therefore are not sure what to do or how to approach it??
Give us a little more detail about what is causing you to feel like this, answer the questions that both me and flyn have asked, hopefully we can help some more
Kev
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'oops, everyone understands oops, it's like a universal language'
Are still repulsed by holding her hand or have you fallen for her??
Let us know!!
Kev
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'oops, everyone understands oops, it's like a universal language'
I think you are right. I notice my sexual attractiveness varies according to how bad my PCOS symptoms are.
I think it is directly linked to my hormones and my fertiility. I think when my body is sick it either gives out unhealthy signals or just doesn't transmit healthy fertile signals.
My physical attractiveness doesn't vary at all but my sexual attractiveness does, I can see the change in reaction from my boyfriend and strangers.
The only thing that makes me doubt my own theory is the issue of homosexuality but other than that I am 100% in agreement with you.
Where did aguywithquestions go?? I would really like to hear more from him. At first I was irritated and angered after reading that he was repulsed by such a wonderful person trying to hold his hand. I couldn't help but think "what a pompous jack ***" but I really think that hearing more from him would give me better insight as to how my hormonal output affects others around me. I completely believe our bodies give off vibes, and I think that would explain ALOT! It would make complete sense to me, just wish I could hear from him again to see how he is feeling now...
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I thought he was overly harsh with the way he was talking, however would be good to know if we helped or even help further!!!
__________________ Learning more about GF condition.
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'oops, everyone understands oops, it's like a universal language'
Perhaps he is too ashamed to come back after he saw how we responded?? I had no intentions of scaring anyone away!! I would really like to hear more from you if you're out there...
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PCOS and sexual biochemestry 
They will check in soon enough
