Been dating a great girl off/on for a year.Recently,she wants to "take a break" from seeing me.Tells me she doesn't know why and that it very easily could be her "hormones".I've never fully known if she has PCOS but we've talked hours and hours about her change in hormones.With this she has 2 periods a month,extreme depression at times,very moody,extreme pelvic pain,short-tempered,etc.
She is not overweight but she has put on 20 plus ponds in the past year plus and is now around 135-140 pounds.She does have a pouchy ut but does not have the acne,blemishes,a little facial hair i notice on her cheek.She had a very rocky,mentaly abusive marriage and developed almost-lesion like marks on her back.She looks in the mirror alot during her mood swings and sees a totally different person,almost a jeckyl/hyde situation.She has only recently started to draw what she sees to get a better understanding and to better deal with it.Her mom id bi-polar but I don't believe my GF is but she gets very edgy and has zero patience.She has been taking pain killers in moderation like crazy the last few months.
She has been very frustrated over the years as she has been to several Dr.'s but no-one has identified this syndrome.At this point we are not talking as she wants to take a break.I have wanted to take her to the Cleveland clinic but everytime it's mentioned it's a "ho-hum" type of an answer.
I guess my question is can this disease really control/consume her like it seems to be doing?
At this point it is very difficult as I REALLY want to see her live a normal life with or w/o me.If i had to sum up one constant about her symptoms it would be the incessant pelvic pain she encounters and the somberness she exudes on a fairly regular basis.
I really love this girl but it's destroying me as well,especially to see her like this.
From the sounds of it she needs to find a specalist in this area not just some clown that calls himself a doctor. And yes i put it this way cause it seems more male doctors do not catch this. Stay on top of things dont give up if she means this much go the distance with her. PCOS is a pain in the butt, but you both can get those things Met and other meds help but know PCOS never goes away. So yes there be days that she looks in a mirror all day and thinks crazy stuff, mood swing heavy AF. My wife had to go to a Endocrinologist was able to tell us this is what we been dealing with for 2 years without either one of us really knowing. But once you both know you can get either herbal help or the meds. Another thing if you give up on her now it going to make her crash hard. In a way she doing the break as a test to see if your going to stay. Read all the info here seek out more theres a ton on this but dont give up hope. If ya need to talk ill be here on the boards.
I think that the previous poster has given you great information.
In my worst, I pushed alot of people away. The depression really hits hard. BUT, knowing that someone was not willing to let me wilt away into the darkness was reassuring.
Continue to be a supportive friend, if even in the distance.
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Fay (28)
Furbaby: Cody the 1yr old Dachsund
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I think Man said it the best. Even if she wants to take a break, send her flowers every now and then or touch bases with her. From what Deb tells me, they spiral down because of the hormones and I can see that with Deb sometimes. Its better on medicine. Occasionally she still gets upset about me leaving her the first time because she has a hard time letting it go, it wounded her in a deeper way than I could ever imagine and now I have to prove my love to her alot after doing that. Its ok though, I love her and leaving her was wrong.
I agree with Man, get her a good doctor and stay close. Dont hover if she wants space but dont leave either. If you love her, right now it is all about her and not you until she is on medicine. Think of it this way - she is sick and not on medicine. If she had diabetes with no insulin shots it would all be about her until she got her medicine. When people are sick they need medicine and with this disease, its the exact same thing.
One thing Deb needs is me to tell her I love her alot, so I do.
You main question, "Can it control her life?" Yes. I've been diagnosed for several years and in the beginning when not treated I was not in control at all. I was not myself and I had no idea who I was turning into. Your whole center is off when you are not treated and if you never had masculine tendancies, the change in behavior is disorienting. We can feel something is changing inside, but we have no idea what it is or how to fix it. When my doctor helped me and I got on medicine (I'm on glucophage) it made better than ever. More balanced than I ever have been, but it did take some sex drive away.
It would be sweet if you sent her flowers. I agree. Doing anything that makes her feel like a woman is good. Flowers, foot massage, opening doors for her, all the things gentlemen should do will help her feel more feminized.
You main question, "Can it control her life?" Yes. I've been diagnosed for several years and in the beginning when not treated I was not in control at all. I was not myself and I had no idea who I was turning into. Your whole center is off when you are not treated and if you never had masculine tendancies, the change in behavior is disorienting. We can feel something is changing inside, but we have no idea what it is or how to fix it. When my doctor helped me and I got on medicine (I'm on glucophage) it made better than ever. More balanced than I ever have been, but it did take some sex drive away.
It would be sweet if you sent her flowers. I agree. Doing anything that makes her feel like a woman is good. Flowers, foot massage, opening doors for her, all the things gentlemen should do will help her feel more feminized.
Thank you all.But the thing is is that she wants to take a break.She tells me I deserve someone who "wants" to be with me.She tells me that she hasn't been getting excited to even see me but when she says it she doesn't know why and says continually "maybe it is my hormones talking".I live about 75 minures away so I can't just show up as if I lived 10 blocks away.
She emailed me last monday on my B-Day and ended the email with "talk to you soon".Not sure exactly what that meant but,man,it is hard.
I think that the previous poster has given you great information.
In my worst, I pushed alot of people away. The depression really hits hard. BUT, knowing that someone was not willing to let me wilt away into the darkness was reassuring.
Continue to be a supportive friend, if even in the distance.
Afro,
Thanks.At this point I don't know what to do even in communication.I certainly don't apreciate a couple things she said to me but I continually buy into the fact that these awful hormones can control/consume even rational decision making.She has always told me that I make her feel better when I'm around her except for the past 3 weeks or so.But it can't be enough just for me to make her feel better.As I mentioned,I really want to take her to the cleveland clinic as they have a wonderful program in dealing with women's health issues.
Did you feel that your everyday,rational decision-making was affected as well?She was taking vicodin for the longest time as that was the only thing helping her with pain.When she took them they whacked her out mentally but when she purposely layed off the pain was unbearable.
You main question, "Can it control her life?" Yes. I've been diagnosed for several years and in the beginning when not treated I was not in control at all. I was not myself and I had no idea who I was turning into. Your whole center is off when you are not treated and if you never had masculine tendancies, the change in behavior is disorienting. We can feel something is changing inside, but we have no idea what it is or how to fix it. When my doctor helped me and I got on medicine (I'm on glucophage) it made better than ever. More balanced than I ever have been, but it did take some sex drive away.
It would be sweet if you sent her flowers. I agree. Doing anything that makes her feel like a woman is good. Flowers, foot massage, opening doors for her, all the things gentlemen should do will help her feel more feminized.
All Heart,
I really wish I could do more but am not seeing her now.I don't want to come off as a lack of self-respect by really even being thee during this time.There has to be a part of her that "wants" me but she must realize it,correct?Or can this REALLY alter rational thinking and decisions?There are days she has no clue and just curls up on the couch w/o even answering the phone.I've never met someone so moody.
There has to be a part of her that "wants" me but she must realize it,correct?Or can this REALLY alter rational thinking and decisions?There are days she has no clue and just curls up on the couch w/o even answering the phone.I've never met someone so moody.I continually buy into the fact that these awful hormones can control/consume even rational decision making.
Brother man You need help I hope you are learning what this is and know what she has told you is true by now. Contact me in a PM or other wise I hope I can help or your getting your GF help. And dont tell me just cause she wants to take a break she is not the one you are thinking of everyday or you would not be here. I am here to tell you she wants you around but with PCOS the women tend to push everyone and everything away. Yes YES YES it can turn the most rational thinking women into a mess over night. My wife used to do the same thing for the 2 years while we were in Germany and we did not know for sure this is what we were dealing with. You dont need to buy into the fact these awful hormones can control and comsume her I am here to tell you they will. Best you can do some days is tell her sweet nothing and hold her. Let you know she is the best thing thats happened and you want to help her thru her tough times. My marriage is so rewarding right now. It takes time dont think it does not. And remember its a life long battle now just something that just goes away. I am Man of the Board if you need to talk get ahold of me. I am on these boards alot.
Brother man You need help I hope you are learning what this is and know what she has told you is true by now. Contact me in a PM or other wise I hope I can help or your getting your GF help. And dont tell me just cause she wants to take a break she is not the one you are thinking of everyday or you would not be here. I am here to tell you she wants you around but with PCOS the women tend to push everyone and everything away. Yes YES YES it can turn the most rational thinking women into a mess over night. My wife used to do the same thing for the 2 years while we were in Germany and we did not know for sure this is what we were dealing with. You dont need to buy into the fact these awful hormones can control and comsume her I am here to tell you they will. Best you can do some days is tell her sweet nothing and hold her. Let you know she is the best thing thats happened and you want to help her thru her tough times. My marriage is so rewarding right now. It takes time dont think it does not. And remember its a life long battle now just something that just goes away. I am Man of the Board if you need to talk get ahold of me. I am on these boards alot.
Thank you MOTB!!I really appreciate it.Not able to PM you yet as I don't have 30 posts yet.Do you have email you can publicly share?If not no big deal as I'll get you a PM as soon as I post more.You take care.
Thanks.At this point I don't know what to do even in communication.I certainly don't apreciate a couple things she said to me but I continually buy into the fact that these awful hormones can control/consume even rational decision making.She has always told me that I make her feel better when I'm around her except for the past 3 weeks or so.But it can't be enough just for me to make her feel better.As I mentioned,I really want to take her to the cleveland clinic as they have a wonderful program in dealing with women's health issues.
Did you feel that your everyday,rational decision-making was affected as well?
Hey,
I knwo this is the guys board so please excuse me posting. I just wanted to let you know that there are times that I say and do things that I have no idea why I am. It's almost like I am floating above myself and watching myself get into fights and get crazy and I can't stop myself. I will even know I am being irrational in my head but my hormones take charge. But no matter how much I push my DH away the thing that makes me feel centered and sane is his presence. He makes me feel balanced when the emotional monster starts to take over. Give her a little space but send her a sweet email telling her how much she means to you and how much you want to be with her and help her.
Also, the you deserve someone better stuff is her insecurity not that she actually feels that way, she is trying to protect you from what she is going through. At first I was the same, always trying to protect my DH from my inner crazy but letting him in and letting him know whats going on with me has made our relationship stronger.
I hope it all works out for you. (By the way I am a little worried about the vicodin thing. I took it a lot for pelvic pain in HS and got addicted to it. Trying to stop taking it after that made pain feel worse then it actually was becuase I was also going through withdrawls.)
HUGS
__________________ Marie @~~~~>~~~~>~~~~>~~~~ Me: 26 DH: 27 Married: 12/20/08
Co-Sleeping, Baby Wearing, Working Mom of: William James: 6/22/09 @ 34 weeks, 4 days 3 pounds 14 ounces, 16 inches.
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I don't know your gf's history with drs, but I know there are some ladies out there who feel that the word doctor is worse then any 'four letter word' you can think of. It comes down to the pain we've experienced and emotions we have went thru, the testing that's been done with no real answers, and the drs just keep giving us the run around and/or treating us as if we're headcases.
Does your gf believe that she has PCOS? If so, then you could ask about a PCOS friendly dr in your area in the Dr. referal area of the forum, and that may make the suggestion of going to the dr a little easier.
I agree with the other ladies about needing the personal space. Even on medication, I still get moods and I just want to be alone. DH just doesn't understand, and automatically thinks that he's done something wrong or I'm not interested in him anymore... It's not the case, I don't even understand why I get these feelings, and I probably never will.
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~35 ~ PCOS/IR ~ LAVH due to fibroid, kept ovaries ~
I'm like Marie. My boyfriends presense is the only thing I need when I am in a crazy place. I only need holding and to be rocked gently or just standing there is fine too.
Unfortunately, mine left.
PCOS /Taking over ? 
