don't you just find that some people that you thought were your friends are inconsiderate!. following my other post with my experience over the weekend. i have spoken to a select few about what had happened as i felt i needed to acknowledge the event to which one person said well at least you know your body can do it and the other said well at least it was early! I find this no consolation at all.
grrr!
rant over its all for me to come to terms with anyway
People just have no idea what they are saying!! (((Hugs)))
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
lost twin girls 11 wk( missed miscarriage 6 w)- 12/03 ( clomid/met)
lost triplets 9w2d- ( M. M. 7 wk) 2/05 ( clomid/met)
lost baby 8w3d ( M. M. 5w)- 10/12/05( clomid/met)
chem. pg 4w2d- 08/05
December 05- karyotyping( me, DH, and fetus)- all clear, except my Cataracts are genetic
Blood- neg. Factor V, Lupus, Rhumatiod Arthritis, all Hormones ok!
Going to UAB for workup at Kirkland Cllinic 12/28/07!! Yay!
From friends who so helpfully told me that the baby was probably deformed, to my own mom who said, "Maybe you weren't even pregnant" (what?!?!?). I mean really - if someone's spouse died would you go to their funeral and tell them, "Well, you're still young so you can always get another husband..."
I understand that a lot of people just don't know what to say and, while trying to be helpful, don't realize how hurtful their platitudes become. I've probably been guilty of some of them myself when I was younger. But that doesn't make it any easier to hear when you're already in so much pain.
__________________ Nicole (32)+ DH (33) Married June 4, 2000 my blog! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
dx PCOS Fall 2000 TTC since Sept 2006 1st BFP Dec 2006 lost @8 weeks To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I really know where your coming from. My MIL said ohhh you can have another dont worry about it. And then complained cuz Im still out of work till dr releases me back. She said ohh I went back to work the next day after my m/c. Then the day after my d & c we went with the in-laws to dinner and they totally ignored me like I was invisable. I sat there and cried and they didnt care or look in my direction once. Then we sun to the grocery store and a old friend of my mom and a coworker of my MIL (my mil works with her) SCREAM at the top of her lungs "Im sorry but you can always try again cuz its for the best that it died" Everyone just turned and looked I had all I could do not to cry. Im just thinking who the heck says something like that. How do you know in you heart that its ok to talk to ppl like that. I just dont understand ppl.
I had a stillborn at 28 weeks, who was deformed, and I HATE when people say that its for the best. I also had people say I could have another, at least I knew I could get pregnant, and it wasn't meant to be.
My grandfather, who had a stillborn too, told me I had to forget about him. My grandmother was depressed her whole life (she was bipolar), and I think if she would have been allowed to remember her son, she would have maybe been a little better. Thanks, but we prefer remembering him for what he was to us.
I have a "friend" who only knows me since before losing Matthew and after losing Anna. She has told me countless times how lucky I am to NOT have children, after having a stressful day with the kids she rarely thinks to discipline. Most of her stress with them she caused because she's not the greatest mother and is lazy. What we all wouldn't give for that stressful day.
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I have a "friend" who only knows me since before losing Matthew and after losing Anna. She has told me countless times how lucky I am to NOT have children, after having a stressful day with the kids she rarely thinks to discipline. Most of her stress with them she caused because she's not the greatest mother and is lazy. What we all wouldn't give for that stressful day.
I agree completely! It really bothers me when people say things like that. I often hear, "Oh, you're so lucky! I wish I could still ... (sleep in, travel, go out for the evening, have a quiet night at home, etc). I remember what is used to be like before we had kids!" Really?!?!? You remember what it is like to have the one thing you most desperately want not be in your reach? I would give up my quiet evenings and eight hours of sleep to you in a heartbeat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brynnasmommy
I had a co-worker tell me at least I wouldn't be pregnant in the hot summer...
That's just horrible. I don't understand how anyone with the emotional intelligence of at least a 12-year-old could possibly find that appropriate.
For me it is so hard because I do a lot of parent educating and early childhood interventions. I work with so many parents who hate the fact that they're parents and honestly resent their child's presence in their life. And then there are so many more that are completely impatient and unrespectful of this young life that they have been given responsibility for.
__________________ Nicole (32)+ DH (33) Married June 4, 2000 my blog! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
dx PCOS Fall 2000 TTC since Sept 2006 1st BFP Dec 2006 lost @8 weeks To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I was told yesterday by my in-laws hasnt it been long enough. (mind you no h/b 2wks ago) Havent you milked this long enough. Just try for another one for petes sake. Its not that hard. (also mind you it took us 2ys to get the 1st one)
Lillah: I am so sorry. You really made me think. I had a MC and a chemical pg and know that I have told cysters here that at least finding out you had a chem pg rather than just thinking AF came and a fertility procedure didn't work can sometimes at least give them some hope or what I thought to be a positive knowing you can get PG since so many can't even get that far. You have made me realize that this may be an insensitive comment to some and now I feel badly and will be really careful in the future. Thanks so much for this. I do hope you are hanging in there. Suffering these losses is so hard for you and your DH too.
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Cheereeo-I think it makes a total difference who makes that comment. If it's someone who is struggling with infertility and/or losses, to me, that's a different story. I will add that my mom made that comment saying how now I know I can become pregnant. It didn't bother me when she said that as it was something I was thinking myself...I was still in shock my body had done what it was designed to do (although it just didn't complete the mission) after so many yrs of being out of whack. As for getting that comment from "other" people who simply say "at least you know you can get pregnant"...I can see how that would bother others as it would bother me.
I am ready with the comeback for my friend that SHE is the lucky one...all the times she drove around drunk/high with her kids in the car, that she, them, nor anyone else was hurt or worse...killed. She doesn't drink or do drugs now and I didn't really know her when she was heavily into it...and she knows she's lucky nothing has ever happened to them...but I hate when she says that. I'll add she's a pretty self centered person in general, in case that didn't come across in my post otherwise, lol.
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my doc has also said the good thing is you can get pregnant! miscarriage is something you dont understand until it is you or your spouse. i remember thinking the same stupid thoughts before i had one.
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Keva (30) Keith(32)
9 ANGEL BABES:
1 mc 12 wk March 2K
2 mc 20 wk Nov 2K (twins)
3 mc 8 wk Aug. 2K4
4 mc 6 wk Jan 2K7
5 mc 5 wk Dec 2k7
6 tubal preg May 08 6wk
7 blt ovum Oct 08 7.5 weeks
8 mc 5wk June 09
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People are inconsiderate! 
